Phone Spy App

Bob

Well-Known Forumite
Eldest offspring was doing things with her phone that she shouldn’t so it was confiscated.

She needs it back now she’s back at school and out and about more but I’m not really feeling the trust at the moment. Seen a few adds for apps that monitor internet activity and messages but no real idea what to do or where to start, can anyone advise.

Doesn’t need to be a secret one, I’ve been straight and told her that privacy is a luxury she can afford when she pays the phone bill! It does need to be something she can’t bypass though! Little madam is more teach savy than me, that’s for sure!
 

tek-monkey

wanna see my snake?
Android or apple? What exactly do you want to be able to do? We used to be able to ping step daughters phone and get a location, make it ring us so we could hear what was happening if she wouldn't answer etc. All with a free app, that was android based.
 

Bob

Well-Known Forumite
It’s an iPhone. Just want to make sure she’s not connecting with the wrong people online really.
 

Cue

Well-Known Forumite
The simple answer is you can’t. Apps on iOS are completely sandboxed and can’t interact with each other, and an app that could monitor your messages would be a massive security, privacy and potential safety risk (think domestic abuse victims) in a scenario that wasn’t a concerned parent wanting to keep an eye on their kid.

You can stop them from accessing certain apps, and can limit their usage, but you can’t monitor what goes on inside an app.

You can do the stuff @tek-monkey mentioned by being in the same Apple Family, which also gives you the ability to share app purchases and lets everyone use one shared purchasing card on the app store (and yes you can set it so you have to approve purchases)

How old are they, by the way...?
 

SketchyMagpie

Well-Known Forumite
Is getting her a phone that doesn't have internet access an option?

(assuming her "needing it" means to just for safety and to contact people)
 

Bob

Well-Known Forumite
Shes 12 and she gave someone on a game her contact info, which is what her her phone confiscated in the first place. All games have been removed and she’s under strict instructions regarding what she can and can’t do but she’s at a difficult age where she thinks she’s invincible and that I have no idea what about anything at all.
 

Noah

Well-Known Forumite
iPhones have a Find My Friends app built in - now combined with Find My Phone. You will need to set her phone to allow you to track her. The police are recommending something called Hollie App or Hollie Guard App which enables her to tell you where she is, and if she is worried set off an alarm and send an automatic text to you. Neither exactly what you want as they don't control downloads or monitor online activity.
 

Cue

Well-Known Forumite
Shes 12 and she gave someone on a game her contact info, which is what her her phone confiscated in the first place. All games have been removed and she’s under strict instructions regarding what she can and can’t do but she’s at a difficult age where she thinks she’s invincible and that I have no idea what about anything at all.

And taking her phone away and removing all the games is likely to only make that worse as she’ll become more and more jaded by what she sees as overprotectiveness. Especially if all her mates are playing those games she’ll start feeling left out.

I don’t have kids, but I did grow up during the tech/Internet/social media boom when a lot of this stuff was new and people weren’t as careful. Had a friend get catfished but thankfully never met the guy, god knows who it actually was on the other side but it wasn’t a rich 16 year old called Nate. A not-angry, “we care” sit-down and discussion about why giving your info to strangers will go far better than taking her phone away in actually getting through to her though. The stuff schools do for it never does and kids don’t take it remotely seriously.

I’m aware you didn’t come here for parenting advice, but you can’t monitor her messaging activities other than knowing how often she’s using it in the first place. Apple would never allow even an employer with Enterprise rollouts to monitor SMS activity, plus of course there’s a lot more than just texting to monitor these days and a big focus on security and privacy. The tools that offer text message monitoring exclude it from their iOS offering, and can’t monitor all their social media messaging accounts anyway so the point is fairly moot

(I assure you, SMS is the last place anyone up to anything nefarious is going to want to try using)
 
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c0tt0nt0p

Well-Known Forumite
Once she's 13 she can have a Facebook or Instagram account... That will be when the fun really starts....
 

littleme

250,000th poster!
And taking her phone away and removing all the games is likely to only make that worse as she’ll become more and more jaded by what she sees as overprotectiveness. Especially if all her mates are playing those games she’ll start feeling left out.

I don’t have kids, but I did grow up during the tech/Internet/social media boom when a lot of this stuff was new and people weren’t as careful. Had a friend get catfished but thankfully never met the guy, god knows who it actually was on the other side but it wasn’t a rich 16 year old called Nate. A not-angry, “we care” sit-down and discussion about why giving your info to strangers will go far better than taking her phone away in actually getting through to her though. The stuff schools do for it never does and kids don’t take it remotely seriously.

I’m aware you didn’t come here for parenting advice, but you can’t monitor her messaging activities other than knowing how often she’s using it in the first place. Apple would never allow even an employer with Enterprise rollouts to monitor SMS activity, plus of course there’s a lot more than just texting to monitor these days and a big focus on security and privacy. The tools that offer text message monitoring exclude it from their iOS offering, and can’t monitor all their social media messaging accounts anyway so the point is fairly moot

(I assure you, SMS is the last place anyone up to anything nefarious is going to want to try using)
Excellent advice. Proud owner of a 15yr old.

:facepalm::facepalm:
 

Cue

Well-Known Forumite
Catfish her yourself, she'll never trust anyone online again!

Until you have Nev Schulman in your local cafe discovering your address and knocking on your door

(except not really as we don’t have the absolutely bonkers system of being able to locate people by their phone number)
 
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