The opportunity to win the game was lost, long before the penalties.
It was lost after half time, when England Parked the Bus in the second half and Southgate did nothing in response to all the Italian Pressure except hope Italy weren't going to score off the back of 75% + possession. Everyone could see what was coming in the second half.
Those England Players must have thought they had the trophy in one hand after the first half. Southgate must have told them to put it down and let the Italians try and pick it up.
After that, everything went wrong. Nobody high enough up the field to counterattack, as Kane isn't the quickest over 30 yards and ended up too deep, ( check out who was the last defender trying to keep the ball from crossing the line for Italy's goal...no thought for who might pick the ball up if it was cleared from the corner?) Plus Stirling's lightweight diving antics never had the ref fooled all match... and both had no support from the wingbacks, whom he had dropped into a 5. If that was deliberate, then Rashford (who looked out of form all competition) and Sancho might have been better used as substitute's for Kane and Stirling at that point, for a bit more strength, speed and mobility, combined up front....or possibly for Saka and Stirling if he had to keep Kane on for the possibility of penalties.
Then when Italy scored, after England switched off for the near post corner routine, his masterstroke to wrestle the game back our way...take off Declan Rice and bring on Jordan Henderson...which changed nothing, except remove Rice's direct running and move England to a side to side approach...then he promptly substituted him before the end? He then brings Grealish on for 5 minutes before extra time, possibly 30 minutes late?
Lastly, he nearly misses getting his penalty takers on as substitutes, one of which he plays right back for a minute and both of whom barely get a touch...and we wonder how they didn't have their eye in for the penalties?
Very negative team tactics by Southgate IMHO. He let Italy seize the initiative for 3 quarters of the match. By the time the penalties came about, one side were full of hope, the other already looking back on what might have been... no wonder they weren't impressed with their second place medals?