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The Final Curtain.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by littleme, Sep 27, 2020.

  1. littleme

    littleme 250,000th poster!

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    The carer & minime have a cold (yes, it's just a cold), minime is in bed, the career is snoring on the sofa after getting up at 4am so I didn't have to listen to him coughing.

    I'm watching a programme about Park Street station & dead people. At the start of the programme, I asked the carer what he would like to be buried/burnt with, he seemed rather startled at this....

    Anyhow, just incase I kark-it before the carer...

    I want to be buried/burnt in cosy pj's, with fluffy socks, and slipper boots, and a cosy fluffy blankie (the type I can pull fluff out of, I'm weird, I know) . I don't want the undertakers to do my hair or makeup. I want my mobile phone with me, and pictures of my children/grandchild.

    I don't know why this is important, but it is. I don't care if I'm buried, burnt, or shot into the air like a rocket, just don't bury me at sea....

    What about you lot? Any requests?



    Edit - Probably worthy of a new thread.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 27, 2020
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  3. Lucy

    Lucy Well-Known Forumite

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    I have had a cold all week. It's amazing how hyper aware it makes you - I've discovered I cough after alcohol. It came to a head last night, a couple of hours reading in bed and I feel so much better today.

    I don't like cremation but then why put my body in the ground where no one will visit it anyway?
     
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  4. littleme

    littleme 250,000th poster!

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    I've escaped the lurgey so far (same as I did when they had it last March).

    I don't like the idea of rotting and decaying. My birthday is bonfire night, so the idea of being shot into the air like a rocket appeals to me the most. The sea scares me, it always has.
     
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  5. Lucy

    Lucy Well-Known Forumite

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    The sea is my happy place but just thinking about being buried at sea has sent me cold.
     
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  6. Glam

    Glam Mad Cat Woman

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    We might need a new thread?*

    When Mum died, she had already written a letter to us three girls about how she wanted her funeral to be, no fuss etc.
    But the bigger sister took over and it turned into a bit of a farce. I can't remember how much the mahoosive wreaths we had were, but the cost of the flowers alone were £400, Mum totally hated cut flowers, she believed they should be allowed to grow, that way they stay beautiful for longer.

    Where my Dad was buried, Mum had requested cremation, then to be scattered in Shadwell Park London. She never told my sisters this, just me. She is still in her urn, at my big sisters home, because the big 'I am' doesn't believe that it was what Mum really wanted.

    So, because of all this, I have written my own letter, stating everything,Cremation, the quality of the coffin, the music, no flowers, prefering a donation to a charity if people wish. I'd prefer it is no-one wears black. wear jeans and t shirts, don't mourn my passing, remember me for the crazy old fart that I am.
    Luckily I have a daughter in law that will put her foot down and tell my lads how things will be done.



    * You have one now...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 27, 2020
  7. littleme

    littleme 250,000th poster!

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    Totally agree about the flowers, and also I don't want anyone to 'attend', it's really not important to me.... Had a bit of an argument in the week regarding the 15 people to a wedding, 30 to a funeral, but that's another story.

    Each to their own.
     
  8. tek-monkey

    tek-monkey wanna see my snake?

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    I'd say do as you please, it's for you not me (cos I'm dead!). My only request would be nobody spends any money that wasn't actually spare, I'd rather get minced into dog food than have someone get into debt disposing of my corpse.
     
  9. Glam

    Glam Mad Cat Woman

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    What I haven't said there is, Mum passed 13½ years ago. and the 3 of us still can't agree where to scatter her. The other 2 won't let me have a turn ' looking after her ' due to the fact they know I will be heading to London on the motorway to her final resting place.
     
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  10. Studio Tan

    Studio Tan Well-Known Forumite

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    A woman I know had both parents ashes in urns which she was going to 'sprinkle somewhere' but didn't get around to it so now she keeps 'them' both in the cupboard. Occasionally she takes them out and pops them on the sofa if she feels like having a natter / catch up. I actually think that sounds quite nice.
     
  11. staffordjas

    staffordjas Well-Known Forumite

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    I've got our dogs ashes (or at least I hope they are hers ) in a nice casket on the windowsill. I always talk to her when I move her to polish the windowsill.

    My only request so far, at my cremation, is for East 17's Stay another day

    Son was brought up on East 17 when I played it constantly when I was pregnant ,then he sat for hours watching their videos as a baby as I worked from home for GEC for a couple of years . He still loves this song 24 years later as well.

    Son used to tell me to stop being morbid when I told him I wanted this at my funeral before , as though it ever wasn't going to happen. But when he played it last week when I was at his house he just said "OK , I'll make sure it is ". Scary to think he realises how old I actually am now, and how close that time might be :o

    Sorting my cupboards out today to leave it tidy for if I suddenly pop my clogs. (Remember the time clearing my parents house out , and vowed then not to leave so much clutter for son to sort out!)

    Hubbys cousins wanted his mum to have a horse and carriage .....no way , cost me & hubby enough for a couple of cars, it wasn't his cousins having to fork out for it all!
    His mum wanted her ashes buried with his dad in his grave. Graveyard people said no, not allowed. Did a bit of sprucing up of his grave a few weeks later .....she's now under a few plants on it :shifty:

    Had to draw the line at letting hubby get his way with the idea of transporting his dads coffin to the church and graveyard in the back of our Corsa.:roll: We were struggling with money at the time, having not long buying our house (we had to sell his car to buy the carpets with the money ) . But still had to find the money for at least a 'Dad' wreath and hearse , which we followed in our own car. That broke my heart though, going back to the grave later in the day and finding it had already been disposed of, along with everyone elses flowers.:(


    I don't want masses of flowers, and anyone else who bothers to attend being asked for donations. Only got hubby and son left anyway , so won't be a big do !

