Mr T Ravenscroft
11 Longlands Rd
New Mills
STOCKPORT
Cheshire
SK12 3BL
31st March 1994
Cyprus Airways
Euston Centre
29/31 Hampstead Road
LONDON
NW1 3JA
Dear Cyprus Airways
I would love to visit Cyprus for a holiday, but unfortunately there is one thing stopping me, for despite my being as British as John Bull himself I look extremely Turkish. I have a swarthy complexion, a dusky olive skin, jet black hair and limpid brown eyes. I also have a thick, droopy moustache which has the effect of making me look even more Turkish than I already look. I could of course shave of my moustache, but unfortunately I have a rather unsightly harelip, and on balance I would rather look Turkish than stupid.
I gather that relations between the Greeks and the Turks are somewhat dodgy to say the least, and quite naturally the last thing that I want whilst holiday is to be hounded and unfairly treated by the indigenous population. There is no doubt whatsoever that I would be mistaken for a Turk as last year my wife and I and three other couples went to Turkey for our holidays, and it was quite noticeable that I was the only one of our party not to be constantly pestered by carpet salesmen. In fact one day when I was browsing in the bazaar a Turkish salesman asked me to mind his stall for a few minutes while he went for a haircut, and I almost sold a carpet to two Germans.
However, and despite the handicap of looking Turkish, I would still like to visit Aphrodite's Isle. Perhaps the situation isn't quite as bad as I have been led to believe, and the hostility felt by Greeks and Turks to each other has been exaggerated? My wife fancies the Paphos area, and if Turk-hating isn't too bad in Paphos I might just be persuaded to risk it. What do you think?
Yours faithfully
T Ravenscroft (Mr)
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The exchange between the letter writer and the company is very funny indeed.
Terry Ravenscroft used to write for Les Dawson, he was responsible for the Cissie & Ada sketches.