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European Penis Size

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Tilly, Jul 25, 2019.

  1. Tilly

    Tilly Well-Known Forumite

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    Sir

    I'm baffled by the English and their obsession with making their cars extremely noisy

    Rather like a child in the playground seeking attention, I've noted on my return visit, ridiculous exhaust noises and obsessive revving of soupy engines

    Surely all these boy racers can't all have tiny penises

    I imagine they still live at home with Mom

    And she's put the stoppers on watching porn on the family wifi .

    Does owning a twatish car really make up for it?


    We must be told

    Actually

    On second thoughts
     
    Martin likes this.
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  3. Glam

    Glam Mad Cat Woman

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    Read that just as 2 knobheads roared past in their Corsas. Both making that noise, I think it's called a dump valve?? Someone please put me right.
     
  4. Trumpet

    Trumpet Well-Known Forumite

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    Doubt it on a boy racer Corsa.
    Was it like a whistling sound when they changed gear?
     
  5. Glam

    Glam Mad Cat Woman

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    Yeah, what's that then?
     
  6. proactive

    proactive Behind you with a big stick!

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    There seems to be a fashion for artificially generated dump valve sounds, played over under bonnet speakers at the moment. There's an arse in a blue Clio goes round town with one.
     
    littleme likes this.
  7. littleme

    littleme 250,000th poster!

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    I get the carer to stick his head out of my Fiestas window & make the same noise.... Peeeeeeeewwwwwwww, pfffttt
     
  8. proactive

    proactive Behind you with a big stick!

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    Sorry, who is whose carer?
     
  9. Trumpet

    Trumpet Well-Known Forumite

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    Sure it's not his *rse?
     
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  10. Trumpet

    Trumpet Well-Known Forumite

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    Knob.

    (him, not you)
     
  11. Withnail

    Withnail Well-Known Forumite

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    I have never been convinced about the supposed correlation between penis size and car ownership.

    I have second dibs on a Peugeot something-or-other.

    By rights my penis should be absolutely enormous.

    And yet it is not.
     
  12. That-Crazy-Rat-Lady

    That-Crazy-Rat-Lady Well-Known Forumite

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    What does this mean for female chav racers??

    Are they lacking junk in the trunk?
    A lapse of lovely lady lumps?
     
    Alee likes this.
  13. Tilly

    Tilly Well-Known Forumite

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    An inability to get a wide on

    Perhaps

    :bum:
     
    That-Crazy-Rat-Lady and Sir BoD like this.
  14. Tilly

    Tilly Well-Known Forumite

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    [​IMG]
     
  15. Cue

    Cue Well-Known Forumite

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    That’ll be the one I can always hear from outside our house. Annoying little twat.

    You have to smirk a little though, they have all that noise but none of the actual horsepower or acceleration to back it up, it’s very rare I see one of them pull away faster than my own car. All bark, no bite.

    @Glam the dump valve is the whistling noise you’ll sometimes hear them make.
     
  16. Glam

    Glam Mad Cat Woman

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    Had a Mondeo go past us earlier, the noises it was making were more than annoying. Shame the driver looked more like my age (55) than a daft teenage boy racer.
     
  17. Noah

    Noah Well-Known Forumite

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    Had one of them go by the other day who had clearly put some castor oil in his petrol so that it smelt as though he was using Castrol R racing oil. Didn't know the idiot faction still thought that it impressed people.
     

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