The Forum's Favourite Poems.


Well-Known Forumite
Long ago, when out at sea
I felt the need, to have a pee.
Into the ocean, broad and wide,
I let the silver trickles slide.
But be advised, afore ye embark,
Never, ever, pee on a shar......................................................................................... (Communication was lost at this point.)



Well-Known Forumite
Under the wide and starry sky,
Dig the grave and let me lie.
Glad did I live and gladly die,
And I laid me down with a will

This be the verse you grave for me:
Here he lies where he longed to be;
Home is the sailor, home from sea,
And the hunter home from the hill.

Robert Louis Stevenson.


Forum O. G.
Another Brian Bilston.



Mad Cat Woman
Great Holy Thread Resurection Batman!!!!

Written by a fan of Paul O’Grady so had to share....

"Hello! "From me in heaven
As you all know, I've died.
To stay down there amongst you lot
Well, I really really tried
But Him up there sent a hit man
Who dragged me from my bed
And instead of taking me below
I've landed here instead.
It happened all so suddenly
While I was sound asleep
Dreaming of my doggie friends,
My pigs, my goats and sheep.
I got dropped outside these shiny gates
And told to ring the bell
(I was glad I wore my jimjams
And my breath it didn't smell!)
I got ushered in by Peter
(I think that was his name)
And I asked him what the matter was
And just what was his game.
"You'd better see the boss" he said
And quickly disappeared
Leaving me confronted by
An old guy with a beard.
This guy produced a glass of wine
And gave me a strange nod
"I am known by many names
But you can call me God.
Now, we have up here a vacancy
Impossible to fill
But someone very close to you
Told me you'd fit the bill".
I stared at him with open gob
Then guzzled down the bevy
"I'll help you if I can" I said
"As long as it's not heavy!"
"There is a door beside the gate
Through which all creatures pass"
And staring back I saw a sight
Which made me drop my glass
T'was Murphy standing, arms outstretched
My mind was all afluster
For standing right beside my love
Was Bullseye, Olg and Buster.
"You're needed here to help these pets"
My Murphy did advise
And seeing my loved ones once again
Brought tears to my eyes.
"Ahem, may I continue please?"
This man named God then spoke
"These animals need someone kind
And we think you're the bloke
To wait beside this special door
Let those approach come through it
And help each one dispell their fear".
"That's it!" said I "Let's do it!!"
So here I am with Murph and dogs
Putting creatures at their ease
A job which gives me so much joy
And really is a breeze.
We spoil them when they come to us
With treats from out the fridge
Then when we know they're ready
We help them cross the Bridge.
So stop the sadness that you hold.
Don't let those teardrops fall.
For I'm here in my element
With heavenly love
From Paul xxx


Forum O. G.



Mad Cat Woman
Truth in Me.

I have no desire
to fit in.

No plans
to walk with the crowd.

I have my own mind,
and soul.

I am Me.

and it

Has taken me years
to realize
how important that is.

R.M Drake.


Well-Known Forumite
As a child I knew this by heart, I now have a framed printout in the kitchen.

The Tyger

Tyger Tyger, burning bright,
In the forests of the night;
What immortal hand or eye,
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies.
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand, dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder, & what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? & what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain,
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp,
Dare its deadly terrors clasp!

When the stars threw down their spears
And water'd heaven with their tears:
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

Tyger Tyger burning bright,
In the forests of the night:
What immortal hand or eye,
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?


Theresa Green

Well-Known Forumite
Mist closing in, getting thicker, one drops out, becoming quicker, lights grow dim, they glimmer, the chances smaller, the odds are slimmer.

