-
Welcome to Stafford Forum. Please or sign-up and start posting!
Happy Halloween
- Thread starter Goldilox
- Start date
BobClay
Well-Known Forumite
HALLOWEEN ANNUAL REPORT … (pre Brexit)
Satan sat at the head of the infinitely long table (these meetings do tend to go on a bit) of the annual Post Halloween Sub Committee of the Corporate Demon's Are Us Company and looked down at the rows of uneasy committee members.
"Right, time for the reports," he said, turning to the first demon. "So Sauron ? how did your Halloween go ?"
Sauron was 'old school,' in fact he was getting a bit long in the horn for this business but looked back with his one great eye and replied: "Had a quiet day, managed the mow the lawns, hopefully the last cut of the year."
Satan gleamed red, (not that you'd notice if you think about it) ... "Mow the lawns ? ARE YOU SHITTING ME ?? ..." He stopped and leaned back, thinking of his blood pressure. "Ok Ok," he continued. "I know you're getting on a bit, perhaps it's time for you to settle down, I hear purgatory is in need of a new caretaker, I'll put in a bad word for you."
Satan took a couple of deep breaths and moved onto the next demon. Krakon was one of these younger high flying whiz kid types, polished horns and skin buffed to a deep purple. "Krakon ?"
"I managed to scare a whole bunch of kids in Hartlepool," Krakon replied, slapping his tail on the floor for emphasis.
"Hartlepool ??... FU........!! " Satan held back. He picked up a small bag made out of a human bladder and breathed into it a few times. There was a lot to get through, stay calm, must stay calm he thought.
He turned to Gok. Gok was one of those strange silent types who seemed to look at you and everywhere else at the same time. His eyes were like the eye of a sniper seen from the other end of a telescopic sight, weighing you up, calculating and pitiless. Satan hadn't seen much of Gok lately, he'd been spending all his time in the old library buried down deep in the bowels of damnation.
"Good news from me boss," said Gok. "I've got a new job."
"A new job ? .. what kind of Halloween report is that ? ... what sort of job ?"
"Yours," replied Gok as he leaned forward and flicked Satan's snout with a tiny ampoule. Startled Satan fell back but it was too late, the ampoule shattered and a fiery liquid burst over him, peeling off his skin then rendering him down to a thick glutinous layer on the stone floor of the boardroom. As the light dimmed Satan realised just what Gok had been up to down in that library.
Gok stood up, towering over the other demons, who were all pretending hard that they hadn't seen anything, and wishing they were somewhere else right now (even Hartlepool.)
"As of now we're under new management," Gok stated, a deep slither in his voice. "Next year Halloween is going back to some SERIOUS SHIT."
Satan sat at the head of the infinitely long table (these meetings do tend to go on a bit) of the annual Post Halloween Sub Committee of the Corporate Demon's Are Us Company and looked down at the rows of uneasy committee members.
"Right, time for the reports," he said, turning to the first demon. "So Sauron ? how did your Halloween go ?"
Sauron was 'old school,' in fact he was getting a bit long in the horn for this business but looked back with his one great eye and replied: "Had a quiet day, managed the mow the lawns, hopefully the last cut of the year."
Satan gleamed red, (not that you'd notice if you think about it) ... "Mow the lawns ? ARE YOU SHITTING ME ?? ..." He stopped and leaned back, thinking of his blood pressure. "Ok Ok," he continued. "I know you're getting on a bit, perhaps it's time for you to settle down, I hear purgatory is in need of a new caretaker, I'll put in a bad word for you."
Satan took a couple of deep breaths and moved onto the next demon. Krakon was one of these younger high flying whiz kid types, polished horns and skin buffed to a deep purple. "Krakon ?"
"I managed to scare a whole bunch of kids in Hartlepool," Krakon replied, slapping his tail on the floor for emphasis.
"Hartlepool ??... FU........!! " Satan held back. He picked up a small bag made out of a human bladder and breathed into it a few times. There was a lot to get through, stay calm, must stay calm he thought.
He turned to Gok. Gok was one of those strange silent types who seemed to look at you and everywhere else at the same time. His eyes were like the eye of a sniper seen from the other end of a telescopic sight, weighing you up, calculating and pitiless. Satan hadn't seen much of Gok lately, he'd been spending all his time in the old library buried down deep in the bowels of damnation.
"Good news from me boss," said Gok. "I've got a new job."
"A new job ? .. what kind of Halloween report is that ? ... what sort of job ?"
"Yours," replied Gok as he leaned forward and flicked Satan's snout with a tiny ampoule. Startled Satan fell back but it was too late, the ampoule shattered and a fiery liquid burst over him, peeling off his skin then rendering him down to a thick glutinous layer on the stone floor of the boardroom. As the light dimmed Satan realised just what Gok had been up to down in that library.
Gok stood up, towering over the other demons, who were all pretending hard that they hadn't seen anything, and wishing they were somewhere else right now (even Hartlepool.)
"As of now we're under new management," Gok stated, a deep slither in his voice. "Next year Halloween is going back to some SERIOUS SHIT."