Poor treatment of daughter at college...

[Gadget]

I'm beside myself at the moment. You've seen me post about Eldest Spawn's problems and struggle with her mental health, so you can appreciate how much work she has put in to actually getting accepted onto her college course and even more getting herself there and back each day.

Today was her 2nd time in the kitchen, at 10:30am ( it's a 9am start) She calls me, breaking her heart. Her tutor has pulled her to one side and told her she is considering pulling her from the course as she is worried about Spawn's confidence with her knives etc. It's only her 2nd time and barely an hour into that! What the hell are they there for if not to train her how to use them??? There were no pre-requisites for the course, she passed both of her assessments with them, she had 3 meetings with them and they have had the full report of her history and needs and they were more than happy to accept her onto the course.
I'm terrified that a years worth of therapy and progress is about to get flushed down the toilet or worse destroy her mental health to a scary point.
I'm waiting for her to find out exactly what the hell is going on, I've advised her to stand up and fight for her right to be given a chance on that course. Then if necessary I'm going over there guns blazing and I'll scream discrimination if I have to. She deserves at least a chance to prove or indeed disprove that she can do the course. We've got £160 worth of uniform and equipment they've let us buy so it's rather a pee take if they had no intention of giving her a chance!

 

[markpa12003]

Fingers crossed the college sees sense. I have no idea how they can make a judgement about your daughter in such a short space of time. Hopefully, common sense will prevail and your daughter will be given the tuition she deserves.

 

[Carole]

if it was my daughter I would go in ..not guns blazing but calmly ask to speak to the teacher and find out why they said what they said.

I would then explain the circumstances behind your daughters situation and clarify if they are aware of her needs.

If the situation doesnt change I would then ask to speak to the college principal.

I would advise agaist screaming of any kind, discrimination or otherwise as this is not going to help your daughter.

He actually sounds like he is in the wrong job if he cant coach a student properly.
Hope you get it sorted.

 

[My Name is URL]

Does seem incredibly strange that an hour or two into the second day of a college course they would do this. I am a grown man who loves cooking (but rarely does it) and i'm no expert in the use of kitchen knives.

Perhaps wait until your daughter gets home OP and have a chat with her, find out properly what has happened with everyone having a cool head and having reflected on the situation. Depending on that I would be looking to have a meeting yourself with the college tutor (possibly without spawn) and find out their side of the story, indicating your surprise (shock) that they would knock your daughters confidence like that so soon. Hopefully if they can see the whites of your eyes then they might buck their ideas up.

Outside of that, get spawn in the kitchen at home and get her practising non-stop to improve her knife skills.

 

[tek-monkey]

I agree with URL, ask to meet the teacher responsible for a chat. Does she have any learning support?

 

[littleme]

It does seem a very quick decision. Fingers crossed & good luck...

 

[biccies]

I'm not sure whether or not Stafford College has a Students' Union but it may be worth contacting them.

 

[tek-monkey]

I thought Gadgets kids were at Wolverhampton College? If not let me know though and I'll 'have a word'

 

[biccies]

Oh, I just assumed. Ass, me, you, etc.

 

[Gadget]

She has support structures in place yes and her support worker said at the last meeting they would make all staff aware of her. I've not heard anything since I'm really really hoping this is a good sign.
The guns blazing and screaming were kind of figure of speech. Of course i'm not really going to scream at them and I know perfectly well that calm discourse gets you a lot further than ranting and raving. However calmly I may discuss this with them I will still be angry as I think I have every right to be given what's at stake.
Fingers crossed that Spawn has managed to convince them to keep her on by herself. I think she'll be home in about an hour.

 

[Gadget]

She's gone to Walsall.

 

[Gramaisc]

I'm not sure whether or not Stafford College has a Students' Union but it may be worth contacting them.

I thought Gadgets kids were at Wolverhampton College? If not let me know though and I'll 'have a word'

She's gone to Walsall.

I was only just thinking that people might think this was Stafford College, despite the thread title having 'college' with a lower-case 'c'.

 

[Carole]

The guns blazing and screaming were kind of figure of speech. Of course i'm not really going to scream at them and I know perfectly well that calm discourse gets you a lot further than ranting and raving. .

Ok, apologies but you asked for advice and thats what you said you would do.

I dont know you personally and so I took what you wrote at face value.

 

[proactive]

Most people who say they will go in with all guns blazing etc. are just angry and using a figure of speech and wouldn't do such a thing when it came it. However some really would, which would be totally the wrong thing to do. So it's worth saying so, even if only for the benefit of someone who comes across this thread later on looking for help in similar circumstances.

 

[Gadget]

Spoken to Spawn now she's home and it looks like it is boiling down to basic discrimination and plain ignorance! They are using her history as an excuse to be 'uncomfortable' with her using knives. Spawns history has nothing to do with either knives or any sort of danger to others. They knew all about this before they even offered her the course.
I'm going to make an appointment with her tutor so she can explain herself to me and I can put them straight on any daft notions they might have. In the mean time they have given her a few weeks to 'see how she goes' in other words they are applying pressure. I'm getting her to join the NUS next week in case we need them.

 

[proactive]

Spoken to Spawn now she's home and it looks like it is boiling down to basic discrimination and plain ignorance! They are using her history as an excuse to be 'uncomfortable' with her using knives. Spawns history has nothing to do with either knives or any sort of danger to others. They knew all about this before they even offered her the course.
I'm going to make an appointment with her tutor so she can explain herself to me and I can put them straight on any daft notions they might have. In the mean time they have given her a few weeks to 'see how she goes' in other words they are applying pressure. I'm getting her to join the NUS next week in case we need them.

I would go in to see the tutor with a view to clearing up any 'misunderstanding' there may have been but if the gentle approach gets you nowhere make it clear that your next stop will be the principal. I would also take along a 'friend' in case there is a need for a witness to anything agreed in your conversation or, if necessary, to take notes on what is going on.

 

[tek-monkey]

Install a voice recorder on your phone, can't see a reason for them to object.

 

[My Name is URL]

Just remember Gadget to go in with an open mind and listen to the tutor's point of view. Was thining about this overnight and thought perhaps there was a reason the college tutor did what she did - perhaps spawn wasn't concentrating in class or was messing with other kids and so the tutor just said that as a "kick up the arse" comment rather than actually meaning it.

 

[staffordjas]

Hope you can get it sorted soon Gadget, what a horrible start for your daughter and a worrying time for you.

(I've been all for going in with all guns blazing to schools school myself in the past, but hubby has stopped me. Instead I've got better results by going straight to the top )

 

[kyoto49]

I once went in to my daughters school all guns blazing only to find that the story I'd heard had been selectively repeated!!! Made a right dick of myself . Was a valuable lesson...........