Mishearing things.

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
A friend of mine from Portsmouth came up to Dudley some years ago and stayed in a guest-house whilst he did some training as a cinema projectionist.

He struggled to understand the landlady and both of them were getting thoroughly fed up with not being able to get the gist of what was said the first, or even the second time.

On the last day, he came down for breakfast and sat at the table. He heard her come in the door behind him and call him a "shitty shithouse".

Slightly taken aback by this, he was trying to collect his thoughts as his breakfast was placed in front of him - then he realised that she had actually said "Here's your tea and here's your toast".
 

Floss

Well-Known Forumite
Not about mishearing things but mistexting, whilst trying to maintain two text conversations both about others hubbies.....
First conversation an old neighbour had informed me her oh had sadly passed away, second conversation a friend had fallen out with her oh and he had stormed out and gone to the pub, so I text friend and said look on the bright side at least now you can watch what you want on the telly...........except it wasn't my friend I'd text....nooooooooooooooooooo!
 

wmrcomputers

Stafford PC & laptop repair specialist
Peter kay points out quite a few misheard song lyrics in this sketch..... some crack me up

 

Apricot

Well-Known Forumite
A lot of these posts seem to be about the Black Country ...

When I worked in Wednesbury, I often visited the health food shop and one of my favourite things was their bags of dates. One day I visited the health food shop, and as I walked in the lady said to me, 'We haven't got any diets." I thought she must have confused me with someone else who was asking her about diets. So I kept going to the shelf where the dates usually were ... and then the penny dropped.
 

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
Not about mishearing things but mistexting, whilst trying to maintain two text conversations both about others hubbies.....
First conversation an old neighbour had informed me her oh had sadly passed away, second conversation a friend had fallen out with her oh and he had stormed out and gone to the pub, so I text friend and said look on the bright side at least now you can watch what you want on the telly...........except it wasn't my friend I'd text....nooooooooooooooooooo!
In a reverse version of this, a friend of mine died some years ago. He had a small business and had a contract mobile phone on that basis. His wife had an old PAYG phone that was not very reliable. So she decided that she might as well use his...

On the morning of the funeral, when he had been dead for a fortnight, my phone went off - I took it out of my pocket and it told me that he was calling me - it took a few seconds to realise what was really happening.

It must happen a lot, I suppose, but it was quite a shock.
 
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