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Rather Than Twiddle Your Thumbs, Write A Poem...

Discussion in 'Entertainment' started by poetsbumcheeks, Nov 23, 2006.

  1. poetsbumcheeks

    poetsbumcheeks Well-Known Forumite

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    Stafford Forums Very Own Poets Corner;

    We accept all forms of linguistical skills from prose, to iambic pentameter all the way to written rap cos we is down with the kids innit...and because we can't stop you from posting anyways...

    Love poetsbumcheeks (aka WB Yeats). x

    THERE WILL BE PRIZES FOR;

    1) The Most Pretentious Piece
    2) The Monty Python 'Silly Person' Most Silliest Piece.
    3) The Most 'Street' or 'Urban' If You Like Piece.





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  3. poetsbumcheeks

    poetsbumcheeks Well-Known Forumite

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    The TV is Talking to the Nation



    The Television is talking to the nation,

    Our one supply of 'real' information,

    Turn over from the news,

    We know our own views,

    We say; as we pick our favourite actor,

    And cast a vote for another disposable talent on X-Factor.



    The Television is talking to the nation,

    We rise as one in a standing ovation,

    To applaud the bored,

    The desperate and needy,

    Give away wonderment all too freely,

    But life a through a lense, it doesn't last,

    We wipe our arse on yesterday's trash.



    The Television is talking to the nation,

    Creating endless banal conversation,

    Politicians have become just talking heads,

    "He had a nice smile we didn't know what he meant."

    Success no longer about shared vision,

    Policies Hah! He was on television.



    The Television was meant to herald a new world order,

    Seems like all it inspired was Attention Deficit Disorder,

    The next generation, concentration spans like gnats,

    With a lust for fame but got too fat,

    Somewhere lurking the deep fried American dream,

    But even they've forgotten, what it's supposed to mean.
     
  4. poetsbumcheeks

    poetsbumcheeks Well-Known Forumite

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    bAZ



    Baz decided that he loved her,

    And that he would romantically propose.

    She was such a filthy bitch in a bed,

    It's such a shame for bAZ;

    That everybody knows
     
  5. TENSHON

    TENSHON 4000th post? Whatever, I'm nonchalant..

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    this is excellent.
     
  6. TENSHON

    TENSHON 4000th post? Whatever, I'm nonchalant..

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    Oh look
    A glimpse of thigh
    As her legs cross
    Young girls
    Hipster clad
    Showing thongs
    Fail to titillate
    But the young woman
    In the lemon dress
    Illuminated in the sunlight’s shaft
    Excites the senses
    A well-endowed Philly
    On an adjacent table
    Leans forward suddenly
    And her breasts
    Rearrange themselves
    Delightfully
    I feel no shame
    As I view
    A curvaceous beauty
    A shapely leg
    Or well-sculptured ankle
    Pert well formed buttocks
    Plump or perky breasts
    But nothing tarty or vampish
    No bare midriffs
    Or obscenely short skirts
    Less is more
    I feel no shame
    For letching
    Where’s the sin
    In looking
    They are god’s creation
    Well packaged
    Why would he
    Give us such delicacies
    If he intended us not to look
    So where’s the sin
    Even if I am the vicar
     
  7. victoriab

    victoriab victoriaboyle.co.uk

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    Mary had a little watch she swallowed it one day
    Then she took some senna pods to pass the time away
    The senna pods they didn't work the time it didn't pass
    So if you want to know the time just look up there to the church clock


    Mary had a little lamb she put it in a bucket
    Every time the lamb escaped the bulldog tried to put it back again.


    Mary had a little lamb she also had a bear
    I've often seen her little lamb but I've never seen her bare



    Unfortunately I can't take credit for these.
     
  8. BBC

    BBC You knows it

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    Very good!

    Right then the poetic gauntlet has been thrown down by our new user. Welcome bumcheeks :)

    I shall commence fordthwith to try and create a verse or two of my own!
     
  9. poetsbumcheeks

    poetsbumcheeks Well-Known Forumite

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    tenshon i salute you...
    amen to farking that!
     
