cookie_monster
Well-Known Forumite
did you get bored of people surviving yesterday?jchiltz said:
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Just Surviving
- Thread starter Astro Boy
- Start date
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tek-monkey
wanna see my snake?
I think I'll wear it thanks, better to give than to receive!jchiltz said:
ok, christmas is bearing down and there are not many weekends left for the shopping to be done so................
HOW TO EVADE A STAMPEDE OF SHOPPERS
React Immediately. Stay focused and visualise your goal. Reacting early and decisively in crowds affords you your best shot at survival.
Do not join the herd. You cannot shop if you cannot see the merchandise.
Do not move towards the herd. You risk being trampled if you try to thread your way through a stampede. If you are unable to get out of the way, wrap arms tightly around your packages and let yourself be carried along as you work your way to the outside.
Maximise your movement options. If you need to negotiate your way through a crowd, stay on the edge. Most shoppers will leave a few feet between themselves and surrounding walls, so you will have room to manoeuvre.
HOW TO EVADE A STAMPEDE OF SHOPPERS
React Immediately. Stay focused and visualise your goal. Reacting early and decisively in crowds affords you your best shot at survival.
Do not join the herd. You cannot shop if you cannot see the merchandise.
Do not move towards the herd. You risk being trampled if you try to thread your way through a stampede. If you are unable to get out of the way, wrap arms tightly around your packages and let yourself be carried along as you work your way to the outside.
Maximise your movement options. If you need to negotiate your way through a crowd, stay on the edge. Most shoppers will leave a few feet between themselves and surrounding walls, so you will have room to manoeuvre.
alwaysEARTHQUAKE!
If you are indoors, stay there! Get under a desk or table and hang onto it, or move into a doorway; the next best place is in a hallway or against an inside wall. Stay clear of windows, fireplaces, and heavy furniture or appliances. Get out of the kitchen, which is a dangerous place. Do not run downstairs or rush outside while the building is shaking or while there is danger of falling and hurting yourself or being hit by falling glass or debris.
If you are outside, get into the open, away from buildings, power lines, chimneys, and anything else that may fall on you.
If you are driving, stop carefully. Move your car as far out of traffic as possible. Do not stop on or under a bridge or overpass or under trees, lamp posts, power lines, or signs. Stay inside your car until the shaking stops. When you resume driving, watch for breaks in the road surface, fallen rocks, and bumps in the road at bridge approaches.
If you are in a mountainous area, watch for falling rocks, landslides, trees and other debris that could have been loosened by quakes.
If you are indoors, stay there! Get under a desk or table and hang onto it, or move into a doorway; the next best place is in a hallway or against an inside wall. Stay clear of windows, fireplaces, and heavy furniture or appliances. Get out of the kitchen, which is a dangerous place. Do not run downstairs or rush outside while the building is shaking or while there is danger of falling and hurting yourself or being hit by falling glass or debris.
If you are outside, get into the open, away from buildings, power lines, chimneys, and anything else that may fall on you.
If you are driving, stop carefully. Move your car as far out of traffic as possible. Do not stop on or under a bridge or overpass or under trees, lamp posts, power lines, or signs. Stay inside your car until the shaking stops. When you resume driving, watch for breaks in the road surface, fallen rocks, and bumps in the road at bridge approaches.
If you are in a mountainous area, watch for falling rocks, landslides, trees and other debris that could have been loosened by quakes.
HOW TO BLOCKADE A DOOR THAT OPENS IN.
Find a stationary wooden or metal chair.
Shut the door.
Place the chair about a foot from the door. How far you place it will depend upon how tall the chair’s back is, so adjust the distance accordingly.
Tilt the chair backwards so that the top of the chair is wedged underneath the doorknob. The seat should be facing upward. If necessary, pull the bottom of the chair out a bit so the top of the chair will fit under the knob.
Push down on the front of the seat or the bottom of the chair. When the chair is securely wedged, kick it further to make the blockade tight.
Place a large item of furniture directly against the chair. The chair, buttressed by other furniture, will make it extremely difficult to open the door from outside.
Find a stationary wooden or metal chair.
