db
#chaplife
i was lying in bed this morning, having just been woken up by my clock/radio, and was gently dozing while thinking of ways i could get away with murdering scott mills when i heard a knock at the door.. my door rarely gets knocked on, especially at 07:20 in the morning, so as you can imagine i was up like a shot, wondering who it might be..
i opened the door, only to find a copper in full police regalia stood on my doorstep..
"dirty?" he said.. now, i was always taught that in these sorts of situations never admit who you are, as you have no idea what they are there for or what you are admitting to.. so i simply responded, "sorry?"
"dirty bobby?" he asked.. clearly, my aforementioned training went out the window, as i firmly and positively answered "yes," and just in case this wasn't enough, for some reason i cemented it with a more definite "yes, that's me".. well done, idiot..
"i have a warrant for your arrest."
brilliant.. 7 o'clock in the ruddy morning and someone is trying to arrest me on my own doorstep..
alas, it's nowhere near as dramatic as it sounds.. last april, i came home to stafford to celebrate my birthday.. i came out of BBC's house on the morning of my birthday, to find a ticket slapped on my windscreen as i was apparently infringing the new "No Waiting" zone that had castletown residents up in arms last year.. obviously, being my birthday, and considering the state of my head as a result of the previous night's shenanigans, my reaction was "bitch, please
" and i never thought about it again..
clearly i had no intention of paying it.. clearly the babylon had other ideas lol.. my car is still registered to an address i haven't lived in in years (yeah, i'm lazy), so all the court summonses and warnings of arrest had been going to that address, unbeknownst to me.. which is how we arrive at this morning, with PC Plod stood at my door trying to bang me up in a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison..
how would i possibly avoid this punishment? quite easily, it turns out.. he gave me a lift to the nearest cash point, i paid him £45, and that was the end of it lol..
i opened the door, only to find a copper in full police regalia stood on my doorstep..
"dirty?" he said.. now, i was always taught that in these sorts of situations never admit who you are, as you have no idea what they are there for or what you are admitting to.. so i simply responded, "sorry?"
"dirty bobby?" he asked.. clearly, my aforementioned training went out the window, as i firmly and positively answered "yes," and just in case this wasn't enough, for some reason i cemented it with a more definite "yes, that's me".. well done, idiot..
"i have a warrant for your arrest."
brilliant.. 7 o'clock in the ruddy morning and someone is trying to arrest me on my own doorstep..
alas, it's nowhere near as dramatic as it sounds.. last april, i came home to stafford to celebrate my birthday.. i came out of BBC's house on the morning of my birthday, to find a ticket slapped on my windscreen as i was apparently infringing the new "No Waiting" zone that had castletown residents up in arms last year.. obviously, being my birthday, and considering the state of my head as a result of the previous night's shenanigans, my reaction was "bitch, please
" and i never thought about it again..clearly i had no intention of paying it.. clearly the babylon had other ideas lol.. my car is still registered to an address i haven't lived in in years (yeah, i'm lazy), so all the court summonses and warnings of arrest had been going to that address, unbeknownst to me.. which is how we arrive at this morning, with PC Plod stood at my door trying to bang me up in a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison..
how would i possibly avoid this punishment? quite easily, it turns out.. he gave me a lift to the nearest cash point, i paid him £45, and that was the end of it lol..
