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The Forum's Favourite Poems

Discussion in 'Entertainment' started by Withnail, Apr 25, 2010.

  1. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

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    It does sound Milliganesque, but I couldn't find it either - any leads?..
     
  2. Mrs M

    Mrs M Well-Known Forumite

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    Sorry, I had just read the ning nang nong poem and had Spike Milligans name in my head when I wrote it I meant to say Terry Gillilam book. OOPs!
     
  3. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

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    And you're not even as old as Trumpet!..
     
  4. Mrs M

    Mrs M Well-Known Forumite

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    Thank goodness, I thought it was only Ageing parent and maybe John Marwood that were older than me, lol.
     
  5. basil

    basil don't mention the blinds

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    Green jelly
    Red jelly
    Snot and bogey pie
    All mixed up
    With a dead man's eye
    Eat it on toast
    Nice and thick
    And then wash it down
    With a cold cup of sick......

    Playground song '50s...........
     
  6. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

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    Aaah, school dinners...
     
  7. basil

    basil don't mention the blinds

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    Another playground song which was best sung by boys whilst pointing to certain parts of the girl's anatomy;

    Milk, Milk
    Lemonade
    Round the corner
    Chocolate's made.....
     
  8. Withnail

    Withnail Well-Known Forumite

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    Balloons

    Since Christmas they have lived with us,
    Guileless and clear,
    Oval soul-animals,
    Taking up half the space,
    Moving and rubbing on the silk

    Invisible air drifts,
    Giving a shriek and pop
    When attacked, then scooting to rest, barely trembling.
    Yellow cathead, blue fish--------
    Such queer moons we live with

    Instead of dead furniture!
    Straw mats, white walls
    And these traveling
    Globes of thin air, red, green,
    Delighting

    The heart like wishes or free
    Peacocks blessing
    Old ground with a feather
    Beaten in starry metals.
    Your small

    Brother is making
    His balloon squeak like a cat.
    Seeming to see
    A funny pink world he might eat on the other side of it,
    He bites,

    Then sits
    Back, fat jug
    Contemplating a world clear as water.
    A red
    Shred in his little fist.

    p. 1963

    SYLVIA PLATH
     
  9. John Marwood

    John Marwood I ♥ cryptic crosswords

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    Gaberdine Angus at the magazine rack
    Views the situation from the front to the back
    Nobody's looking for the man with the mac
    Stick it right back in the stack jack

    Gaberdine Angus had a mean trick
    Had a mean wang - made women sick
    Here's one now - go on act the goat
    Gaberdine Angus - open your coat

    Why waste words - risk resistance
    When you can climax from a distance
    Shock tactics - designed to stun
    Gaberdine Angus - it isn't done

    She don't run - she don't scream
    Your pink extremity has gone unseen
    She doesn't give the usual nervous cough
    So zip up Angus - then zip off.

    JCC
     
  10. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

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    Playing golf or being otherwise dull
    with malice aforethought
    watching TV for more than ten hours a week
    discussing soap operas
    (or any TV programmes or adverts
    in the case of a stand-up comedian on stage)
    and becoming obsessed with the work of
    Quentin Tarantino
    Damien Hirst
    or William Burroughs
    will become a criminal offence
    punishable by five years' enforced participation
    in a non-stop mime
    juggling
    and face painting workshop
    in Slough.

    The Berlin Wall will be rebuilt -
    only five metres higher.
    It will keep people out.
    People like the World Bank
    the International Monetary Fund
    the Spice Girls
    Price Waterhouse
    Goldman Sachs
    Jeffrey Archer
    William Archer
    Peter Mandelson
    Helmut Kohl
    and Boris Yeltsin.

    Peter Lilley and Michael Portillo
    will suffer immediate retrospective abortion.

    In order to combat the increasing danger
    to civilised society
    posed by pig-ignorant
    misogynistic
    right-wing
    testosterone-poisoned
    road rage specialists
    theme gulags will be introduced
    for anyone who drives a van with scratches down the side
    and shouts at or otherwise intimidates
    lone women drivers at roundabouts
    or buys shares in industries
    which belonged to him in the first place.

    These gulags will all be situated on Rockall
    and will have three themes:
    Saturday night in August on the Costa Del Sol
    auction day at the used car emporium on Shoreham seafront
    and happy hour in a Harlow theme pub.
    All themes will run 24 hours a day
    365 days a year
    and inmates will be able to nominate their chosen
    theme on arrival.
    No theme changing will be allowed
    hut Clash albums
    chess sets
    and copies of 'The Ragged-Trousered Philanthropists'
    will be available for rehabilitation purposes.

    Tight security will be enforced.
    Theme gulags will be surrounded by large, deep moats
    filled with soya milk and real ale
    guarded by pitbullfrogs
    and kept under constant surveillance
    by hundreds of high court judges
    watching from carefully constructed ivory towers.

    Boris Yeltsin will finally be recognised
    as the traitor and Judas he is
    and made to spend the rest of his days
    cleaning out the toilets
    at the Glastonbury Festival.
    With his tongue.

    Every Western government leader
    and the entire staff of the United Nations
    will be forced to walk naked
    through the burnt-out towns
    and mass graves
    in what used to be the Socialist Federation of Yugoslavia
    and then have the words
    'Marshall Tito was right'
    tattooed on their foreheads.

    A Zen Stalinist National Curriculum
    will be introduced into schools.
    Albanian
    - both dialects, Gheg and Tosk -
    will become compulsory as a foreign language.
    Reading Geoffrey Archer
    and supporting Crystal Palace
    will become not just highly illegal
    but indicative of a disturbed mental state
    requiring instant frontal lobotomy.

