arthur
Nixon Garden Neatness
I like to keep stuff, whether I hoard or not is (not) up for discussion. I know a lot of things will come in useful or will be needed so I keep them. I will get rid of things, happily but only after I'm ready. Forcing the issue is horrendous and actually quite traumatic. I became very very ill having someone enter my space and removing my things, telling me what I could and couldn't keep. Stressful doesn't begin to describe it. It is actually painful and extremely distressing. Unless you feel this way too you won't be able to understand. We can become emotionally attached to things, we like the security of knowing they are there. Having it all removed is like having a piece of yourself pulled out. Yes we heal but wow it's a horrible feeling.
We don't all feel better afterwards and personally those kind of books make me feel anxious and angry, so if you are planning on giving them, I'd check about how they feel about them first.
I understand that sometimes things must be sorted, this is just an insight as to how horrendous this process can be on the person you are 'helping'. Be patient, be kind, be gentle please.
P.s we've had to replace most of the things I was forced to get rid of as it turned out, yes, we did actually need them in the end.
Thank you for your reply - yes I'm so aware that it's making her very sad and stressed to get rid of things - she keeps saying they are her memories and my heart goes out to her to see her stressed, but when there is no space to actually walk in her room and she has to climb over stuff to get to her clothes we had to do something.
On a positive note today she has bagged up all her summer clothes and said they can go in the top cupboard over the stairs.
She also brought ALL her books downstairs into the dining room and went through them I gave her three shelves in the dining room bookcase just for her books. Cuddly toys are going to be a massive job we've got a net hammock and we can attach that to the ceiling for them all to go in but there really are hundreds.