Dot dash Bill Cash
Dot dash don't crash

Dip flash
Need a slash

Wikipedia still saying Bill Cash is the cousin of Johnny Cash

Unless you go to the Johnny Cash page


Well-Known Forumite

As Bad as a Mile​

Watching the shied core
Striking the basket, skidding across the floor,
Shows less and less of luck, and more and more

Of failure spreading back up the arm
Earlier and earlier, the unraised hand calm,
The apple unbitten in the palm.

p. 1960


Mad Cat Woman
I used to get taken to jumble sales
They had a dank and ancient smell
But I'd give anything to go back there
And never break that magic spell

Cos I'd be clinging to mums hand
That lioness with a heart of gold
In winter she'd wrap me in hat and scarf
To protect me from the bitter cold

Each week I'd get my pocket money
Comics and jamboree bags were my treasure
To see me with a smile upon my face
Was what gave my mum her greatest pleasure

On some nights there'd be a knock on the door
And we'd all duck down not making a sound
It would be the debt collectors or tally man
Doing their weekly round

Mum would sit at her sewing machine
Earning pennies to keep us fed
Goodnight and god bless she'd say
Each night as she tucked me into bed

She'd wipe the corner of my mouth with a hankie
And always had a tissue up her sleeve
Make me go to bed in excited expectation
Extra early on a Christmas eve

Each November we'd have fireworks
And she'd gently place a sparkler in my hand
Each summer take me up to Southend
Let me paddle and build castles with stoney sand

Suddenly she got older
Her hips and knees were all replaced
Her spine developed a curvature
So I placed my arm around her waist

Life had gone full circle
It was my turn to feed this humble lioness
I nursed and wiped her ageing brow
Put her to bed and help her dress

Then one day her heart stopped beating
For my queen of hearts I sat and cried
But as fast as she left her body
I suddenly felt her by my side

For nine months a mother carries us
That connection will last forever
Like the umbilical cord at the beginning
Our spirits will always be linked together

Danny Fenn the boleyn poet


Well-Known Forumite
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?

10 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.

11 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

12 I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life.

13 And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.

14 I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him.

15 That which hath been is now; and that which is to be hath already been; and God requireth that which is past.

16 And moreover I saw under the sun the place of judgment, that wickedness was there; and the place of righteousness, that iniquity was there.

17 I said in mine heart, God shall judge the righteous and the wicked: for there is a time there for every purpose and for every work.

18 I said in mine heart concerning the estate of the sons of men, that God might manifest them, and that they might see that they themselves are beasts.

19 For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts; even one thing befalleth them: as the one dieth, so dieth the other; yea, they have all one breath; so that a man hath no preeminence above a beast: for all is vanity.

20 All go unto one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again.

21 Who knoweth the spirit of man that goeth upward, and the spirit of the beast that goeth downward to the earth?

22 Wherefore I perceive that there is nothing better, than that a man should rejoice in his own works; for that is his portion: for who shall bring him to see what shall be after him?


Well-Known Forumite
To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
2 A time [a]to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
3 A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
4 A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
7 A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
8 A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,
And a time of peace.

The God-Given Task​

9 What profit has the worker from that in which he labors? 10 I have seen the God-given task with which the sons of men are to be occupied. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.

12 I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives, 13 and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God.

14 I know that whatever God does,
It shall be forever.
Nothing can be added to it,
And nothing taken from it.
God does it, that men should fear before Him.
15 That which is has already been,
And what is to be has already been;
And God [b]requires an account of [c]what is past.

Injustice Seems to Prevail​

16 Moreover I saw under the sun:

In the place of [d]judgment,
Wickedness was there;
And in the place of righteousness,
[e]Iniquity was there.
17 I said in my heart,

“God shall judge the righteous and the wicked,
For there is a time there for every [f]purpose and for every work.”
18 I said in my heart, “Concerning the condition of the sons of men, God tests them, that they may see that they themselves are like animals.” 19 For what happens to the sons of men also happens to animals; one thing befalls them: as one dies, so dies the other. Surely, they all have one breath; man has no advantage over animals, for all is vanity. 20 All go to one place: all are from the dust, and all return to dust. 21 Who[g] knows the spirit of the sons of men, which goes upward, and the spirit of the animal, which goes down to the earth? 22 So I perceived that nothing is better than that a man should rejoice in his own works, for that is his [h]heritage. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him?


Well-Known Forumite

Working on something and lost access to Office stuff, need somewhere else to hold it.

There may be edits, for which i'm also preemptively sorry