Brain Dead Telly Box Programmes

[Ecker]

I had thought that "When Gastric Bands go Wrong" was bad enough but, tonight I see that:
"Iceland, Life in the Freezer Cabinet" will shortly be appearing on BBC2.

Your suggestions please for low budget, gormless reality tv trash; mine is:

"Hell's Reality Kitchen" featuring Gordon Ramsay judging numpties abilities to clean
down the back of the cooker.

 

[Gramaisc]

Changing Wombs - various unsuitable potential parents compete for audience votes which will decide who gets the output from the various surrogate mothers that are incubating the prizes.

I'm A Celebrity Ex-Con, Get Me Out Of Here - various well-known ex-jailbirds* are ensconced in a recently closed prison** and compete to gain votes from the audience 'parole board'..

* Archer, Aitken, Huhne, etc, etc...

** Shrewsbury..?

 

[Withnail]

I'm A Celebrity Ex-Con, Get Me Out Of Here...

Or they could compete to get the most contraband inside - I'm A Celebrity Ex-Con, Get Some Snout In Here.

 

[Withnail]

Celebrity fly fishing - I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Trout Of Here.

 

[Withnail]

Celebrity 'reconstructive surgery' - I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Pout In Here.

 

[Withnail]

Celebrity boxing - I'm A Celebrity, Get My Bout In Here.

 

[Withnail]

(that's enough celebrities - Ed)

 

[Ecker]

"Cash in the Baltic" Russian oligarchs auction off art works from "The Hermitage"
to raise money to buy football teams and, oh yes, a pony for Jocasta(ski).

 

[Ecker]

"Extreme Pretty House Tat" We follow the search for the tackiest bit of formed mdf which spells something out and
is painted in a Farrow and Ball colour. Something like the beautiful: DEFECATE in eau de nil to hang above
yer lavvy.

 

[Gramaisc]

Strictly Pro-Celebrity Boxing - Pilot episode with Vitali Klitschko versus Jeremy Vine.

Ready, Steady, Animal Hospital - non-surviving patients are transformed into a series of exotic meals.

 

[Ecker]

"Polute the Country" Contestants compete to see who has the furthest distance to drive into work after moving
into the house of their dreams in a beautiful part of the UK instead of staying in Croydon.

 

[Gramaisc]

Countdown - a special programme for the elderly to watch as they slowly approach death.

This one may already have been thought of..

 

[andy w]

'Crap in the Attic' a more honest description of the programme.
'A Place in the Drizzle' a less inspirational property programme.