Today I Heard.....

Glam

Mad Cat Woman
2 lovely ladies chatting about adult toys in Poundland.
1st lady - ''Is this what I think it is? Hehehee, I'm too old for 1 of those!''
2nd lady - ''No, I'm done with all of that stuff''
They talked about a couple of other things, then 1st said - what was I looking at?
To which I patted her on the back, and in quite a loud voice said - ''Vibrators darling, you were looking at Vibrators!''
Poor sods, I think they wanted the ground open up n swallow them!.
 

Thehooperman

Well-Known Forumite
2 lovely ladies chatting about adult toys in Poundland.
1st lady - ''Is this what I think it is? Hehehee, I'm too old for 1 of those!''
2nd lady - ''No, I'm done with all of that stuff''
They talked about a couple of other things, then 1st said - what was I looking at?
To which I patted her on the back, and in quite a loud voice said - ''Vibrators darling, you were looking at Vibrators!''
Poor sods, I think they wanted the ground open up n swallow them!.

It would have been even funnier if you'd manage to slip one into each of their baskets :)
 

Glam

Mad Cat Woman
2 lovely ladies chatting about adult toys in Poundland.
1st lady - ''Is this what I think it is? Hehehee, I'm too old for 1 of those!''
2nd lady - ''No, I'm done with all of that stuff''
They talked about a couple of other things, then 1st said - what was I looking at?
To which I patted her on the back, and in quite a loud voice said - ''Vibrators darling, you were looking at Vibrators!''
Poor sods, I think they wanted the ground open up n swallow them!.
It would have been even funnier if you'd manage to slip one into each of their baskets :)
Didn't think of that! TBH they were giggling so much I think a pack of Tena pads would've been more usefull!
 

BobClay

Well-Known Forumite
Today I heard that Putin has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.

I've hurt myself laughing at this because it's such a good joke. :lolsmash:
 

Thehooperman

Well-Known Forumite
Overheard whilst waiting for my car's MOT test to be completed "wheel alignment is £54.99 but we have a special offer on for up to 8 wheel alignments over a two year period".

Who on earth has their wheels realigned 8 times over two years unless they keep hitting kerbs or other obstacles?
 

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
Overheard whilst waiting for my car's MOT test to be completed "wheel alignment is £54.99 but we have a special offer on for up to 8 wheel alignments over a two year period".

Who on earth has their wheels realigned 8 times over two years unless they keep hitting kerbs or other obstacles?
Maybe it's just for eight wheels - one car, twice?
 

proactive

Enjoying a drop of red.
Overheard whilst waiting for my car's MOT test to be completed "wheel alignment is £54.99 but we have a special offer on for up to 8 wheel alignments over a two year period".

Who on earth has their wheels realigned 8 times over two years unless they keep hitting kerbs or other obstacles?
If you're a high mileage driver on 21st century British roads, that's actually a good deal.

Pre lockdowns, when I was driving about 50k miles a year in one vehicle or another, wheel alignment was a once every two months ritual. Due to the increase in and size of potholes and modern large wheels with rubber band tyres not being able to withstand knocks.
 
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Thehooperman

Well-Known Forumite
If you're a high mileage driver on 21st century British roads, that's actually a good deal.

Pre lockdowns, when I was driving about 50k miles a year in one vehicle or another, wheel alignment was a once every two months ritual. Due to the increase in and size of potholes and modern large wheels with rubber band tyres not being able to withstand knocks.

Fair point, every two months seems a little excessive to me but I understand your argument with the state of today's roads and tyres.

I get my wheel alignment checked annually unless I hit a pothole but I'm only driving c12k maximum per year and even less over the last 10 months.
 

proactive

Enjoying a drop of red.
Fair point, every two months seems a little excessive to me but I understand your argument with the state of today's roads and tyres.

I get my wheel alignment checked annually unless I hit a pothole but I'm only driving c12k maximum per year and even less over the last 10 months.
The point is it's cheaper to get your wheel alignment done (checking is usually free) than it is to replace a set of 20 inch tyres early because the wear pattern has been screwed up by the misalignment.
 

tek-monkey

wanna see my snake?
The point is it's cheaper to get your wheel alignment done (checking is usually free) than it is to replace a set of 20 inch tyres early because the wear pattern has been screwed up by the misalignment.

