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Leave or Remain?
- Thread starter andy w
- Start date
Withnail
Well-Known Forumite
Imagine, if you will, you have been married for 40 years.
Your husband, on the advice of his dickhead friends, has decided to file for divorce.
Let's accept the plaintiff's assertion that the 'friends' are, indeed, 'dickheads', because they are.
We can, can we not, assume that if your husband is acting upon the advice of acknowledged dickheads, it's probably fair to assume that he is himself a dickhead?
The grounds for divorce are that your dickhead husband intends to have an affair.
He's not 'having' an affair, he just thinks that if you weren't 'in the way' by holding on to this godforsaken marriage, which is, as he has previously and obviously agreed to, an honourable estate, he could have as many affairs as he liked.
Ok, you say, a bit blind-sided.
So how do we proceed?
Dickhead says we should should 'just get on with it'.
Your friend Gina says that you should probably get a lawyer, so you do, and he thinks that it's not quite as easy as that.
Protracted discussions ensue, and you finally agree to a divorce settlement - things have been a bit tricky because access to your little child 'Ulster' have proved particularly difficult, but you have agreed to an interim agreement on the basis that that if you can't agree on access arrangements the child will be rent in twain.
Nobody, including you, understands what that actually means.
Everybody panics.
Your husband, on the advice of his dickhead friends, has decided to file for divorce.
Let's accept the plaintiff's assertion that the 'friends' are, indeed, 'dickheads', because they are.
We can, can we not, assume that if your husband is acting upon the advice of acknowledged dickheads, it's probably fair to assume that he is himself a dickhead?
The grounds for divorce are that your dickhead husband intends to have an affair.
He's not 'having' an affair, he just thinks that if you weren't 'in the way' by holding on to this godforsaken marriage, which is, as he has previously and obviously agreed to, an honourable estate, he could have as many affairs as he liked.
Ok, you say, a bit blind-sided.
So how do we proceed?
Dickhead says we should should 'just get on with it'.
Your friend Gina says that you should probably get a lawyer, so you do, and he thinks that it's not quite as easy as that.
Protracted discussions ensue, and you finally agree to a divorce settlement - things have been a bit tricky because access to your little child 'Ulster' have proved particularly difficult, but you have agreed to an interim agreement on the basis that that if you can't agree on access arrangements the child will be rent in twain.
Nobody, including you, understands what that actually means.
Everybody panics.
Thehooperman
Well-Known Forumite
Do you mean if you don't hold the door open they can never leave?
Tilly
Well-Known Forumite
Please send this or a version of to:
The Independent
The Guardian
Sky News
Terry Wogan
basil
don't mention the blinds
and cc the Llandudno chronic....
BobClay
Well-Known Forumite
There's quite a few round here who want a 'no deal,' they literally want a crash out. Apparently they're not bothered if we run out of Spam and Beans, everything will get better 'The Day After.'
My experience with hangovers suggests otherwise to me, but I could be wrong. (I'm going to do a lot of gloating if not, even though I might be beanless and spamless.)
My experience with hangovers suggests otherwise to me, but I could be wrong. (I'm going to do a lot of gloating if not, even though I might be beanless and spamless.)
Tilly
Well-Known Forumite
There's quite a few round here who want a 'no deal,' they literally want a crash out. Apparently they're not bothered if we run out of Spam and Beans, everything will get better 'The Day After.'
My experience with hangovers suggests otherwise to me, but I could be wrong. (I'm going to do a lot of gloating if not, even though I might be beanless and spamless.)
https://www.theguardian.com/politic...l-want-it-crewe-voters-size-up-no-deal-brexit
BobClay
Well-Known Forumite
Reading that article I'm probably going to have to be a bit crude here … which as I'm sure you have noticed … is not normal behaviour for an ex-officer and gentleman. I'm normally as swarf and suffisticated as f***.
NUKE THE F***ERS !!!
(I of course apologise for any offence I may have caused to delicate West Midlands ears.
)
NUKE THE F***ERS !!!
(I of course apologise for any offence I may have caused to delicate West Midlands ears.
)
Tilly
Well-Known Forumite
Tilly
Well-Known Forumite
Jollees
Stanley Mathews
Pot Banks
The Torch
It's impossible to spot where The Gladstone Museum ends and the city of Stoke begins
tek-monkey
wanna see my snake?
Think about it logically, no point selling papers in a country where the currency is worth less than dirt.
Withnail
Well-Known Forumite
But the divorce is not yet finalised.
Two and a half years of torturous 'back and forth' has resulted only on an interim agreement for ickle 'Ulster' - you are not any closer to a final agreement than you were at the beginning.
So you agree to disagree. Although anyone who has eyes to see can see that neither of you appear to be willing to have 'Ulster' only at the weekend.
Then your dickhead husband goes to the pub, where he meets his dickhead friends, who tell him he's being mugged off or something.
He's now emboldened - but everyone who's sober can see it's just the drink talking. He wants to change the 'arrangements' of access, but doesn't really have any sort of plan about what they might be - he wants you to come up with a way out of this nightmare even though he was the one who went to sleep - he doesn't know now what it is that he wants even though he was the most demonstrative - he wants something, though, and will be butt-hurt if you don't give him it.
He has lost it.
Do you really want him back?
Two and a half years of torturous 'back and forth' has resulted only on an interim agreement for ickle 'Ulster' - you are not any closer to a final agreement than you were at the beginning.
So you agree to disagree. Although anyone who has eyes to see can see that neither of you appear to be willing to have 'Ulster' only at the weekend.
Then your dickhead husband goes to the pub, where he meets his dickhead friends, who tell him he's being mugged off or something.
He's now emboldened - but everyone who's sober can see it's just the drink talking. He wants to change the 'arrangements' of access, but doesn't really have any sort of plan about what they might be - he wants you to come up with a way out of this nightmare even though he was the one who went to sleep - he doesn't know now what it is that he wants even though he was the most demonstrative - he wants something, though, and will be butt-hurt if you don't give him it.
He has lost it.
Do you really want him back?