Walk into town on a warm summers evening along Sandon Road!!!!!!!!!!!!

[BORO-PIKE]

Have you ever had the pleasure of walking into town from sandon road with your partner/wife other half of any description on a lovely summers eve?
I did a few times before leaving the ford for pastures altogether smoggier and less pleasant,
one of my memories of doing so are been verbally abused by the scummers looking down at you from the gaol?
Top ten insults thrown back are?
At 1 Do your bird cos i'm doing yours!
At 2 Hmm i'm going for a pint.... fancy one..... oh dear you can't!
At 3 (due to the type of wing on crooked bridge road) nonce nonce nonce.
At 4 C'mon then lets ave it!!!!!!
At 5 Who are ya Who are ya
At 6 (Whistling the sweeney tune)

Any others you think might be better put downs for them?

 

[tek-monkey]

I do remember telling some prisoner in great detail what I'd just purchased from the indian takeaway nearby, and how nice it was going to be

 

[Jheych]

I tried leading them in a chorus of

"always look on the bright side of life"

they wouldnt sing!

partypoopers!

 

[MISS T]

I've sang George Michaels 'Freedom' when strolling past, but I always sing that .

 

[gon2seed]

We enter frequently, (Oeer Missus!) in the line of duty and always have to wear full PPE (Personal Protective Clothing) including a helmet with the visor down to avoid being in intimate contact with a bag of piss, or worse, hurled from above!

In reality this has never happened to me, and though visits to fires inside are fraught with tension, I have yet to encounter anything too bad.

Last time I went into one of the blocks they were all milling about playing darts!

The Venerable Mrs Seed used to attend exercise classes at the Dance Studio over the road, and had to resort to entering the building in a mac. Turning up, as she had previously, with her fellow keep fitees, attired in lycra etc', had created an explosion of catcalling whistles, and shouted profanities, the like of which had not been seen since Samantha Fox attempted to make an personal appearance on Scarborough South Beach in 1983, clad only in a mico bikini! I was by chance passing at the time, and looked away ... of course!

 

[TENSHON]

I quite often get W***ER shouted at me. I'm sure it's the same convict.

 

[gon2seed]

Well they reckon 96% of men admit to it, and the other 4% are liars, ... so I guess, ...he's probably right!

PS Tenshon I do not expect confirmation or otherwise, infact I would recommend against it!

 

[TENSHON]

I thought it was 99%?

Does anyone have a witty response for such a slanderous accusation? Something a bit more original than, 'what did you have for breakfast, porridge?'

 

[Mrs M]

I thought it was 99%?

Does anyone have a witty response for such a slanderous accusation? Something a bit more original than, 'what did you have for breakfast, porridge?'

Just call them an evolutionary U-turn and walk away as it will probably take a while to get a response.

 

[gon2seed]

Yes, but your wife helps me out with that activity on Thursdays!
or
True, but I don't have to share the experience with a cellmate!

I am sure there are some funnier ones!

 

[Mrs M]

Or you could say yep, there are two types of people on this street, criminals and wankers and I aint no criminal.

 

[TENSHON]

Yes, but your wife helps me out with that activity on Thursdays!

i like this one best but might edit it slightly...

your mum helps me out with that activity

 

[theflamingred]

The only time this happened to me it was all very civil. Walking home from town late one night one chap shouted, 'Good evening madam.' I stopped in stunned silence. Then another one shouted that I was looking lovely. I thanked him and continued on my way.