AA Silencers - Automotive garage & repairs in Stafford
  1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Welcome to Stafford Forum. Please or sign-up and start posting!

The Forum's Favourite Poems

Discussion in 'Entertainment' started by Withnail, Apr 25, 2010.

  1. proactive

    proactive Behind you with a big stick!

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2010
    Messages:
    13,630
    Likes Received:
    8,056
    Which brings us neatly to this.


     
    Noah and BobClay like this.
  2. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2016
    Messages:
    1,524
    Likes Received:
    1,922
    Absolutely. One of my favourites …. :haw:
     
  3. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2016
    Messages:
    1,524
    Likes Received:
    1,922
    I must be really sad. :urgh:

    I kept stopping the video in order to count the elements Tom Lehrer sang. I made it 102, but I haven't rechecked that (once was enough. :eek:)

    My periodic table bottles out at 116, it's a few years old now. I believe they're up to 118 these days with an element called Oganesson, which lasts for a fraction of a second before it breaks down … :q:

    ♫ … and with Oganesson,
    I've learned my lesson. ♪

    Right, now I'll retire to my study and spend the rest of my weekend memorising the first 50 digits on PI. (There may well be the sound of a pistol shot :blah:.)

    :lorks:
     
  4. Noah

    Noah Well-Known Forumite

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2012
    Messages:
    2,836
    Likes Received:
    1,552
    So do I, the highest one he reaches is nobelium. Written in 1959 so nothing above nobelium discovered at that stage.
     
  5. Withnail

    Withnail Well-Known Forumite

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2010
    Messages:
    16,880
    Likes Received:
    5,113
    It is arguable that the lyric is poetic.

    I would argue that it isn't.

    Poesy and Lyricism part somewhere.

    Where?

    Why that's a good question.
     
  6. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2016
    Messages:
    1,524
    Likes Received:
    1,922
    ODE TO A SNAKE

    Hey, you lot, I want to put something right. I've been the subject of really bad press, I and my compatriots have picked up the bill for YOUR failings and a mighty big bill it was too ... how is that fair ?

    I was in the garden, minding my own business, you know? ... having a bit of a slither, when I hear them having yet another ding-dong, screaming and shouting as usual, so I slithered across to ask if there was any chance of a bit of peace and quiet ... I mean ... PLEASE ... this was the Garden of Eden.

    Eve was tearing a strip off Adam with a voice that could have cut through tungsten, boy has she got a mouth on her, and Adam was standing there as limp as a wet lettuce leaf (which is about all that he was wearing I might add, not a pretty sight to a reptile,) but then he never was the brightest marble in the bag.

    Well nothing I could hiss was going to stop this so I plucked an apple off a tree and offered it to Eve, in the hope it would shut her up for five minutes … and man … did the shit hit the fan then ?

    How the hell was I to know it was the tree of knowledge ? …. ya think the big cheese upstairs could have planted it somewhere safe instead of in the middle of a bunch of runner bean plants … oh yeah … and Eve squirmed out of the blame by giving Adam a bight of the apple then laying the whole deal on me … it’s enough to make a fellah shed his skin so it is.
     
  7. Glam

    Glam Mad Cat Woman

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2010
    Messages:
    7,662
    Likes Received:
    3,735
    “She asks me to kill the spider.
    Instead, I get the most
    peaceful weapons I can find.

    I take a cup and a napkin.
    I catch the spider, put it outside
    and allow it to walk away.

    If I am ever caught in the wrong place
    at the wrong time, just being alive
    and not bothering anyone,

    I hope I am greeted
    with the same kind
    of mercy.”


    ― Rudy Francisco
     
    BobClay likes this.
  8. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2016
    Messages:
    1,524
    Likes Received:
    1,922
    My Mum used to call spiders 'little housekeepers.' (Well she was Irish, born and bred on a hill farm.)

    She explained to me they kill flies, and munch them up. (Although they do have a bad habit of wrapping them up and storing them under the settee in case there's an apocalypse or something.)

    After that they got my vote.

    Ok, you might ask, what have flies done to me ?

    They land on the TV screen while I'm watching 'Line of Duty.'

    For that: Death Becomes Them. :strange:
     
    Glam and Trumpet like this.
  9. Glam

    Glam Mad Cat Woman

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2010
    Messages:
    7,662
    Likes Received:
    3,735
    The Last Bee.

    After the last ee
    had uzzed its last uzz,

    The irds and the utterflies
    Did what they could.

    ut soon the fields lay are,
    Few flowers were left.

    Nature was roken,
    And the planet ereft.

    rian ilston.
     