Shut the door.
Place the chair about a foot from the door. How far you place it will depend upon how tall the chair’s back is, so adjust the distance accordingly.
Tilt the chair backwards so that the top of the chair is wedged underneath the doorknob. The seat should be facing upward. If necessary, pull the bottom of the chair out a bit so the top of the chair will fit under the knob.
Push down on the front of the seat or the bottom of the chair. When the chair is securely wedged, kick it further to make the blockade tight.
Place a large item of furniture directly against the chair. The chair, buttressed by other furniture, will make it extremely difficult to open the door from outside.
Monday, December 10
TODAY IN SURVIVAL HISTORY
The United Nations General Assembly passed a resolution calling on states to ban mines on this day in 1996. The drafting of the resolution – on antipersonnel mines only – was surprisingly swift. The issue was brought to the international forum in 1993 and aided by the support of Princess Diana; a conference in Ottawa was convened three years later to debate the issue.
THERE ARE FOUR BASIC MINE TYPES
Tripwire mines. Stepping across a wire attached to the detonator will cause the mine to explode.
Direct pressure mines. Stepping down on a pressure sensitive pad will activate the detonator.
Timer mines. A timer can be an electrical clock, an electronic digital clock, a dripping / mixing chemical, or a simple mechanical timer that will detonate the mine.
Remote mines. My favourite. A remote mine can be detonated via an electrical charge across a wire (a ‘clacker’), via a radio signal, or from a heat or sound sensor.
TODAY IN SURVIVAL HISTORY
The United Nations General Assembly passed a resolution calling on states to ban mines on this day in 1996. The drafting of the resolution – on antipersonnel mines only – was surprisingly swift. The issue was brought to the international forum in 1993 and aided by the support of Princess Diana; a conference in Ottawa was convened three years later to debate the issue.
THERE ARE FOUR BASIC MINE TYPES
Tripwire mines. Stepping across a wire attached to the detonator will cause the mine to explode.
Direct pressure mines. Stepping down on a pressure sensitive pad will activate the detonator.
Timer mines. A timer can be an electrical clock, an electronic digital clock, a dripping / mixing chemical, or a simple mechanical timer that will detonate the mine.
Remote mines. My favourite. A remote mine can be detonated via an electrical charge across a wire (a ‘clacker’), via a radio signal, or from a heat or sound sensor.
dylanf
Fat Git
In todays uncertain climate it doesnt hurt to know how to make a nuclear weapon to retaliate against those teady bear hating merchants
First, obtain about 25 pounds (~10 kg) of Plutonium239 at your local supplier (see NOTES 1 & 2). A nuclear power plant is not recommended, as you'll have to extract and separate it from spent fuel rods, and it's a messy job. Besides, large quantities of missing Plutonium tends to make plant engineers unhappy. We suggest that you contact one of the former Soviet Republics, or perhaps the Junior Achievement in your neighborhood.
Fashion together a metal enclosure to house the device (Fig. 1). Most common varieties of sheet metal can be bent to disguise this enclosure as, for example; a briefcase, a lunch pail, or a Buick. Do not use tinfoil or gum wrappers.
Arrange the Plutonium into two hemispheral shapes (Fig. 2), separated by about 4 cm. Use rubber cement to hold the Plutonium dust together.
Now get about 100 pounds (44 kg) of trinitrotoluene (TNT). Gelignite is much better, but messier to work with. Your helpful hardware man or local Bomb Depot store will be happy to provide you with this item.
Pack the explosives around the hemisphere arrangement constructed in step 4. If you cannot find Gelignite, feel free to use TNT packed in with Playdoh or any modeling clay. Colored clay is acceptable, but there is no need to get fancy at this point.
Wrap this entire structure very tightly with duct tape (Fig. 3). Use a whole roll. This shall be the neutron reflector and inertial containment.
Insert the assembly from step 6 into the enclosure made in step 2. Use a strong glue such as "Crazy Glue" to bind the hemisphere arrangement against the enclosure to prevent accidental detonation which might result from vibration or mishandling.