  10. Andreas Rex

    Andreas Rex Banned for smiling

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    forthwidth lol. if you're gonna add random Ds, surely you could have put fordthwith!?
     
  11. db

    db #chaplife

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    lol whilst these lack the depth and chin-stroke appeal of the others, they definitely win so far for me :rofl:
     
  12. poetsbumcheeks

    poetsbumcheeks Well-Known Forumite

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    some prose i suppose...

    Who the F**k Are ya?

    ...who the feck am i? Who the feck are you? the eternal question of philosophers, psychologists, therapists, sages and fuckwits the world over for more than a thousand years...have we got any closer to this answer?...Mr Jones knows he is an accountant, his wife; the lovely Mrs Jones, knows she works part-time in a flower shop...not full-time on account of her bad hip (she's waiting for an operation)...the two of them with this insightful knowledge are utterly convinced that they are most unlike Craig and Tracy Stubbs two streets away because Tracy is a full-time cleaner and Craig is unemployed (Mrs Jones always sees him in his garden at lunchtime because she finishes at 12.30pm) and Craig and Tracy swear a lot....the Stubbs's next door neighbour is Major Thompstone an old WW2 veteran....Tracy knows she rather likes the lovely old man but Craig knows differently...the Major suffers from poor hearing due to the exposure of his aging ear drums to so much gun-fire in the 'prime of his life'(so the Stubbs's swearing goes over his head), yet he still has a strong penchant for old military music...which he plays very loudly during the day while Tracy is out at work...the reason it drives Craig mad is because he suffers from perpetual migraines that keep him out of work...sometimes the Major goes for coffee at Mrs Jones house on a Sunday morning where he will often chat to Mr Jones about the Cricket...both of them feel Cricket is a Gentleman's game and they draw comfort from this knowing themselves to be somewhat 'Gentlemen' by association...however Mr Hardy next door, a male nurse regularly describes Mr Jones as an 'ignorant wanker' to all and sundry due to his continuous use of more than his allotted car parking spaces (Mr Jones has 3 cars, Mr Hardy has a Mini)....Mr Hardy knows damn well that he would never be so rude and arrogant because his Mother brought him up to learn respect for others....the Major often publicly ridicules Mr Hardy because he is a male nurse, though only behind his back... Mr Hardy is also close friends with Ruth, who lives opposite him they get on very well; primarily due a to shared interest in Sado-Masochism and the fact that Ruth's got her own gimp suit...Ruth's husband knows precisely feck all.....
     
  13. BBC

    BBC You knows it

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    Glad i don't live on that street!
     
  14. db

    db #chaplife

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    lol i like the way you censored the "feck" in the title of the piece, then didn't bother for the remainder..

    do you have tourettes, or are you one of these nu wave composers who like try to "shock" people with rude words? ;)
     
  15. poetsbumcheeks

    poetsbumcheeks Well-Known Forumite

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    haha think i'm probably just inconsistent...

    you know like maybe...

    nah i don't know actually....

    :)
     
  16. poetsbumcheeks

    poetsbumcheeks Well-Known Forumite

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    no i remember now, it was cos i thought maybe people who don't like swearing wouldn't read it without the censoring in the title...then i'd reel them in ...and say chuff...shit i mean c**t...
     
  17. Anders_Panders

    Anders_Panders Official 6000th poster!

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    pies are yummy
    in my tummy
    the more i eat
    the bigger my bummy
     
  18. poetsbumcheeks

    poetsbumcheeks Well-Known Forumite

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    certainly a candidate for 'The Monty Python 'Silly Person' Most Silliest Piece.'
    well done panders old chap!
     
  19. Anders_Panders

    Anders_Panders Official 6000th poster!

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    I'm a young lady if u don't mind!
     
  20. poetsbumcheeks

    poetsbumcheeks Well-Known Forumite

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    sorry anders,

    can't tell with all these androgynous names and anonymous profiles...

    perhaps the cuddly panda should have given it away...

    me not knows...

    not that the panda is particularly cuddly...buy hey...
     
  21. jimbob23

    jimbob23 Official 1000th poster

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    Well, you say "young"...
     

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