Anyone got/recently had teenage kids?

[tek-monkey]

OK, bit of a weird topic.

I'm looking for a sort of self help style book for a girl who recently turned 13. It's that time in her life, she's a bit confused/upset and for various reasons I can't be there for her. I've seen a number of books aimed to help new teenagers understand what is going on and started thinking maybe if I got her something like that it would help. The problem is they are generally written by adults, and I can't decide if they are too preachy/condescending. It also doesn't help that she's changed so much in the last few months I'm not sure I know what level it needs to be pitched at.

So, has anyone ever purchased such a book? If so was it any use? Was looking at this one, if you click the book you can read the first 30 or so pages:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0857085786/ref=ox_sc_saved_title_1?smid=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&psc=1

 

[Thehooperman]

OK, bit of a weird topic.

I'm looking for a sort of self help style book for a girl who recently turned 13. It's that time in her life, she's a bit confused/upset and for various reasons I can't be there for her. I've seen a number of books aimed to help new teenagers understand what is going on and started thinking maybe if I got her something like that it would help. The problem is they are generally written by adults, and I can't decide if they are too preachy/condescending. It also doesn't help that she's changed so much in the last few months I'm not sure I know what level it needs to be pitched at.

So, has anyone ever purchased such a book? If so was it any use? Was looking at this one, if you click the book you can read the first 30 or so pages:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0857085786/ref=ox_sc_saved_title_1?smid=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&psc=1

You don't need a book, just be yourself and be there when she needs you.

Treat her like the young lady/adult that she will shortly become and make sure she knows she can ask or talk to you about anything at anytime.

 

[Gramaisc]

It's not always easy to organise, but the right mates is a good ploy...

 

[tek-monkey]

You don't need a book, just be yourself and be there when she needs you.

Treat her like the young lady/adult that she will shortly become and make sure she knows she can ask or talk to you about anything at anytime.

She knows I'm always here, she's in contact fairly frequently and we're seeing each other more regularly again now. I dunno, she's been a bit down recently and I'm aware I'm not about like I used to be.

 

[Tilly]

 

[Withnail]

There are areas in life where 'expertise' is a quantifiable thing.

A pilot of an aircraft needs it, for example, and if you were on a flight to Malaga and Michael Gove suddenly leapt to his feet from 26A and said 'we've all had enough of experts, i'll fly the plane' , you'd probably all club together to kick his head in before he got anywhere near the cockpit.

Not a great example, of course, because if Michael Gove suddenly leapt to his feet pretty much anywhere you'd probably find yourself kicking his head in before he had a chance to say anything at all.

There are, equally, areas in life where there simply is no 'expertise' - where everybody has to make it up as they go along.

I mean look at Theresa May. She is the Prime Minister of The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, yet clearly has no clue whatsoever as to what she is doing. Whilst this is obviously horrifying, it can also be strangely comforting. If you are fortunate enough to not be Theresa May, which thankfully most of us are.

You don't need a book, dude. She's a lucky girl to have you by her side.

 

[Gadget]

*Put's Mom hat on* Is it just general Teen-ness or is there a particular area she is struggling with? I've had one go through it, one going through it and one not long started going through it autism style! I live in a fun house at times lol

 

[littleme]

Mini-me is also 13 & going through the same kind of thing, I'm interested in any thoughts on this as I truly didn't find it this difficult with my older sons when they were this age....

 

[tek-monkey]

*Put's Mom hat on* Is it just general Teen-ness or is there a particular area she is struggling with? I've had one go through it, one going through it and one not long started going through it autism style! I live in a fun house at times lol

It's hard to tell, I see her fairly infrequently so harder to judge, but we message each other a lot and something seems wrong lately. I don't think it's just to do with our situation, she's a sensitive kid but I think there is more to it. A female friend suggested that at her age hormones will be all over the place, which got me thinking about what help she needs and more importantly how to give it to her if I'm not always about.

An ex has a daughter slightly younger, so I've consulted her. Just waiting for the kids perspective on the book.

 

[Gadget]

Hormones are hideous. Poor kid might not even know what is wrong, just that something isn't right. I've had a quick look at that book and I'm hoping kids like it better than I did lol. This bit worries me especially with a young girl.
Try and be there when she reaches out, lots of listening sometimes even the little things are worth chatting about as they all add up. Try and spot over thinking, that, is rarely a good thing. If you sense things are really going downhill don't be afraid to call in the cavalry. At least with a lot of us having kids around here, one of us might be able to help with something if you get a bit stuck. Good luck and good on you for being there for her!

 

[kyoto49]

The key to teenage girls is communication and for them to know that, whatever they say, being truthful to you will always be met with support and acceptance. Never judge, just listen and gently provide guidance. This approach consistently will lead to trust and them opening up. Don't try to 'fix' things when this happens, just carry on quietly being there! Good luck

 

[tek-monkey]

Hormones are hideous. Poor kid might not even know what is wrong, just that something isn't right. I've had a quick look at that book and I'm hoping kids like it better than I did lol. This bit worries me especially with a young girl. View attachment 6181
Try and be there when she reaches out, lots of listening sometimes even the little things are worth chatting about as they all add up. Try and spot over thinking, that, is rarely a good thing. If you sense things are really going downhill don't be afraid to call in the cavalry. At least with a lot of us having kids around here, one of us might be able to help with something if you get a bit stuck. Good luck and good on you for being there for her!

I had to go back and double check that picture. It shows alcohol, but doesn't explicitly say that alcohol is the issue, yeah thats a bit weird.