1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Welcome to Stafford Forum. Please or sign-up and start posting!

Who pays for a funeral if the person who dies is poor?

Discussion in 'Lifestyle, Health & Diet' started by Jade-clothing, Jan 17, 2013.

  1. Jade-clothing

    Jade-clothing Well-Known Forumite

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2010
    Messages:
    2,659
    Likes Received:
    1,048
    I wonder if anyone can shed any light on this as information I have seen online seems a bit contradictory. I know it's not a very cheerful conversation but I was chatting with my Mum and Dad yesterday about what will happen when either or both of them die. From what I can find out online the person who organises the funeral with the funeral director is the person who has to pay for it. Other information suggests that if one of the next of kin is on benefit then it may be possible to get help with costs from the Social fund. My brother has been on incapacity benefit (or whatever its called these days) for years so if this is the case theoretically if he organises the funeral he could then claim for help. However once you then look into this further the information with the claim form for help says that if there are other next of kin who are able to pay the application will be unsuccessful.
    It would appear from talking to mum and dad that they have life policies that they have been paying into for years and years but which will only pay out about £1500 each - this seems like a really poor deal to me as I'm sure they have paid a lot more in than that amount but Mum can't remember what the policies are called so I can't look into why it seems such poor value. I doubt this will be enough to pay for a funeral which is what prompted me to look into this.
    Anything to do with my mum and dad drives me to distraction as they have to be the most frustrating couple I know - they don't have wills, they still have a building society passbook account as they don't trust direct debits, debit cards or cash point machines, they do have a mobile between them but never switch it on and it looks like a giant calculator the numbers are so big!! They hate change so aren't being forthcoming with info about these policies they have as the nice bloke who used to call round from Liverpool Vic when I was a kid for his few quid a week from them said they were the best policies to have and it wouldn't do to make a fuss about it apparantly!
     
  2.  


    Click here to register and never see these adverts again!

  3. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

    Joined:
    May 25, 2008
    Messages:
    47,583
    Likes Received:
    22,711
  4. Jade-clothing

    Jade-clothing Well-Known Forumite

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2010
    Messages:
    2,659
    Likes Received:
    1,048
    I've already read those G - from what I can tell it would seem as it's highly likely I will arrange the funeral, I will have to pay for it, or at least the shortfall when those ridiculous policies are cashed in.
    I will NEVER turn into my parents!!!!
     
  5. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

    Joined:
    May 25, 2008
    Messages:
    47,583
    Likes Received:
    22,711
    Mmm, you're not always the best judge of yourself..
     
    Jade-clothing likes this.
  6. littleme

    littleme 250,000th poster!

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2012
    Messages:
    10,123
    Likes Received:
    6,411
    My parents (in their 70s) are just as bad, they had me round last week to see why their mobile wouldn't send messages (the one that's either switched off, or lost in the house somewhere) I spent ages checking the settings as the parents are good at changing them, couldn't find anything wrong, eventually my husband had a look.....No credit on it! They seem to think they only have to top it up once, and its good forever.....and this is after orange cut their last one off cos they stuck it in the glovebox of the car (for emergencys) and didn't use it or top it up.......*SIGH*
     
  7. Jade-clothing

    Jade-clothing Well-Known Forumite

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2010
    Messages:
    2,659
    Likes Received:
    1,048
    At least they do occasionally switch it on and know how to send messages...... I've shown mum more times than I can remember how to text but she just doesn't get it and if she does by some miracle use it to make a call she doesn't have anyone saved in contacts - all numbers are written in her diary and she keys them in manually each time she uses it!
     
  8. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

    Joined:
    May 25, 2008
    Messages:
    47,583
    Likes Received:
    22,711
    You're lucky - mine are 82 & 87 - I got them a phone like this..
    [​IMG]
    ..because the first one 'was too small'.

    Theirs is turned on all the time, but only because they don't know how to turn it off. They were to ring me once to pick them up at an unpredictable time - when I answered the call, there was some strange woman talking to me, who had just happened to be walking past them at the time and had been cajoled into making the call for them on their phone...

    Their Main Contacts List is written on the back, in case they can't find the real list in the depths of the handbag.

    Text!? Are you mad? Don't even speak to them about that. What? Write someone a letter on the phone? Eh..?

    I just look at theirs every three months, just in case, and delete them - I get a landline call whenever it bleeps....
     
  9. Jade-clothing

    Jade-clothing Well-Known Forumite

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2010
    Messages:
    2,659
    Likes Received:
    1,048


    Haha That's the same phone my parents have - see what I mean about it looking like a giant calculator!
     
  10. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

    Joined:
    May 25, 2008
    Messages:
    47,583
    Likes Received:
    22,711
    Now, if we'd only put a phone socket in every lamppost in the 1970s, then there wouldn't be a problem at all. They could just plug a real phone in wherever they are - simple - no fuss.