    I know I'm only little....maybe hubby can fit my coffin into our car ....left to him he will :lol:
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2020
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  12. Gadget

    Gadget Well-Known Forumite

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    Ooh a death positive thread :bravo:

    This is what I've told my family. If possible I want everything that can be donated to be donated. What's left to be either used for science or disposed of in the most green and least expensive way. A shroud and a hole preferably with a tree or something or by alkaline hydrolysis which is kind of water cremation. Unfortunately although completely safe, water companies are a bit squeamish and are being awkward about this, hopefully they will have resolved the problems before I die. No embalming or funeral director faffing. No flowers, absolutely no flowers! Total waste of money. I'm dead I don't need any of it. Have a charity collection or buy something you want/need in memory of me. No head stone or marker. If you want, just record where I ended up in case someone wants to know in the future. No need for a funeral service or memorial, just raise me a glass and leave it out for me.
    End of the day, my remains aren't really me. I've moved along somewhere else, I'll always be with you if you think of me. Any unnecessary expense or faff and I will come back and get you!

    I recommend the Ask a Mortician YouTube channel (101) Caitlin Doughty – Ask A Mortician - YouTube for anyone interested in finding out a lot of interesting things to do with death, funeral options etc. It is American but much of it applies here too. It is also quite entertaining, with episodes on famous people and what happened to them in the end.
     
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  13. Glam

    Glam Mad Cat Woman

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    I totally agree with all of this @Gadget
    Youngest said other day, he wants no faff, embalming etc. Just dig a hole and shove him in it. If possible no coffin, or the cheapest compostable one going. He wants to be worm food asap.
    I've signed up online for organ donations, those amongst my nearest and dearest know my wishes, even tho the bits I have are wearing out now, they might give someone else the chance to enjoy life.

    For 34yrs, My Dad never had a headstone, it was up to the 6 of us left, and no-one could agree. Us 3 girls weren't bothered, we all know where he is, he int going nowhere. His daughter from his first marriage took it upon herself to get a smallish one. Stuck her hand out for money, and none of us have contributed. Once they have a headstone, the churchyard flattens the grave so it's easier to mow the grass.

    I love absolutely this lady. Informative yet fun at the same time. And she does seriously, have the most amazing hair!
     
  14. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    I requested and got signed and sealed a few years back to donate my body to medical research. A place in Bristol (a couple of others have done it from the village and they come and collect the shell that was you, although I don't know how this pandemic has affected all of that.)

    I've carried a Donor card for years so any halfway good spares they can use they're more than welcome to.

    I've only insisted on one criteria to all of this ... make sure I'm f****** dead first. !!! :P
     
  15. Glam

    Glam Mad Cat Woman

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    That's what myself and younger sister have said, I don't want to be buried alive. Yes, with all the technology we have these days, that is very unlikely to happen. But it does. I have no nails to claw my way out.
     
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  16. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    Now there's a nightmare straight out of an Edgar Allen Poe story ... :eek:
     
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  17. staffordjas

    staffordjas Well-Known Forumite

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    That's why hubby wants to be cremated as well, fears of being buried alive.
     
  18. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

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    Graves can become an 'issue' as people's circumstances change. I keep an eye on one for someone who lives on the other side of the planet. It took a long time to find it, initially. Three visits and a bit more location information before I finally stumbled on it.

    2018 08 13 1.JPG


    Four or five quick visits over the last couple of years and it has progressed a bit.

    DSC_0694_LI.jpg

    The glass 'gravel' was retrieved from the layer of 'mulch' that had been delivered by the strimmers over the years.

    It was strimmed again, a couple of weeks after the last picture above and, as I suspected, they made much more effort to avoid flinging debris in, now that it looks a bit 'kept'. It only took a minute to remove 95% of it.

    It is worth considering the future logistics.
     
  19. Lucy

    Lucy Well-Known Forumite

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    I think my Dad's parents and my maternal grandma (who was visiting from Yorkshire when she died) are all buried at the cemetery. I think we went to look for the graves when I was very little, but they haven't been visited since then as far as I am aware. Some people are into that sort of thing, but others aren't, so having a grave to tend to can be a chore.
     
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  20. PeterD

    PeterD ST16 Represent.

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    I wanted to be buried but the costs were eye watering so I will go for the cheapest option.
    My wife has been instructed, this is genuine by the way, to hire 2 beautiful blonde actresses to throw themselves at my coffin, in tears.
    All that aside a few years back I saw the parents of a small child who had donated an organ following his death that saved the life of another. At their darkest moment, they had the clarity to allow their dead childs organs go to another so they could live. I thought, if they can do that then why not me. I carry a donor card and my family know my wishes.
     
  21. littleme

    littleme 250,000th poster!

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    It happens to everyone, death and taxes.

    I think people are much less bothered about the whole religion thing and 'paying respects' aspects to death nowadays. People are much less bothered about death, and more concerned with how much it will cost the people left behind.

    I would have loved to have left my body to the German bloke who plasticated people for medical science (I've had some things happen which make me a mini medical mystery) , but I believe he died..... Not a joke!
     
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