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Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
I am being offered a copy of the book You Are Not Helpless Against Temptation - at a very special price.

I have decided not to buy it, and that probably means that I don't need it anyway.
 

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
Facebook has just decided that I should become friends with someone.

Presumably, this is because references to his profile have become quite 'active' recently amongst other people who are also associated with him.

The reason for that activity is largely because he died two weeks ago.
 

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
I'm being offered Dynamic Door Solutions - for all my physical security needs.

All of them. Not just some.

And surely all doors are dynamic? If it doesn't move, it's not a door, it's a wall.
 

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
I am being urged to do my washing, outdoors, round the back of a petrol station in Great Barr.

This does not seem to be a great improvement on my current arrangements.
 

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
Ha ha - it is presumably this post that has caused me to be offered the means to contact young ladies in the Bristol area, with a view to some photographic activities?
 

Noah

Well-Known Forumite
jTxtiUG.png
 

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
I'm being offered a book that will explain How You Can Bring Your Church Back To Life.


I might wait until next Easter.
 

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
ebay thinks that I might want a £500 stainless steel windlass for raising the anchor that I don't have on the boat that I also don't have.

Sometimes, there can be tenuous reasonings behind these suggestions, but this just seems a bit weird.
 

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
Facebook has just declared that it has "found concerts and musical events near you" - on investigation, there turned out to only be a single event, which, upon further investigation, turned out to be in Sapporo, Japan, and was somebody playing a piano in the street.
 

Tilly

Well-Known Forumite
Now i've got 'the largest cosmetic surgery hospital in Europe' on my case.

Perhaps we could ask them to graft a Moonie on to a Mormon and observe them over the course of a week or so to see how 'Unified' they are at the end of the project?

 

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
I presume that this -

There are a lot of words like that - smart, intuitive, user-friendly, organic, interactive, intelligent, etc., that usually indicate that you are about to be confronted by over-hyped, slap-dash, careless indifference.

- is what has caused me to be offered a 'smart' toilet. It costs between £1,500 and £1,800 - I would expect it to do the crossword for me for that.


The idea of being able to confiscate the remote and introduce a 'fun event' to an unsuspecting user's experience does seem strangely attractive, though.
 

proactive

Enjoying a drop of red.
I presume that this -



- is what has caused me to be offered a 'smart' toilet. It costs between £1,500 and £1,800 - I would expect it to do the crossword for me for that.


The idea of being able to confiscate the remote and introduce a 'fun event' to an unsuspecting user's experience does seem strangely attractive, though.
Shite.
 

Thehooperman

Well-Known Forumite
I presume that this -



- is what has caused me to be offered a 'smart' toilet. It costs between £1,500 and £1,800 - I would expect it to do the crossword for me for that.


The idea of being able to confiscate the remote and introduce a 'fun event' to an unsuspecting user's experience does seem strangely attractive, though.

Is it taking the pee?
 
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