True Stories

[andy w]

I don't know if this has been done before, but I thought there might be some mileage in peoples recollections, experiences etc.
I'll kick off about a wind up in the late 80's. Where I used to work we had a lad, Gary, who was a serial liar, dancing with Linda Nolan,120mph in his car etc, so much so he was nicknamed Billy Bullshiter.
One of his favourites would be to brag how he scored 90 and a ton breaks at snooker. My mate Mick decided to stitch him up and went to long lengths for the wind up. He found the address and phone number of the Assembly Rooms Derby well known for it's links with snooker, and got his girlfriend to type a letter that went something like this -

Dear Gary
I am writing on behalf of Barry Hearn's Matchroom snooker team. We have heard from our scouts that you are consistently hitting over 90 breaks and with so much potential we would like you to come for trials with a view for you to become a professinal with the Matchroom team.
Regards
Miss Smith
Barry Hearn's Personal Assistant

As Mick was going on a union course in Derby he posted the letter their to get the town's post mark. The letter was sent to our works and Mick tipped off the Foreman about the letter coming through the internal mail so when the letter arrived the Foreman handed it over to Gary and him and a few others who knew what was going on quizzed Gary about the contents of the letter. Gary was dumbstruck and red faced and said it was a wind up. Mick then said well why not phone the number and find out. After much conjoling Gary phoned the number 'Hello Assembly Rooms How can I help' Gary threw the phone down and said 'It's them' and stomped off.
Needless to say the bragging was tined down after that

 

[Gramaisc]

When I went to the Poly, quite a few immaculately executed practical jokes were played. It was only revealed to me a few years ago who the instigator was, a very upright member of the academic administrative staff and a less suspicious character would be impossible to imagine. I would never have suspected him, even though he was actually in the room when one of his plans came to fruition and got me. His persona was that of a retired Edwardian diplomat, about whom it was impossible to be suspicious.

One of his better schemes was when he was having his car serviced and came in on the bus. He overheard the girl sitting in front of him telling her friend that she was convinced that her boyfriend would propose to her that day, as it was her birthday. A plan formed immediately. He knew who the boyfriend was and he also knew that Midlands Today were going to arrive to film a preplanned item on the Polytechnic that day. He got a coffee in the canteen and sat close to a lad that he knew was the poor lad's best friend and 'let slip' to an accomplice that the cameras were actually here to film 'some marriage proposal., apparently', hoping that the message would be passed on - it was. The poor lad spent the day panicking and trying to avoid the cameras...

 

[Trumpet]

When I was in my mid teens I worked for a plastering gang in Rugeley and wore an old tweed trilby hat (very stylish) at work. Working on a house in slitting mill one time the couple in the neighpouring just completed house had a dog which had a real 'thing' about men in hats and used to go absolutely bonkers whenver it saw me.
Cutting a long story short. Some years later I found myself standing at the bar next to the above couple in The Prince in Rugeley and got talking to them. I then managed to half convince the woman that I had 'a gift' and could sometimes see things in palms. The chap was obviously very sceptical but I said I would try and demonstrate but couldn't promise anything and then went on to stare at her palm and to say that I was getting something through about a collie type dog but there was something odd about hats that I couldn't put my finger on. I strung this out for a few minutes and then had an 'amazing' vision that the dog didn't like men with hats. The face on her.