Give us a joke... go on it might be funny :)

Withnail

Withnail

Well-Known Forumite
BobClay said:
I can see why you're depressed. Perhaps a good job you never went to sea.

Having to explain this is sad. The nurse hasn't yet opened the box. The cat is neither alive or dead, but in an undetermined state and will be so until observed and the wave function collapses. At this point she is giving the owner a progress report, which is that the cat is both dead and alive until the box is opened.

But humour is beyond quantum mechanics, some find it funny, some don't. Even the wave function struggles with that one.

Congratulations on killing a funny cartoon, although I suspect it won't be dead, even if it's never alive.
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Inona vaovao?

Tsy misy vaovao!

It just doesn't work - it doesn't reflect the core concept of the thought experiment, just reduces it ad absurdum. And not in a good way.

And yes, i am this much fun at parties.

And no, i'm not depressed. Unhappy, yes, but depression is something different.
 
BobClay

BobClay

Well-Known Forumite
OK, to take it all the way to absurdity … the thought experiment wasn't really anything to do with a bloody cat. The core of it was the device which is designed to kill the cat, based on a completely unpredictable (other than statistically for a large number of such devices) decay of a sub-atomic particle. If the particle decays, this triggers a cat killing mechanism. In a sealed none observable environment the Copenhagen viewpoint is that the particle could be in a state of quantum superposition, having both decayed and not decayed. Schrodinger was unhappy with this and his thought experiment was designed to point out a flaw in the argument.
None the less, applying quantum superposition to something the size of a cat (which consists of billions upon trillions and then some of particles) is the flaw in Schrodinger's argument. But in all fairness, in physics the interpretations of Quantum Mechanics is still being argued about a century or more after it all kicked off.

Many simply adopt the attitude of 'shut up and calculate' because the fact is, Quantum Mechanics gives definite results.

What I can state, with absolute certainty (EAT YER HEART OUT HEISENBERG) is that this joke is now deader than a cat that has been run over by a Tiger Tank. :o:P

To borrow some from the gospel according to Monty Python:

It is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! Its metabolic processes are now history! It's off the twig! It's kicked the bucket, It's shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding choir invisible!!
 
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BobClay

BobClay

Well-Known Forumite
OK Carole I'll do another physics joke on the same lines.
A physicist working at the Fermi Lab is going home when he's pulled over by a cop who regards the long haired unkempt beard (physicists are a bit like that) as indications of a possible drug user. The cop tells him to stay in the car but to pop the lid on the trunk so he can search it. The cop doesn't find anything in the trunk but a dead cat. He returns to the driver and says: "It seems in order sir, but do you know you have a dead cat in your trunk."

"I do now …" replies the physicist.

ARF ARF :heyhey:

( I can't help but think I'm flogging a dead cat here … :yay:)
 
Gramaisc

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
I liked Frankie Boyle's comment about the possibility of the Large Hadron Collider forming a Black Hole and sucking in the whole of our reality.

As the totality of our existence shimmered away into nothingness, a sign would pop up, saying "Level 2".
 
BobClay

BobClay

Well-Known Forumite
Richard Feynman, Nobel Prize winning Quantum Physicist once said: "Nobody really understands Quantum Mechanics." Einstein never really accepted it until the day he died (the wonderful irony being he got his Nobel Prize not for his theories of Relativity, but for a paper he wrote on the Photoelectric Effect, which played some part in kick starting Quantum Physics.)

So I guess Feynman and Einstein would have bombed these jokes out as well. :teef:
 
BobClay

BobClay

Well-Known Forumite
Gramaisc said:
I liked Frankie Boyle's comment about the possibility of the Large Hadron Collider forming a Black Hole and sucking in the whole of our reality.

As the totality of our existence shimmered away into nothingness, a sign would pop up, saying "Level 2".
Click to expand...

I find a bottle of black rum is truly excellent at sucking out the whole of reality.
 
BobClay

BobClay

Well-Known Forumite
blackhole.jpg


:buddy:
 
BobClay

BobClay

Well-Known Forumite
Noah said:
There are now doubts about that.
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Some may remember an annual publication called "Pears Encyclopaedia." I'm not sure if it is still going, but it used to have a whole section on beliefs and philosophies back in the day. I well remember a day in the 70's when I was sitting on watch contemplating a problem I was having with a viscerally nasty piece of equipment. It had to be put right, but I was running out of ideas. For some reason I started reading through this section in the Pears, perhaps seeking inspiration via desperation. Sometimes if your having a problem, it's not a bad idea to step away from it and do something else.

I eventually came across an entry entitled 'Pyrrhonism.' It had a one line explanation, which for that section in the book, was very laconic, just six words.

"A sceptical philosophy that doubts everything."

The more I read that, the more I realised I was at home. :buddy:

PS: (The thing got fixed, although Pyrrho didn't have that much to do with it. But sometimes you have to break the loop, and fly off at a tangent. I can only say this has worked for me a number of times.)​
 
Glam

Glam

Mad Cat Woman
A new woman joins a Golf Club. When she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?"

No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot. Finally, one man says. "Okay, but we start at 6:30 a.m." He figures the early tee-time will discourage her.

The woman says this may be a problem, and asks if she can be up to 15 minutes late.

They roll their eyes, but say, "Okay." She's there at 6:30 a.m. sharp, and beats all of them with an eye-opening 2-under par round. She's fun and pleasant, and the guys are impressed. They congratulate her and invite her back the next week. She smiles, and says, "I'll be there at
6:30 or 6:45."

The next week she again shows up at 6:30 sharp. Only this time, she plays left-handed. The three guys are incredulous as she still beats them with an even par round, despite playing with her off-hand. They're totally amazed. They can't figure her out. She's very pleasant and a gracious winner. They invite her back again, but each man harbours a burning desire to beat her.

The third week, she's 15 minutes late, which irritates the guys. This week she plays right-handed, and narrowly beats all three of them. The men grumble that her late arrival is petty gamesmanship on her part. However, she's so charming and complimentary of their strong
play, they can't hold a grudge.

This woman is a riddle no one can figure out. They have a couple of beers in the Clubhouse, and finally, one of the men asks her, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?"

The lady blushes, and grins. "When my Dad taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous," she replies. "I like to switch back and forth."

"When I got married after college, I discovered my husband always sleeps in the nude. From then on, I developed a silly habit. Right before I leave in the morning for golf practice, I pull the covers off him. If his willie points to the right, I golf right-handed; if it points to the left, I golf left-handed."

The guys think this is hysterical. Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys says, "What if it's pointing straight up?"

She says, "Then, I'm fifteen minutes late."
 
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