    BobClay and Gramaisc like this.
  10. Glam

    Glam Mad Cat Woman

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2010
    Messages:
    7,662
    Likes Received:
    3,735
    Remember the Fallen - D Day.

    The sand in their boots wasn't English,
    Nor the water that lapped on the shore.
    They ran and they swam onto beaches in France,
    Not really knowing what for.

    The Allied invasion of Europe,
    With ''Liberation'' the Clarion call.
    Those who were chosen by fate to survive,
    And those who were chosen to fall.

    Gunfire and shell all around them,
    Frightened and Frozen and Lost.
    While we remember the glory of D-Day
    We must also remember the cost.

    Wave after wave of young warrior,
    Heroes, each one, to a man.
    Lambs to the slaughter, in freezing cold water,
    Remember them now while we can.

    Chris Ross 2019©
     
    Noah and perry081064 like this.
  11. Glam

    Glam Mad Cat Woman

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2010
    Messages:
    7,662
    Likes Received:
    3,735
    Fathers Day

    I thought about my Dad today,
    there's nothing wrong in that,
    I thougth I'd like to ring him up,
    and maybe have a chat.
    To wish him Happy Fathers Day
    and talk about the weather.
    And maybe even make a meet,
    and share a beer together.

    But they don't have phones where he is,
    so I'll put this note on here,
    They don't have Twitter either,
    but I want to make it clear.
    Althought you're not here with us Dad,
    It never goes away.
    I love you as I always did so.
    Happy Fathers Day xx

    Chris Ross 2019©
     
    age'd parent and Thehooperman like this.
  12. Noah

    Noah Well-Known Forumite

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2012
    Messages:
    2,836
    Likes Received:
    1,552
    Pockets

    Penknife,
    Pencil,
    Seven bits of string,
    Nails and
    Marbles
    A photo of the King,
    Regimental
    Buttons,
    An unused foreign stamp,
    Two little
    Screw ends,
    From a motor lamp,
    A cork and
    A farthing,
    A penny with a hole,
    Paper clips and
    Crayons,
    And a shiny bit of coal.
    Pockets in my jersey,
    My trousers and my coat -
    Could I be any richer
    In a castle with a moat.

    Isabel M Laud?
     
    Glam likes this.
  13. Glam

    Glam Mad Cat Woman

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2010
    Messages:
    7,662
    Likes Received:
    3,735
    When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid,
    And bring so much happiness just as they did.
    I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.
    Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!
    When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.

    I'll write on the walls with reds, whites and blues,
    And I'll bounce on the furniture wearing my shoes.
    I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.
    I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!
    When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.

    When they're on the phone and just out of reach,
    I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.
    Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,
    When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.

    When they cook dinner and call me to eat,
    I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,
    I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,
    And when they get angry I'll run if I'm able!
    When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.

    I'll sit close to the TV, through channels I'll click,
    I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.
    I'll take off my socks and throw one away,
    And play in the mud 'til the end of the day!
    When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.

    And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,
    I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.
    My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,
    And say with a groan, "She's so sweet when she's sleeping!"

    By Joanne Bailey Baxte
     
  14. Glam

    Glam Mad Cat Woman

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2010
    Messages:
    7,662
    Likes Received:
    3,735
    Back in the days of tanners and bobs,
    When Mothers had patience and Fathers had jobs.
    When football team families wore hand me down shoes,
    And T.V gave on...ly two channels to choose.

    Back in the days of three penny bits,
    when schools employed nurses to search for your nits.
    When snowballs were harmless; ice slides were permitted
    and all of your jumpers were warm and hand knitted.


    Back in the days of hot ginger beers,
    when children remained so for more than six years.
    When children respected what older folks said,
    and pot was a thing you kept under your bed.


    Back in the days of Listen with Mother,
    when neighbours were friendly and talked to each other.
    When cars were so rare you could play in the street.
    When Doctors made house calls and Police walked the beat.


    Back in the days of Milligan's Goons,
    when butter was butter and songs all had tunes.
    It was dumplings for dinner and trifle for tea,
    and your annual break was a day by the sea.


    Back in the days of Dixon's Dock Green,
    Crackerjack pens and Lyons ice cream.
    When children could freely wear National Health glasses,
    and teachers all stood at the FRONT of their classes.


    Back in the days of rocking and reeling,
    when mobiles were things that you hung from the ceiling. When woodwork and pottery got taught in schools,
    and everyone dreamed of a win on the pools.


    Back in the days when I was a lad,
    I can't help but smile for the fun that I had.
    Hopscotch and roller skates; snowballs to lob.
    Back in the days of tanners and bobs.

