Oooooh, Matron!

db

#chaplife
my sister sent me this e-mail this morning.. i was giggling like a schoolgirl for ages at this, so it's only fair i share them here:

Here are 12 of the finest double-entendres that have aired on British TV & Radio....

1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."

5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ...... Oh my god!! What have I just said??"

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said - "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked - "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters - "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday."

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on BBC’s Look North said - "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

10. Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports - "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked - "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Fold and his caddie Fanny Unison lining-up shots at the Scottish Open - "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."
 

BBC

You knows it
Classic! Love these kind of quotes.

The best of double -entendre of all time has to be the cricket commentator who commented that "The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey"

:D
 

Augustus Gloop

Well-Known Forumite
BBC said:
Classic! Love these kind of quotes.

The best of double -entendre of all time has to be the cricket commentator who commented that "The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey"

:D
That was Brian Johnston BBC. The man was a legend. He could hardly hold back the laughter after saying it too. Could barely string a sentence together. Hilarious stuff.
 

Doctor

Well-Known Forumite
The classic Johners and Aggers corpsing on air was after a batsman was out hit wicket after trying to step over them and Aggers said "He just couldn't get is leg over", followed by much mirth and Johners mumbling amidst supressed laughter "Oh! do stop it Aggers!"
 

Augustus Gloop

Well-Known Forumite
Doctor said:
The classic Johners and Aggers corpsing on air was after a batsman was out hit wicket after trying to step over them and Aggers said "He just couldn't get is leg over", followed by much mirth and Johners mumbling amidst supressed laughter "Oh! do stop it Aggers!"
Stand corrected. ;)
 
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