Targeted Advertising.

Noah

Noah

Well-Known Forumite
Gramaisc said:
... The idea of being able to confiscate the remote and introduce a 'fun event' to an unsuspecting user's experience does seem strangely attractive, though.
Click to expand...

The analogue version was available at school. The flush handles for the toilets vanished through the wall into a short corridor used as a maintainence cupboard. There the ends of the handles were connected to chains linked to high level cisterns. It was easy to count along the occupied cubicles, dash out of the toilets and into the cupboard where you pulled the appropriate chains, then got out of there fast.
 
Gramaisc

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
Noah said:
The analogue version was available at school. The flush handles for the toilets vanished through the wall into a short corridor used as a maintainence cupboard. There the ends of the handles were connected to chains linked to high level cisterns. It was easy to count along the occupied cubicles, dash out of the toilets and into the cupboard where you pulled the appropriate chains, then got out of there fast.
Click to expand...
In Cyprus, a key skill was the ability to form a hollow cube from a sheet of paper, in an origami-style. These cubes could then be filled with water from the many drinking fountains around the place that supplied water at about 0.1°C. It was then a simple matter to lob one over the door of each occupied cubicle. The sudden arrival of water just above freezing point when sitting in a shed at around 40°C was quite overpowering.


The University of Bolton thinks that I should do an MBA in Retail Management.

I suspect that people on both sides of the counter would be disappointed if I did.
 
Gramaisc

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
eBay has just warned me that an item that I was watching is no longer available.

That's probably because I bought it last Sunday and it arrived here this morning.
 
Thehooperman

Thehooperman

Well-Known Forumite
After clicking on the singles thread I am now being targeted by a dating site that claims to have "87% female users".

I wonder which parts of their bodies constitute the other 13%?
 
Gramaisc

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
Facebook has just suggested that I join the 302 other people who have already 'liked' the page for Wolstanton Medical Centre.

I knew it was somewhere in Stoke, but I've just had a look and I'm fairly confident that I have never been in Wolstanton.
 
Gramaisc

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
"Meet attractive men now" - at the top.

and

"The best site that gets you a girl" - at the bottom.



The grapeshot approach to targeting....
 
Gramaisc

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
I'm being told that I no longer need to consider using Gantt charts.

That it can be replaced by some computerised thing.

Well, I never did anyway.

A pictorial representation of lies, mostly, in my experience...
 
Gramaisc

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
Glam said:
What are them?
Click to expand...
This sort of thing.

multi-phase-project-schedule.png


Used by people who go to meetings to lie to each other.
 
Gramaisc

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
Mmm, I currently have an intermittently blocked ear. I may have mentioned it online somewhere, but I don't remember doing so.

I have just been offered a USB ear endoscope, presumably so described in case I don't know what an otoscope is.

Oddly, (perhaps?), I do have an otoscope, but it would be difficult to use on myself. The other 14,000,000,000 human ears on the planet would be OK, by not my two - shame.
 
Tilly

Tilly

Well-Known Forumite
Gramaisc said:
Mmm, I currently have an intermittently blocked ear. I may have mentioned it online somewhere, but I don't remember doing so.

I have just been offered a USB ear endoscope, presumably so described in case I don't know what an otoscope is.

Oddly, (perhaps?), I do have an otoscope, but it would be difficult to use on myself. The other 14,000,000,000 human ears on the planet would be OK, by not my two - shame.
Click to expand...


Wot?
 
Gramaisc

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
For only seventy five quid, I am being offered a training day that will enable me to improve my LinkedIn profile - as if I have one.

But I do still have the seventy five quid that they're not getting.

Apparently, the seventy five quid "includes a free lunch".

If the lunch is actually free, it doesn't matter whether the seventy five quid includes it or not, does it?
 
Gramaisc

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
They want me to buy a stethoscope - a premium quality one in a champagne finish, whatever that is.

Almost tempted, if I didn't have perfectly serviceable stethoscope already.
 
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