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Discussion in 'General Chat' started by BBC, Oct 3, 2006.
Get a life, boy.
Boris Johnson gets lost, whilst travelling in a hot air balloon. After hours wandering aimlessly, he spots a man below him: "Excuse me. Can you tell me where we are? I seem to have lost my way and I promised to meet some friends for dinner."
"You're at 31 degrees, 14.57 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude," he replies.
"You must be a Scientist."
"I am. How did you know?"
"Because everything you told me is technically correct, but the information is useless, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've been no help."
"You must be a Tory."
"Yes. How did you know?"
"You've risen to where you are due to a lot of hot air, you made a promise you couldn't keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."
All this talk of cottage pies has reminded me of, I think, Bob Monkhouse, who said something like:-
"My mother's cottage pie was absolutely authentic - you could actually taste the wallpaper."
The Queen bought Prince Philip a Fox Fur hat for the cold weather...
couple of months later he said to the Queen "here liz i've been invited to a shoot for the weekend near Barnsley"
the Queen said "wear the fox hat phil"...
Phil said " near Bolton i think