To fabricate a detonator for the device, obtain a radio controlled (RC) servo mechanism, as found in RC model airplanes and cars. With a modicum of effort, a remote plunger can be made that will strike a detonator cap to effect a small explosion. These detonation caps can be found in the electrical supply section of your local supermarket. We recommend the "Blast-O-Mactic" brand because they are no deposit-no return.
Now hide the completed device from the neighbors and children. The garage is not recommended because of high humidity and the extreme range of temperatures experienced there. Nuclear materials corrode easily, and devices have been known to spontaneously detonate in these unstable conditions. The hall closet or under the sofa will be perfectly suitable.
Now you are the proud owner of a working nuclear device! It is a great ice-breaker at parties; is nice to cozy around on a cold night; and in a pinch, can be used for National Defense.
THEORY OF OPERATION
Oversimplified, the device basically works when the detonated TNT compresses the Plutonium into a critical mass (smaller sphere). The critical mass then produces a nuclear chain reaction similar to the domino chain reaction (discussed in this column, "Dominos on the March", February). The chain reaction happens really, really fast, which promptly produces a big explosion. And there you have it, a 10 kiloton party favor!
NOTES
1) Plutonium (PU), atomic number 94, is a radioactive metallic element formed by the decay of Neptunium and is similar in chemical structure to Uranium, Saturnium, Jupiternium, and Marsium. Not to be confused with Unobtanium or Balonium.
2) Please remember that Plutonium, especially pure, refined Plutonium, is somewhat dangerous. The shavings and dust have a nasty habit of igniting spontaneously, and are practically impossible to extinguish with materials found around the house.
Some Plutonium dust ignites spontaneously in a lab accident.
Wash your hands with soap and warm water after handling the material, and don't allow your children or pets to play in it or eat it. Any leftover Plutonium dust is excellent as an insect repellant. You may wish to keep the substance in a lead box if you can find one in your local junk yard, but an old coffee can will do nicely.
First, obtain about 25 pounds (~10 kg) of Plutonium239 at your local supplier (see NOTES 1 & 2). A nuclear power plant is not recommended, as you'll have to extract and separate it from spent fuel rods, and it's a messy job. Besides, large quantities of missing Plutonium tends to make plant engineers unhappy. We suggest that you contact one of the former Soviet Republics, or perhaps the Junior Achievement in your neighborhood.
Fashion together a metal enclosure to house the device (Fig. 1). Most common varieties of sheet metal can be bent to disguise this enclosure as, for example; a briefcase, a lunch pail, or a Buick. Do not use tinfoil or gum wrappers.
Arrange the Plutonium into two hemispheral shapes (Fig. 2), separated by about 4 cm. Use rubber cement to hold the Plutonium dust together.
Now get about 100 pounds (44 kg) of trinitrotoluene (TNT). Gelignite is much better, but messier to work with. Your helpful hardware man or local Bomb Depot store will be happy to provide you with this item.
Pack the explosives around the hemisphere arrangement constructed in step 4. If you cannot find Gelignite, feel free to use TNT packed in with Playdoh or any modeling clay. Colored clay is acceptable, but there is no need to get fancy at this point.
Wrap this entire structure very tightly with duct tape (Fig. 3). Use a whole roll. This shall be the neutron reflector and inertial containment.
Insert the assembly from step 6 into the enclosure made in step 2. Use a strong glue such as "Crazy Glue" to bind the hemisphere arrangement against the enclosure to prevent accidental detonation which might result from vibration or mishandling.
To fabricate a detonator for the device, obtain a radio controlled (RC) servo mechanism, as found in RC model airplanes and cars. With a modicum of effort, a remote plunger can be made that will strike a detonator cap to effect a small explosion. These detonation caps can be found in the electrical supply section of your local supermarket. We recommend the "Blast-O-Mactic" brand because they are no deposit-no return.
Now hide the completed device from the neighbors and children. The garage is not recommended because of high humidity and the extreme range of temperatures experienced there. Nuclear materials corrode easily, and devices have been known to spontaneously detonate in these unstable conditions. The hall closet or under the sofa will be perfectly suitable.
