Mundane facts about your day...

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Cue

Cue

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BobClay said:
My local pub is a bit peculiar. Some years back a mate came in and asked me if I wanted an Oak Tree. He was carrying a plant pot with this sad looking weed in it: “It needs somewhere to grow,” he told me. Having had a few I agreed.

Right now the bloody thing has taken over a corner of the garden completely, it’s growing like the clappers. It’s a mutant !!

A few years later the land lord of the pub came out with an old paint tin with another weed in it. “Here Bob,” he said cheerfully. “Have an Ash Tree.” Having had a few I agreed.

Another part of my small garden is now being dominated by a mutant Ash Tree that’s already overtaken the mutant Oak Tree.

TODAY !!

A mate came in and said: “Here Bob, have some tomatoes and a cucumber, my greenhouse is firing on all cylinders.” Having had a few, I agreed.

Look at the picture !!! I put the can of beer and the pound coin in to give it some scale. The tomato is the size of a cricket ball, and the cucumber could pass itself off as a torpedo. They’ve both got to be mutants … it must be Radon gas or something.

I’m being surrounded by mutant plants. It’s like a bloody science fiction B movie.
:eek:
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If anyone offers you a fruit tree take it.
 
BobClay

BobClay

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No more trees for me. I've done my bit. This shows the problem, top pair the Oak Tree 10 years ago and now. Bottom pair the Ash Tree 7 years ago and now.

I like trees, but the plan was to piss my neighbours off long after I'm gone. At this rate I might have to do battle before I croak.:eek:

Trees.jpg
 
Withnail

Withnail

Well-Known Forumite
staffordjas said:
My parents never helped me out at all, they wouldn't even babysit...
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My parents had that, in spades, from their parents.

They never even got a Wedding Present from them - they got a promise of one, but even that was reneged upon.

My parents have been a rock to me and mine, and their unswerving love has been such to me that I could never hope to ever properly express the gratitude I owe them.

Your son is a lucky boy that he has such a mother as you.

I have much enjoyed reading your missives over the years, and would much rather they continued. If that is not to be, then buena suerte, what?
 
BobClay

BobClay

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I was mowing the lawns under a hot Sun when I felt a sudden sting on my arm. A bloody horse fly the size of a four engine bomber had just plunged its borer through my skin looking for a cheap meal. I sent it straight to insect hell … but would you believe it ? … the bastard drew blood !! :eek:

Normally I let insects be … but I'm sorry, if they bore f****** holes in me its OBLIVION TIME. :o
 
Perrier

Perrier

Banned
BobClay said:
I was mowing the lawns under a hot Sun when I felt a sudden sting on my arm. A bloody horse fly the size of a four engine bomber had just plunged its borer through my skin looking for a cheap meal. I sent it straight to insect hell … but would you believe it ? … the bastard drew blood !! :eek:

Normally I let insects be … but I'm sorry, if they bore f****** holes in me its OBLIVION TIME. :o
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That fecker's gonna itch like crazy tomorrow ( and prob swell to the size of a duck egg too. )
 
Glam

Glam

Mad Cat Woman
Just been CEX with the youngest, and walked up the high street for what must be the first time in about 18months. What a dump Stafford has become. The County town is now a shithole. Didn't see any sign of any homeless people or chuggers (aren't they the same) but the amount of empty shops.
Normally I go as far as Poundland/Wilkos and that's it.
I used go the market every week for bits n bobs, but the best stalls closed yrs ago, and I have go a farm shop now.



*Haven't heard owt about the kitten/Soo yet. I suppose no news is good news??
 
BobClay

BobClay

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If the poor little fellah makes it Glam, I think you're going to have to take it on. You saved it's life. Under Apache Law you have to take it. (I just pretty much made that up … but you know what I mean.) ;)
 
Glam

Glam

Mad Cat Woman
BobClay said:
If the poor little fellah makes it Glam, I think you're going to have to take it on. You saved it's life. Under Apache Law you have to take it. (I just pretty much made that up … but you know what I mean.) ;)
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I know what you mean, so tempting, see what the vet says when they ring us.
 
Perrier

Perrier

Banned
Glam said:
I know what you mean, so tempting, see what the vet says when they ring us.
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I recall some places allow you to "adopt" by contributions if you have no way of homing yourself.
...that way , you would be kept up to speed on the welfare.

not sure that's something ive seen around here though.

hopefully all will be ok.
 
Trumpet

Trumpet

Well-Known Forumite
Been up to Liverpool this weekend. Boy has his gf moving in this coming week. So we've been replacing all the roller blinds I fitted when he moved in with curtain poles, painted his bathroom and other sundry jobs that have been mounting up.
Planned to go into town last night for a few bevvies and a nice meal but as it was gone 19:00 when we'd finished we ended up going to a Witherspoons within walking distance from his gaff. Filled our bellies for less than £30 and got very 'relaxed'. Really enjoyed it. Sometimes cheap fast food really manages to hit the spot.
 
Glam

Glam

Mad Cat Woman
Went into Greggs with our lad earlier. ''Can I have half a dozen sausage rolls please'' The girl behind the counter looked at me as if I'd come down in the last snow storm... ''Half a dozen???'' The world as we know it is doomed.
 
BobClay

BobClay

Well-Known Forumite
I've spent most of the night waiting for an alien embryo to burst out of my arm (John Hurt style) thanks to Perry. :teef: But it didn't happen. It does itch though. It looks like a needle mark on the crease of my elbow (that bug knew where the good stuff was) so now people are going to think I'm some sort of hophead. :eek:

This is what comes of doing gardening. I've always said it's bad for your health. :heyhey:
 
Perrier

Perrier

Banned
BobClay said:
I've spent most of the night waiting for an alien embryo to burst out of my arm (John Hurt style) thanks to Perry. :teef: But it didn't happen. It does itch though. It looks like a needle mark on the crease of my elbow (that bug knew where the good stuff was) so now people are going to think I'm some sort of hophead. :eek:

This is what comes of doing gardening. I've always said it's bad for your health. :heyhey:
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Just dont scratch it .


...Trust me , you dont want to scratch it.

muhahahahaha :twisted:
 
Glam

Glam

Mad Cat Woman
Glam said:
*Haven't heard owt about the kitten/Soo yet. I suppose no news is good news??
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*Update about the kitten/Soo. Rang the vets this evening, She is purring her head off, eating and drinking. Is probably going to lose her left eye. The lady I spoke to, said the vet thinks the kitten has cat flu, she int 100% sure. I'll ring back in a couple of days.


On a downside, there is some twat revvin the arse off his motorbike, he's sat on Sainsburys short stay here and I bet they can hear him in Seighford. If I had gun I'd threaten put a bullet thru the thing.
 
Perrier

Perrier

Banned
I was just chilling in the living room , I had got the back door open as it's still quite hot in here.
Dog was snoring as usual on the sofa .
Next thing I saw was a cat sitting in my living room meowing for some treats lol.

Quickly had to usher it out before the dog realised it was there.

See I do have a heart .






Sometimes ;)
 
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