If it's dirty, wipe it with an oily rag.
If it's noisy, squirt it with an oil can.
If it doesn't work, hit with a big hammer.
If it still doesn't work, bypass it or blank it off.
If it works ... don't F*** with it.
I've been reading some early Len Deighton spy books of late. These date from the 60's (and were filmed at the time with Michael Caine, but the films never took the style of the books.)
Here's a quote from Funeral in Berlin which features a marvellously funny although sinister character Colonel Stok of the KGB who has a whole bagful of black humour jokes..
"Your capitalism, how can it ever work. There is a village in Africa where the tribesmen stand in the deep crocodile infested water, fishing. They send the fish they catch for barter to the next village where the main industry is manufacturing wooden legs.
That's capitalism."
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