A mate did mine in August, god knows what had happened to the car previously but in my first 5k I'd gone from easily legal to threadbare but only on the inside 2". Don't want to repeat that regularly!
 

staffordjas

Well-Known Forumite
Just heard .....and seen photos....sons work has become part of the River Severn again tonight . Same thing happened this time last year! :(
 

BobClay

Well-Known Forumite
I just had a letter calling me into Exeter Hospital on Tuesday am for PET scan. They're going to NUKE me !!!! :eek: (Which is a bit off, as I'm the one who's supposed to do the nuking around here ... :roll:)

Positron Emission Topography.

A Positron is the anti-matter equivalent of an Electron. When they meet, they annihilate each other with a release of electromagnetic radiation energy (Gamma rays) according to Uncle Albert's famous equation.

Anti-matter is the power source for the starship Enterprise as I remember. So if on Tuesday you hear a loud bang, that'll be me outward bound for the Andromeda Galaxy at Warp Factor 10.

The final frontier, where no wazzeck has gone before ... :P
 

Glam

Mad Cat Woman
I just had a letter calling me into Exeter Hospital on Tuesday am for PET scan. They're going to NUKE me !!!! :eek: (Which is a bit off, as I'm the one who's supposed to do the nuking around here ... :roll:)

Positron Emission Topography.

A Positron is the anti-matter equivalent of an Electron. When they meet, they annihilate each other with a release of electromagnetic radiation energy (Gamma rays) according to Uncle Albert's famous equation.

Anti-matter is the power source for the starship Enterprise as I remember. So if on Tuesday you hear a loud bang, that'll be me outward bound for the Andromeda Galaxy at Warp Factor 10.

The final frontier, where no wazzeck has gone before ... :P
:hug:
 

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
I just had a letter calling me into Exeter Hospital on Tuesday am for PET scan. They're going to NUKE me !!!! :eek: (Which is a bit off, as I'm the one who's supposed to do the nuking around here ... :roll:)

Positron Emission Topography.

A Positron is the anti-matter equivalent of an Electron. When they meet, they annihilate each other with a release of electromagnetic radiation energy (Gamma rays) according to Uncle Albert's famous equation.

Anti-matter is the power source for the starship Enterprise as I remember. So if on Tuesday you hear a loud bang, that'll be me outward bound for the Andromeda Galaxy at Warp Factor 10.

The final frontier, where no wazzeck has gone before ... :P
This is for sale in Cornwall, if you need to isolate until you stop glowing.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-cornwall-55759872

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_116629946_143ca59b-5596-43ab-bfe0-a70a9b163733.jpg


Good luck!
 

proactive

Enjoying a drop of red.
I just had a letter calling me into Exeter Hospital on Tuesday am for PET scan. They're going to NUKE me !!!! :eek: (Which is a bit off, as I'm the one who's supposed to do the nuking around here ... :roll:)

Positron Emission Topography.

A Positron is the anti-matter equivalent of an Electron. When they meet, they annihilate each other with a release of electromagnetic radiation energy (Gamma rays) according to Uncle Albert's famous equation.

Anti-matter is the power source for the starship Enterprise as I remember. So if on Tuesday you hear a loud bang, that'll be me outward bound for the Andromeda Galaxy at Warp Factor 10.

The final frontier, where no wazzeck has gone before ... :P
All the best mate :up:
 

Thehooperman

Well-Known Forumite
I just had a letter calling me into Exeter Hospital on Tuesday am for PET scan. They're going to NUKE me !!!! :eek: (Which is a bit off, as I'm the one who's supposed to do the nuking around here ... :roll:)

Positron Emission Topography.

A Positron is the anti-matter equivalent of an Electron. When they meet, they annihilate each other with a release of electromagnetic radiation energy (Gamma rays) according to Uncle Albert's famous equation.

Anti-matter is the power source for the starship Enterprise as I remember. So if on Tuesday you hear a loud bang, that'll be me outward bound for the Andromeda Galaxy at Warp Factor 10.

The final frontier, where no wazzeck has gone before ... :P

Hope all goes well on Tuesday.
 

Trumpet

Well-Known Forumite
I just had a letter calling me into Exeter Hospital on Tuesday am for PET scan. They're going to NUKE me !!!! :eek: (Which is a bit off, as I'm the one who's supposed to do the nuking around here ... :roll:)

Positron Emission Topography.

A Positron is the anti-matter equivalent of an Electron. When they meet, they annihilate each other with a release of electromagnetic radiation energy (Gamma rays) according to Uncle Albert's famous equation.

Anti-matter is the power source for the starship Enterprise as I remember. So if on Tuesday you hear a loud bang, that'll be me outward bound for the Andromeda Galaxy at Warp Factor 10.

The final frontier, where no wazzeck has gone before ... :P
Hope all comes good for you.
 
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