    The Alarm will reform.
    All school students will have to attend morning assembly
    and sing the new National Anthem:
    '68 Guns' by The Alarm.
    Mike Peters of The Alarm
    will become the new Welsh football manager
    with David Icke as his assistant.

    The Royal Family
    will be allowed to remain as figureheads
    but will have to join The Alarm.
    Billy Bragg will become next in line to the throne
    and rhythm guitarist in The Alarm.
    All game show hosts
    and everyone who works for the Sun
    and the Times Literary Supplement
    will be shot.
    Their executions will be videoed
    an acid house soundtrack will be added
    and huge week-long parties
    known as 'graves'
    will begin.

    Ken Livingstone and his pet newt Dennis
    will become Prime Minister
    and Chancellor of the Exchequer.
    All privatised industries will be renationalised
    without compensation
    and a huge TV and poster campaign will be launched
    saying simply
    'Tell Sid tough shit.'
    The Queen will be privatised
    and promoted to lead singer of The Alarm.
    The first Zen Stalinist Five Year Plan
    will be published
    declaring world peace and social surrealism
    and the dark nightmare of monetarist madness
    will finally come to an end.
    For ever.

    Atilla the Stockbroker - The Zen-Stalinist Manifesto.
     
  11. Withnail

    Withnail Well-Known Forumite

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    six of Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird

    I
    Among twenty snowy mountains,
    The only moving thing
    Was the eye of the blackbird.

    III
    The blackbird whirled in the autumn winds.
    It was a small part of the pantomime.

    IV
    A man and a woman
    Are one.
    A man and a woman and a blackbird
    Are one.

    V
    I do not know which to prefer,
    The beauty of inflections
    Or the beauty of innuendoes,
    The blackbird whistling
    Or just after.

    VIII
    I know noble accents
    And lucid, inescapable rhythms;
    But I know, too,
    That the blackbird is involved
    In what I know.

    XII
    The river is moving.
    The blackbird must be flying.

    p.1917

    WALLACE STEVENS
     
  12. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

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    There are no poems about long-tailed tits.
     
  13. Withnail

    Withnail Well-Known Forumite

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  14. Withnail

    Withnail Well-Known Forumite

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    Long of tail
    O tapping bird
    Not welcome in
    Gramaisc's garden

    To what end
    Against the window?
    Is it right so
    Loudly labouring?

    Tell us all
    I ask of thee,
    Tell us, then let Gramaisc be.
     
  15. John Marwood

    John Marwood I ♥ cryptic crosswords

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    Tits
    With tails
    Of length
    Indeed

    Breeding
    Feeding
    Chirping aloud

    It beats
    the rain
    and breaks
    the cloud

    AJ Thribb age 61
     
  16. Withnail

    Withnail Well-Known Forumite

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    3 Cheers for Pooh!
    (For who?)
    For Pooh -
    (Why, what did he do?)
    I thought you knew;
    He saved his friend from a wetting!
    3 Cheers for Bear!
    (For where?)
    For Bear -
    He couldn't swim,
    But he rescued him!
    (He rescued who?)
    Oh, listen, do!
    I am talking of Pooh!
    (Of who?)
    Of Pooh!
    (I'm sorry, I keep forgetting).
    Well, Pooh was a Bear of Enormous Brain
    (Just say it again!)
    Of enormous brain -
    (Of enormous what?)
    Well, he ate a lot,
    And I don't know if he could swim or not,
    But he managed to float
    On a sort of boat
    (On a sort of what?)
    Well, a sort of pot -
    So now let's give three hearty cheers!
    (So now let's give him three hearty whiches?)
    And hope he'll be with us for years and years,
    And grow in health and wisdom and riches!
    3 Cheers for Pooh!
    (For who?)
    For Pooh -
    3 Cheers for Bear
    (For where?)
    For Bear -
    3 Cheers for the wonderful Winnie-the-Pooh!
    (Just tell me, somebody - WHAT DID HE DO?)

    p.1926

    MR. SANDERS
     
  17. Withnail

    Withnail Well-Known Forumite

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    The Sunlight on the Garden

    The sunlight on the garden
    Hardens and grows cold,
    We cannot cage the minute
    Within its nets of gold;
    When all is told
    We cannot beg for pardon.

    Our freedom as free lances
    Advances towards its end;
    The earth compels, upon it
    Sonnets and birds descend;
    And soon, my friend,
    We shall have no time for dances.

    The sky was good for flying
    Defying the church bells
    And every evil iron
    Siren and what it tells:
    The earth compels,
    We are dying, Egypt, dying

    And not expecting pardon,
    Hardened in heart anew,
    But glad to have sat under
    Thunder and rain with you,
    And grateful too
    For sunlight on the garden.

    p.1938

    LOUIS MacNEICE
     
  18. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

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    A Dead Boche.

    To you who’d read my songs of War
    And only hear of blood and fame,
    I’ll say (you’ve heard it said before)
    ”War’s Hell!” and if you doubt the same,
    Today I found in Mametz Wood
    A certain cure for lust of blood:

    Where, propped against a shattered trunk,
    In a great mess of things unclean,
    Sat a dead Boche; he scowled and stunk
    With clothes and face a sodden green,
    Big-bellied, spectacled, crop-haired,
    Dribbling black blood from nose and beard.

    Robert Graves.
     
  19. basil

    basil don't mention the blinds

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    I think his brother Julian had a thing or two to say on this......
     
  20. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

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    Aww, he was nuts..
     

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