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Give us a joke... go on it might be funny :)
- Thread starter BBC
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wmrcomputers
Stafford PC & laptop repair specialist
I jumped into a swimming pool without my goggles on, and some kid had just urinated in the water. Turns out I have PPI.
wmrcomputers
Stafford PC & laptop repair specialist
I went to see the doctor today and asked him "Do you treat alcoholics?". He replied "Yes, of course".
.... Well can you take me to the pub and buy me a pint then mate. I'm skint.
.... Well can you take me to the pub and buy me a pint then mate. I'm skint.
Noah
Well-Known Forumite
Inadvertently ?
Gramaisc
Forum O. G.
Airport announcement -
Why not pick up something in Duty Free that will make her look beautiful? 8 cans of Special Brew, now only £12.
https://twitter.com/StansaidAirport/status/1061350656248819712
Why not pick up something in Duty Free that will make her look beautiful? 8 cans of Special Brew, now only £12.
https://twitter.com/StansaidAirport/status/1061350656248819712
Gramaisc
Forum O. G.
If you squint a bit...
BobClay
Well-Known Forumite
A few years ago I was on holiday in Spain and stayed in a nice little inn just south of Madrid.
After a day I caught a bad case of the flu, and after sniffling and coughing and rolling around in the bed, I realised I needed medical attention, so I called down to the desk for help.
“Oh so you're sick,” they replied. “Don't worry, we'll send our very own hotel doctor up to your room right away.”
The doctor strolled into the room within minutes, and whilst I stuttered and tried to comprehend the situation, he gave me some medicine to ease the symptoms. When I finally stammered out: “I didn’t think the hotel would have their own doctor on call?”
He simply shook his head and cracked a smile, then said:
“Nobody expects the Spanish Inn physician.”
After a day I caught a bad case of the flu, and after sniffling and coughing and rolling around in the bed, I realised I needed medical attention, so I called down to the desk for help.
“Oh so you're sick,” they replied. “Don't worry, we'll send our very own hotel doctor up to your room right away.”
The doctor strolled into the room within minutes, and whilst I stuttered and tried to comprehend the situation, he gave me some medicine to ease the symptoms. When I finally stammered out: “I didn’t think the hotel would have their own doctor on call?”
He simply shook his head and cracked a smile, then said:
“Nobody expects the Spanish Inn physician.”
Glam
Mad Cat Woman
The Old Virgin
A woman of 75 years who had never married in her life, had just one ambition. To get married and lose her virginity. She was a wealthy woman with all good things in life at her disposal.
Somehow, she never got around to get married but she wanted to do it now. She had only one condition – she wanted a man who had never done it, just like herself.
She advertised all over the world looking for that perfect match and finally was able to locate a young guy from the Outback in Australia.
They got married, and she took him to her mansion. While she was getting ready for the night, she heard some loud noises from the adjacent room. When she went to the other room to investigate, she found that all the furniture in the room had been moved to the corners.
She asked her new husband,
-“What are you doing, my dear?”
He replied,
-“Darlin, ain't never done it with a woman in my life, but in case it is similar to doing it to a kangaroo, I am gonna need all of the room I can git!”
A woman of 75 years who had never married in her life, had just one ambition. To get married and lose her virginity. She was a wealthy woman with all good things in life at her disposal.
Somehow, she never got around to get married but she wanted to do it now. She had only one condition – she wanted a man who had never done it, just like herself.
She advertised all over the world looking for that perfect match and finally was able to locate a young guy from the Outback in Australia.
They got married, and she took him to her mansion. While she was getting ready for the night, she heard some loud noises from the adjacent room. When she went to the other room to investigate, she found that all the furniture in the room had been moved to the corners.
She asked her new husband,
-“What are you doing, my dear?”
He replied,
-“Darlin, ain't never done it with a woman in my life, but in case it is similar to doing it to a kangaroo, I am gonna need all of the room I can git!”
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Thehooperman
Well-Known Forumite
That's my two Staffies apart from they're female and wear evening gowns when they go out
Thehooperman
Well-Known Forumite
That's my two Staffies apart from they're female and wear evening gowns when they go out
Oh and my name isn't Howard.