Today I Heard.....

[John Marwood]

Just had a lovely letter through the post saying that the penalty charge will be cancelled.

Who pays for the stamp?

 

[1JKz]

Over heard at a Cannock car boot sale, a few years back but still tickles me now.

Woman in drivers seat: i car park this car i car.

bless.

 

[Gramaisc]

..."It just irritates me when people don't stomp them out!" - as she stamped on a still-smoking fag-end in Church Lane and walked on...

It seemed to me that the amount of litter left behind would have been slightly reduced, if it had been allowed to burn down..

 

[John Marwood]

Over heard at a Cannock car boot sale, a few years back but still tickles me now.

Woman in drivers seat: i car park this car i car.

bless.

You can't park a car at cardiff arms park

 

[1JKz]

You can't park a car at cardiff arms park

i think you'll find it's; yam car park a car at Cardiff arms park arr

 

[Jade-clothing]

On the bus (again)
Lady on the phone - I was lying on my back and I swear I almost swallowed my tongue. Anyway duck I've got to go, I've got a big buffet to make at work and I'm still drunk, need to sober up first.
If anyone has a buffet ordered - worry!

 

[John Marwood]

On the bus (again)
Lady on the phone - I was lying on my back and I swear I almost swallowed my tongue. Anyway duck I've got to go, I've got a big buffet to make at work and I'm still drunk, need to sober up first.
If anyone has a buffet ordered - worry!

I think I need to get on some buses, sounds like good material for script writing. Can you recommend any interesting routes?

 

[Jade-clothing]

I think I need to get on some buses, sounds like good material for script writing. Can you recommend any interesting routes?

Come join me on the number 10 Mr. Marwood - always guaranteed to be a laugh a minute.

 

[John Marwood]

Come join me on the number 10 Mr. Marwood - always guaranteed to be a laugh a minute.

Well, well, the last offer I had was related to a number 2 so I see this as real progess

 

[John Marwood]

Err, where does a number 10 come out of?

 

[Jade-clothing]

Well, well, the last offer I had was related to a number 2 so I see this as real progess

That is absolutely disgusting Mr. Marwood - we didn't need to know that!
No. 10 is Parkside to town.

 

[John Marwood]

That is absolutely disgusting Mr. Marwood - we didn't need to know that!
No. 10 is Parkside to town.

Ahaa, makes sense now, the nonsense, that is

 

[Jade-clothing]

Ahaa, makes sense now, the nonsense, that is

The day your nonsense makes sense is the day I go into town on the number 10 and don't overhear a strange conversation!

 

[That-Crazy-Rat-Lady]

That is absolutely disgusting Mr. Marwood - we didn't need to know that!
No. 10 is Parkside to town.

Don't worry Jade he must be on a roll - he made a pass at me as well today!: http://www.staffordforum.com/xf/index.php?threads/grand-national-2013.11638/#post-185269

Getting quite a reputation for yourself Mr Marwood!

 

[Jade-clothing]

The day your nonsense makes sense is the day I go into town on the number 10 and don't overhear a strange conversation!

Haha He' s a naughty one

 

[Withnail]

... my first chiffchaff of the season.

 

[Gramaisc]

... someone walking very close behind me as I walked up Greengate Street and heavy-breathing in a rather alarming manner - eventually, I turned round to find that it was a Staffie ...

 

[Gramaisc]

.., at the boot sale.

"This wind is unrelentless!"

 

[stoofer34]

Relentless means never ceasing, the word "unrelentless" is often used, but it is not a legitimate English word.
When the word is (mis)used it is intended to mean unceasing.

S

 

[Jade-clothing]

This is really 'Yesterday I heard' but forgot to put it on yesterday...
Over heard in town - 'I was still playing sport right up until the moment I had my foot amputated'