    It took me a long time to get them to understand why the cordless house phone wouldn't work if they unplugged the base after they'd charged it...

    I still have my Sinclair Cambridge.
    [​IMG]
     
  11. Jade-clothing

    Jade-clothing Well-Known Forumite

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2010
    Messages:
    2,659
    Likes Received:
    1,048
    My mum can't work out the remote controls either, although Dad has just about managed to, nothing more complicated than changing channel or one touch recording though - all that setting things to record at a certain time is beyond him.
     
  12. Jade-clothing

    Jade-clothing Well-Known Forumite

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2010
    Messages:
    2,659
    Likes Received:
    1,048
    By the way if you think Mum's phone that looks like a calculator is big, you should see her calculator! She still has one that works, from the sixties or seventies that she plugs into the mains! Mind you it's so massive I can't imagine how many batteries would be required to work it!
     
  13. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

    Joined:
    May 25, 2008
    Messages:
    47,583
    Likes Received:
    22,711
    Mine have just gone digital, with a terrestrial and a satellite decoder in the one telly. We may have mastered that aspect at last, possibly - but the solid-state recording is proving to be a bit more difficult...
     
  14. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

    Joined:
    May 25, 2008
    Messages:
    47,583
    Likes Received:
    22,711
    Get her one of these..
    [​IMG]
    ..completely cordless and never even needs charging.

    I've got one, but it does weigh about ten pounds...
     
    Jade-clothing likes this.
  15. littleme

    littleme 250,000th poster!

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2012
    Messages:
    10,123
    Likes Received:
    6,411
    Lol, I suppose you're right, mine can text, email and buy random stuff online :) But this is only cos my dad is gadget mad....he doesn't however read the instructions for ANYTHING! So either my elder stepbrother or myself are regularly asked to go and explain things.....

    I'm dreading being in Jades predicament of having to discuss funeral arrangements, can't think of any other way of putting the 'what money have you got put away' conversation to go...... :(
     
  16. Jade-clothing

    Jade-clothing Well-Known Forumite

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2010
    Messages:
    2,659
    Likes Received:
    1,048
    Email, online??? My parents won't have anything to do with the internet, Mum would be mortified if she knew she was being talked about on here - she wouldn't be able to comprehend how there could possibly be anything about her on the net.
    It was actually them that brought the conversation up, so it wasn't too bad - at least I know what to expect now I've had a google, it's going to be a nightmare though at what will already be an upsetting time.
     
  17. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

    Joined:
    May 25, 2008
    Messages:
    47,583
    Likes Received:
    22,711
    Email? I might as well have a go at explaining the necessity for the existence of the Higgs boson.

    Online? That's to do with computers, isn't it?

    In fairness, though, electricity didn't arrive in the area until my dad was in his teens. I used to stay with my uncle in the old house in the '70s - the electrical installation was untouched from the '30s - a light in each room and one single socket in the kitchen. I once paid a summer electric bill for him, when I went into town whilst I was there - he had used two units.
     
  18. littleme

    littleme 250,000th poster!

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2012
    Messages:
    10,123
    Likes Received:
    6,411
    To be fair mine have brought it up before, but only in a jokey type of 'if one of us dies then the other is going to stuff the body in the chest freezer and continue claiming their pension, after all they've paid into it for years'.

    Back to the problem in hand though, its unlikely that both of your parents would die at the same time, so I would think the remaining parent would have to sort out the finances for the funeral, and maybe would get help from the social fund if they are pensioners/ in reciept of benefits?

    With the remaining parent responsibility would be shared between you and any siblings.
    When my stepmums mother died a few years ago, I believe the 4 children shared the cost, but were sort of reimbursed when the will was read, assets and home sold etc...

    Sorry if I'm sounding kind of blunt, but facts are facts and you really have me thinking now :(
     
    Gramaisc likes this.
  19. littleme

    littleme 250,000th poster!

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2012
    Messages:
    10,123
    Likes Received:
    6,411
    Also, have they made any kind of will? That would probably help if they have any assets that could be put towards any funeral costs.

    Wonder if funeral places do finance?

    Aggggg - millions if questions popping into my head now :(
     
  20. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

    Joined:
    May 25, 2008
    Messages:
    47,583
    Likes Received:
    22,711
    Lunar Scorpion likes this.
  21. littleme

    littleme 250,000th poster!

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2012
    Messages:
    10,123
    Likes Received:
    6,411
    There was a lady on tv last week who had buried her mother for virtually nothing, there was no ceremony, she dug the grave herself, just wrapped her in a sheet and plonked her in the hole... I said to husband that I thought you could only bury people on consecrated ground, but the tv programme said you just need the land owners permission!
     
    Lunar Scorpion likes this.

Share This Page