Who gives a hoot about the Ashes?

Sir BoD

Well-Known Forumite
Game is drifting away. Fancy scoring 244, carrying your bat, and still not ending up on the winning side. Oh, and the rain is starting, too!
 

Withnail

Well-Known Forumite
Like a cold day in Shee f-field,
Like a greasy chip butty,
Oh Sheffield United,
Come thrill us again....

La la-la-la la-LAAA-la Oi!

Thin crowd - army of barmy keeping their end up.

If Smith doesn't carry his bat, i'll eat Paddy Ashdown's hat.
 

Withnail

Well-Known Forumite
England win the toss.

Elect to...


... bat first.

Interesting (is this right, Ed) look at the top ten run scorers of all time, upon which table Cook stands at either six or seven.

It's not like i was paying that much attention.

What was interesting was that he had, by quite some margin, the lowest average of all in the top ten - certainly all of those below him had considerably higher batting averages. With his 240+ innings in one session in this series he has dragged himself back to his 46ish average. The pile of pants that preceded it, that arguably lost us the matches that could've won us the series are thus lost in the blink of blithe percentage points.

In contrast, Smith has an average of over 100 in this series, and an average of 60+ in the outside world. He has consistently killed us.
 

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
I don't - but I did accidentally hear the wicket-keeper (I think) complaining about the fans' response and saying that people who can't do 1,000 squat thrusts in a day and a half shouldn't really voice an opinion - or something along those lines.

I couldn't walk across Niagara Falls on a tight-rope, but I could also tell if you can't.
 

Mikinton

Well-Known Forumite
Ary‏@rj17en 13h13 hours ago

Materials found inside bancroft pants #SAvAUS #SandpaperGate

DZE81UeVAAA7yw8.jpg
 

Withnail

Well-Known Forumite
I spoke too soon.
Absolutely awesome from Smith, I do hope the boos stop.

Not a bad reply, though, what?

Draw?

I don't think we'll get Smith out - which means we'll have to work out how to get those around him out.

I think this is going to be a legendary test series.
 

Lucy

Well-Known Forumite
Is it time for a new captain? The second session was pretty diabolical; again.
 

whitelion

Well-Known Forumite
New captain! I say old boy that's a bit rash at this early stage. Show the blighters a bit spirit is what I say.
 
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