Always wear a condom if you want to protect a safe seat  ..

Spunking Cock Blues

Is it available as a download?

or a 7 inch?



Admin edit: Moved post to more appropriate thread (if you can call it that) .

congratulations mark

Gramaisc wrote:

MarkHeenan wrote:

As for spunking cocks, I feel I must reveal the precedent that was set during the two counts. In the Local Election, there was a ballot paper with a non-spunking cock in the box, which since the entirety of the mark was within the box did count as a valid vote. In the European count however, a cock within one box was spunking into another box, and was rejected as "void for uncertainty". So now you know - be careful where you spunk.

I can see you replacing Peter Snow and his swingometer when your time is up. What a concise explanation of the intricacies of the electoral system. I might even stay up to watch Election Night Special if it was as good as this - and if I had a telly.

I understood that 'be careful where you spunk' had been official Party advice since the days of Cecil Parkinson, Alan Clarke, David Mellor,....

dear god, i am literally laughing out loud here    i can't believe someone drew a cock, and it was counted as a valid vote, but the addition of spunk on another rendered it null and void due to the voracity and ambiguity of said ejection

"be careful where you spunk"

cookie_monster wrote:

MarkHeenan wrote:

I was shocked that Labour got so close. I felt certain the Lib Dems were the main threat. With a majority of only 68 it's pretty clear I've got one term and one term only, so I'd better get on with stuff...

what will happen re: things like the castletown parking scheme that maureen compton has been been so instrumental in getting off the ground?

i know this is a mattter that will affect quite a few posters on here?


x

All I can say at this point is that I will be looking into it urgently, but if it is as popular with the residents as I am led to believe it is, then I would be a fool not to fight tooth and nail to get it done.

Well, if no one else is going to say it:
"I for one welcome our new Conservative overlords."

Congratulations, Mark. Please don't waste the chance you've been given.

It reminds me of old Cllr Fairbanks, now deceased sadly. When I stood for the Borough Council in 2007 he gave me a little card with a picture if a mother and her daughter, with the caption "Mummy, do all fairy tales start with 'once upon a time'?" "Oh no dear, there are plenty that start with 'if elected I promise...'"

shoes wrote:

I too would like to welcome Mr Heenan as our new MP and would like to reiterate Wookie's sentiments.

I look forward to seeing what changes, what doesn't etc. in the near future.

hes not an MP...thats david kidney still.

he is however a new county councillor.


x

We should also have an MEP, or two, and possibly a Borough Councillor or Parish Councillor, depending on where you reside.

We actually have 6 MEPs, 2 Tories, 2 UKIP, a Lab and a Lib. We have one National MP, as we all know, and I believe that, as we don't (yet?) have a unitary authority, we should have two local authority councillors, whose titles may vary depending on where you live, although there will be one County Councillor and one Borough or Parish Councillor. I'm sure that our resident elected representative will correct this as necessary, when he spots it.

The MP is David Kidney, currently, as we all know.

MEP's Name         Political Party

Philip Bradbourn   Conservative
Michael Cashman Labour
Malcolm Harbour  Conservative
Liz Lynne             Liberal Democrat
Mike Natrass        UKIP
Nikki Sinclaire      UKIP

This will give you your Borough Councillor, but it's up to you to know which ward you're in.

This will give you your County Councillor, same rule applies.

Last edited by Gramaisc (10 Jun 2009 12:11:27)

So there are!

Stafford Borough Council wrote:

"Parish and Town Councils
At a more local level there are 179 Parish and Town Councils in Staffordshire.   These councils have parish councillors who are elected every four years.  Usually elections are held at the same time as district/borough elections.  Services that Parish and Town Councils may provide include:

allotments
bus shelters
cemeteries
children's play grounds
grants for local projects / organisations
halls for social clubs and meetings
parish lighting
recreational / sports fields
traffic calming measures
war memorial maintenance"

I've always been a bit mystified by Parish Councils.

Last edited by Gramaisc (11 Jun 2009 06:31:07)

Electorate send horrified BNP leader to work with foreigners

British voters have forced the leader of the British National Party Nick Griffin out of the country after electing him as a member of the European Parliament as a wind up. "Now they’re saying they want me to go and work with hundreds of disgusting foreigners," Griffin whined.

In his victory speech, the tearful BNP leader complained that his so-called supporters "didn't care about his feelings" and admitted that he hadn't really thought it through. "Don’t make me go and sit with those smelly Europeans," he pleaded. "They’ll speak to me in their funny languages and make me eat hummous and garlic and all that. I don't know what I was thinking."

Now the dust has settled about the elections - wow so much dust - Tom has thanked everyone for voting Green.    Great!   I presume that Tom is to the left of the Labourites....   Is he happy that the Tories reaped the benefit.    Ironic - vote Green get Blue - I'm happy with that!!!    Isn't everyone...

dirtybobby wrote:

i have to wonder why you've been giving markheenan an (albeit mild) hard time in the other threads?

Perhaps he's not quite blue enough...

...although his spunking cocks comment was fairly blue.