When I become Prime Minister

[mitch]

The first law that I will introduce will be a 50p fine for every fast food wrapper that is discarded on the public highway, with a bit of a twist it will not be the offender that I fine it will be the retailer. Living where we do we are obviously exactly a big mac and fries drive away from the drive through on Lloyds roundabout as the little darlings in they're Ford Fiesta's think it's perfectly okay to wind down their windows and gently toss they're discarded nosebag into the countryside.

Now if the fine was implimented I would self fund an army of litter police to collect the evidence and sting Maccy D's, KFC and every other outlet that is turning our yoof into obese hyperactive morons.

Yours truely

A very grumpy old man

 

[Mr X]

Agreed.

The law I would introduce would be to take away people's driving licences if they are caught using their mobile phones when there is a passenger in the car (or van more usually). There cannot be a single excuse for doing this when there is someone sitting right next to you and they could easily take the call or make the call.

 

[mickyboy]

There's a couple of things id like to introduce if i were PM.

1...........Get rid of 1p pieces so no more of this item for £4.99 for example, its £5.

and 2........ Ban all tv advertising on Christmas Day, surely they can do without for just ONE day........ Im sick of seeing DFS, SCS, IKEA Etc over and over again on xmas day.

 

[dylanf]

Id introduce instant execution, the the knifing range at the back of the courts. (No firing range as bullets cost money and you can reuse a knife)

Generally I would execute people who generally piss me off. This could be anything from driving like a dick in front of me or taking to long to get your wallet out in the shop if youre in front of me.

 

[Florence]

Worrying me a lot, dylanf.

 

[Pie & Ale]

There's a couple of things id like to introduce if i were PM.

1...........Get rid of 1p pieces so no more of this item for £4.99 for example, its £5.

and 2........ Ban all tv advertising on Christmas Day, surely they can do without for just ONE day........ Im sick of seeing DFS, SCS, IKEA Etc over and over again on xmas day.

Hi Mickyboy

Did you pay us a visit yet? See topic Pie & Ale House

Regards

 

[mickyboy]

There's a couple of things id like to introduce if i were PM.

1...........Get rid of 1p pieces so no more of this item for £4.99 for example, its £5.

and 2........ Ban all tv advertising on Christmas Day, surely they can do without for just ONE day........ Im sick of seeing DFS, SCS, IKEA Etc over and over again on xmas day.

Hi Mickyboy

Did you pay us a visit yet? See topic Pie & Ale House

Regards

Not yet, but will def be popping in for a pie n a pint in the not too distant future

 

[shoes]

Worrying me a lot, dylanf.

Lol he's got a point though! People seem to have no sense or urgency these days.

 

[tek-monkey]

He's South African, it explains a lot

 

[Gramaisc]

Worrying me a lot, dylanf.

Lol he's got a point though! People seem to have no sense or urgency these days.

I think she's feeling particularly vulnerable regarding his particular preferences.

 

[zakkwylde87]

First thing would be to install dancing girls into every establishment in Stafford. Nothing else, rest of the place is fine. Especially with dancing girls everywhere.

 

[Gramaisc]

Street lights removed.
Umbrellas banned.
Schools to be open during term-time.
False weather forecasting to become a crime.
News to become proportional to the importance of the event, not the space to be filled.
Evictions from TV 'reality' shows to result in deportation.
James Bolam to be required to agree to make 'What finally happened to the Likely Lads'.
etc.,

 

[ToriRat]

I'd ban the summer holidays they are a pain in the arse and even the kids get fed up after 6 weeks, noone can organise the childcare and they are a throwback to when kids used to get let out to help with the harvesting. 2 weeks at the start of the summer and another 1 at the end would be more than enough and with the extra two weeks at school maybe the little buggers will learn more.

 

[Mr X]

I agree with the street lights. They are necessary in key places like major junctions, but there isn't really a need for them in a lot of places. Cars have headlights to see where they are going so what is the point in making the place so bright that you could actually drive with your headlights off?!

Agree with umbrellas too. I get so fed up with having people ram them in your face as they walk along not watching where they are going. It's a disadvantage to being 6' that shorter people's umbrellas are right at eye level too.

I don't bother with weather forecasts any more. They never seem to be right more than a couple of hours in advance and by that point it's easier to just look out the window and make my own mind up!

News: I want to know why so long is spent covering events that don't really concern me. In the lead up to the US elections they seem to spend most of the programme covering that and just skip through UK news. I don't know who decides on the schedule but as you say the time spent on each story should relate to the importance.

Evictions: lol, I can think of a few reality tv contestants that need deporting...

 

[Florence]

Worrying me a lot, dylanf.

Lol he's got a point though! People seem to have no sense or urgency these days.

I think she's feeling particularly vulnerable regarding his particular preferences.

I am said dick.

 

[Gramaisc]

@ Mr X - you sound like a decent chap.

@ ToriRat - Don't move to Ireland :-

The academic year is composed of 167 schooldays and schools are not open in June, July or August (though for flexibility school may open for the first week of June or last two/three days of August).

When I told the kids nextdoor over there that they would only get six weeks in England they were horrified.

@ Florence - confession should lead to some mitigation, perhaps a smaller knife?

 

[db]

I'd ban the summer holidays they are a pain in the arse and even the kids get fed up after 6 weeks

i can honestly say that as a i child i never, ever, once got "fed up" with the summer holiday and wished it was shorter lol.. i get what you're saying, i am sure as a parent it's a nightmare, but if your kids honestly get fed up and wish they were back at school then i am amazed lol..

First thing would be to install dancing girls into every establishment in Stafford. Nothing else, rest of the place is fine. Especially with dancing girls everywhere.

it is hard to argue with logic like this.. zakkwylde87 for el presidente!

I agree with the street lights. They are necessary in key places like major junctions, but there isn't really a need for them in a lot of places. Cars have headlights to see where they are going so what is the point in making the place so bright that you could actually drive with your headlights off?!

street lights aren't just for cars, y'know! the place would feel a lot less safe to walk around at night if there was no lighting at all..

and headlights make it easy to see, as long as there aren't too many cars around.. driving on stretches of motorway/A roads without street lights it's a nightmare imo, because you end up being dazzled by the constant stream of oncoming traffic which makes it even harder to see what's going on on the road in front of you!

 

[dylanf]

He's South African, it explains a lot

Racist bastard

 

[Trumpet]

Fines and points for M/way lane hoggers and people that slow right down to rubberneck damaged cars on the hard shoulder after a minor shunt. If you want to see bent cars visit a scrap yard there's loads, all makes and colours.

 

[Mr X]

Fines and points for M/way lane hoggers and people that slow right down to rubberneck damaged cars on the hard shoulder after an minor shunt. If you want to see bent cars visit a scrap yard there's loads, all makes and colours.

You get my support with all this. The motorways are there to allow good traffic flow and its amazing how one car can cause so much trouble. The way I think about is that one car can basically turn a 3 lane road into a 1 lane road as everyone must pass to the right.

There's a statistic I can't be bothered to find about how many accidents are caused by people slowing down and not looking where they are going after an accident on the other side. I've sometimes wandered (or is that wondered? can't remember) why they can't erect some kind of screen along the central reservation so that you can't see the accident anyway so there's no reason to slow down.