gon2seed
(and me! - Ed)
I am aware that my pool of "Tales", has succumbed to global warming, and ...well...dried up, and with it my flow of Skill Points, which now has all the flow rate of an 80 year old fella with a prostrate like an ostrich egg.
With all this in mind, I will share the unfotunate fate that befell a colleague some time ago. It is not for the faint hearted, and contains what could be considered some unpleasant elements, and some swearing. Those of a sensitive nature should NOT read on.
As discussed on previous threads, a 'bad back' is an occupational hazard in my job. You should hear the collective creaking, groaning and howls of pain that greet a "shout", during a rest break, that necessitates firefighters leaping into action, from a chair!
Anyway, bad backs are rife, and if any of you have been so unfortunate as to suffer from the most acute form of this ailment, I am sure you will testify that they can be very debilitating.
I was once so afflicted that I "locked" on the stairs while trying to crawl up them, (having earlier, done my back leapfrogging one of the Seedlings). If your back hasn't "gone" like this, you will not appreciate how excruciating the experience is! Any movement is agony, the muscles spasm in order to protect the back, and you reach a quivering stalemate. Agony prevents further movement, but staying put is hardly an attractive option.
I had to suffer the ignominy of being rescued by The Venerable Mrs Seed, who despite being a delicate flower, managed to get me to my bed!
My experiece, though a trifle humiliating, and painful, was nothing compared to that of... well lets call him ... Rex.
Rex was a seasoned respected fireman, approaching a well earned retirement. It couldn't come soon enough, as his spine had just about had enough. Rex had been sent home from work after lifting a ladder on a drill, and pulling a muscle in his lower back. Rex thought a warm bath might be just what the doctor ordered, and gingerly slipped into the radox foam. Unfortunately, upon exiting the bath, a slight slip, incurred just the sort of involuntary movement guarenteed to upset the lumbar muscles. Cue agony untold, and Rex found himself on all fours on the bathroom floor, alone in the house, wet, naked, and unable to move. Remembering he had left his mobile phone in the bedroom, he inched his way across the landing past the stairs. With a final effort Rex managed to open the bedroom door, but in doing so he let out a cry of anguish.
At this point Rex remembered that he was not alone in the house afterall. Attracted by the noise Rex's Alsatian came trotting into the hallway ........And started up the stairs.... though wracked with the pain Rex tried to shuffle faster, but mans best friend had reached the top step. "F*ck Off, Prince", F*ck OFF" He intoned, but to no avail...... trembling with agony, and paralysed by fear, Rex was stuck with just his head through the bedroom doorway and his bum pointed towards the dog....Hot breath, a sniff, then a very wet tongue, and the thought of what might come next, were the motivation to overcome the pain that finally lead to Rex lunging through the doorway, and shutting it behind him.
Rex's wife found him still behind the door, bollock naked, when she came home from work. The dog was on guard!
With all this in mind, I will share the unfotunate fate that befell a colleague some time ago. It is not for the faint hearted, and contains what could be considered some unpleasant elements, and some swearing. Those of a sensitive nature should NOT read on.
As discussed on previous threads, a 'bad back' is an occupational hazard in my job. You should hear the collective creaking, groaning and howls of pain that greet a "shout", during a rest break, that necessitates firefighters leaping into action, from a chair!
Anyway, bad backs are rife, and if any of you have been so unfortunate as to suffer from the most acute form of this ailment, I am sure you will testify that they can be very debilitating.
I was once so afflicted that I "locked" on the stairs while trying to crawl up them, (having earlier, done my back leapfrogging one of the Seedlings). If your back hasn't "gone" like this, you will not appreciate how excruciating the experience is! Any movement is agony, the muscles spasm in order to protect the back, and you reach a quivering stalemate. Agony prevents further movement, but staying put is hardly an attractive option.
I had to suffer the ignominy of being rescued by The Venerable Mrs Seed, who despite being a delicate flower, managed to get me to my bed!
My experiece, though a trifle humiliating, and painful, was nothing compared to that of... well lets call him ... Rex.
Rex was a seasoned respected fireman, approaching a well earned retirement. It couldn't come soon enough, as his spine had just about had enough. Rex had been sent home from work after lifting a ladder on a drill, and pulling a muscle in his lower back. Rex thought a warm bath might be just what the doctor ordered, and gingerly slipped into the radox foam. Unfortunately, upon exiting the bath, a slight slip, incurred just the sort of involuntary movement guarenteed to upset the lumbar muscles. Cue agony untold, and Rex found himself on all fours on the bathroom floor, alone in the house, wet, naked, and unable to move. Remembering he had left his mobile phone in the bedroom, he inched his way across the landing past the stairs. With a final effort Rex managed to open the bedroom door, but in doing so he let out a cry of anguish.
At this point Rex remembered that he was not alone in the house afterall. Attracted by the noise Rex's Alsatian came trotting into the hallway ........And started up the stairs.... though wracked with the pain Rex tried to shuffle faster, but mans best friend had reached the top step. "F*ck Off, Prince", F*ck OFF" He intoned, but to no avail...... trembling with agony, and paralysed by fear, Rex was stuck with just his head through the bedroom doorway and his bum pointed towards the dog....Hot breath, a sniff, then a very wet tongue, and the thought of what might come next, were the motivation to overcome the pain that finally lead to Rex lunging through the doorway, and shutting it behind him.
Rex's wife found him still behind the door, bollock naked, when she came home from work. The dog was on guard!