    By David Filmer
     
  15. Withnail

    Withnail Well-Known Forumite

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2010
    Messages:
    16,880
    Likes Received:
    5,113
    That is exactly how Brexit started.

    Bullshit and bluster -

    'When Mothers had patience and Fathers had jobs' - where to even start, let this speak for itself

    'When football team families wore hand me down shoes,' - what does this even mean? Nothing at all, that's what.

    'And T.V gave only two channels to choose' - this is some sort of benefit? Something we all unequivocally miss?

    'When schools employed nurses to search for your nits.' - and what did they do else, was this a good use of school finance?

    'When children respected what older folks said,' - like "don't tell your mum, it's our little secret"?

    '... and your annual break was a day by the sea.' - which before the Blue Flag push from the EU would have been a toxic wasteland.

    'Back in the days of Dixon's Dock Green' - the Guildford Four and the Birmingham Six (teen)

    'When children could freely wear National Health glasses,
    and teachers all stood at the FRONT of their classes.' - to conflate it...

    Remember the Teachers that were National Front,
    Be glad that you weren't black, and dealt with those cun...

    'and everyone dreamed of a win on the pools.' - almost like a win on the Lottery is indistinguishable from...

    ' Back in the days when I was a lad,
    I can't help but smile for the fun that I had. ' - but that's just it, isn't it? It's almost like the time in your life when you had least invested is the time you celebrate most. Like every feckin' Generation ever. Like you're not actually special. Like you were given every advantage that you now enjoy without realising it was at the expense of others. And now you cling to your unearned wealth as if you shouldn't have died at least twenty years ago and let the rest of us get on with living while you get on with your lingering comfortable death.

    'By David Filmer' - f*ck you David Filmer, if i ever meet you i will eviscerate you with a spoon.
     
  16. Withnail

    Withnail Well-Known Forumite

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2010
    Messages:
    16,880
    Likes Received:
    5,113
    Sunny Prestatyn

    Come To Sunny Prestatyn
    Laughed the girl on the poster,
    Kneeling up on the sand
    In tautened white satin.
    Behind her, a hunk of coast, a
    Hotel with palms
    Seemed to expand from her thighs and
    Spread breast-lifting arms.

    She was slapped up one day in March.
    A couple of weeks, and her face
    Was snaggle-toothed and boss-eyed;
    Huge tits and a fissured crotch
    Were scored well in, and the space
    Between her legs held scrawls
    That set her fairly astride
    A tuberous cock and balls

    Autographed Titch Thomas, while
    Someone had used a knife
    Or something to stab right through
    The moustached lips of her smile.
    She was too good for this life.
    Very soon, a great transverse tear
    Left only a hand and some blue.
    Now Fight Cancer is there.

    PHILIP LARKIN

    p. 1964
     
    Glam likes this.
  17. Glam

    Glam Mad Cat Woman

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2010
    Messages:
    7,662
    Likes Received:
    3,735
    The Fairies.

    Up the airy mountain,
    Down the rushy glen,
    We daren’t go a-hunting
    For fear of little men;
    Wee folk, good folk,
    Trooping all together;
    Green jacket, red cap,
    And white owl’s feather!


    Down along the rocky shore
    Some make their home,
    They live on crispy pancakes
    Of yellow tide-foam;
    Some in the reeds
    Of the black mountain-lake,
    With frogs for their watchdogs,
    All night awake.


    High on the hill-top
    The old King sits;
    He is now so old and grey
    He’s nigh lost his wits.
    With a bridge of white mist
    Columbkill he crosses,
    On his stately journeys
    From Slieveleague to Rosses;
    Or going up with the music
    On cold starry nights,
    To sup with the Queen
    Of the gay Northern Lights.


    They stole little Bridget
    For seven years long;
    When she came down again
    Her friends were all gone.
    They took her lightly back,
    Between the night and morrow,
    They thought that she was fast asleep,
    But she was dead with sorrow.
    They have kept her ever since
    Deep within the lake,
    On a bed of fig-leaves,
    Watching till she wake.


    By the craggy hillside,
    Through the mosses bare,
    They have planted thorn trees
    For my pleasure, here and there.
    Is any man so daring
    As dig them up in spite,
    He shall find their sharpest thorns
    In his bed at night.


    Up the airy mountain,
    Down the rushy glen,
    We daren’t go a-hunting
    For fear of little men;
    Wee folk, good folk,
    Trooping all together;
    Green jacket, red cap,
    And white owl’s feather!




    William Allingham
     
    age'd parent likes this.

Share This Page