Now you are the proud owner of a working nuclear device! It is a great ice-breaker at parties; is nice to cozy around on a cold night; and in a pinch, can be used for National Defense.
THEORY OF OPERATION
Oversimplified, the device basically works when the detonated TNT compresses the Plutonium into a critical mass (smaller sphere). The critical mass then produces a nuclear chain reaction similar to the domino chain reaction (discussed in this column, "Dominos on the March", February). The chain reaction happens really, really fast, which promptly produces a big explosion. And there you have it, a 10 kiloton party favor!
NOTES
1) Plutonium (PU), atomic number 94, is a radioactive metallic element formed by the decay of Neptunium and is similar in chemical structure to Uranium, Saturnium, Jupiternium, and Marsium. Not to be confused with Unobtanium or Balonium.
2) Please remember that Plutonium, especially pure, refined Plutonium, is somewhat dangerous. The shavings and dust have a nasty habit of igniting spontaneously, and are practically impossible to extinguish with materials found around the house.
Some Plutonium dust ignites spontaneously in a lab accident.
Wash your hands with soap and warm water after handling the material, and don't allow your children or pets to play in it or eat it. Any leftover Plutonium dust is excellent as an insect repellant. You may wish to keep the substance in a lead box if you can find one in your local junk yard, but an old coffee can will do nicely.
tek-monkey
wanna see my snake?
You'd get a fair few handbags outta him! Few good meals too, he's a beast! Seems to be missing some of his 'meal' though.....
cookie_monster
Well-Known Forumite
thats just put me right off my cheese and pickle buttie that......wheres monquey, he's not in oz is he? 
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MISTLETOE POISONING
Determine if real berries have been ingested. Many Mistletoe distributors replace natural berries with plastic ones, which are light coloured and waxy looking. Check the Mistletoe to see if the remaining berries are real; if they are go to the last paragraph of this post.
Look for missing or chewed leaves. Mistletoe leaves contain fewer toxins than berries, but present another danger: They have a protein that causes severe gastrointestinal pain, cramping and diarrhoea. Unlike berries, leaves on packaged Mistletoe are generally natural.
Watch for the symptoms of Mistletoe poisoning. Look for severe intestinal distress in the form of vomiting, gagging, and diarrhoea. Ingesting fewer than three berries or two leaves is unlikely to produce significant clinical effects in pets or humans and probably does not require treatment. (Hmmm, depends on how much you care for your 3 year old!)
Call a veterinarian or poison control centre. Follow the specialists instructions for dealing with poison.
Determine if real berries have been ingested. Many Mistletoe distributors replace natural berries with plastic ones, which are light coloured and waxy looking. Check the Mistletoe to see if the remaining berries are real; if they are go to the last paragraph of this post.
Look for missing or chewed leaves. Mistletoe leaves contain fewer toxins than berries, but present another danger: They have a protein that causes severe gastrointestinal pain, cramping and diarrhoea. Unlike berries, leaves on packaged Mistletoe are generally natural.
Watch for the symptoms of Mistletoe poisoning. Look for severe intestinal distress in the form of vomiting, gagging, and diarrhoea. Ingesting fewer than three berries or two leaves is unlikely to produce significant clinical effects in pets or humans and probably does not require treatment. (Hmmm, depends on how much you care for your 3 year old!)
Call a veterinarian or poison control centre. Follow the specialists instructions for dealing with poison.
cookie_monster
Well-Known Forumite
you also need to be careful with pet/babies and poinsettas.....they are poisonous too.
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cookie_monster
Well-Known Forumite
damn right.....they can kill your social life if you let them!dirtybobby said:pets and babies are poisonous?? well that's rained on my paradecookie_monster said:
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HOW TO RECOGNISE LYME DISEASE
A round “bulls eye†rash on the skin, which may be very small or up to twelve inches across.
Rashes or skin bruising that may mimic common skin problems, including hives, eczema, sunburn, poison ivy, and fleabites. The rash will look like a bruise if you have dark skin.
Flu-like symptoms days or weeks after a bite: aches and pains in the muscles and joints, low-grade fever, and fatigue.
Other systemic symptoms, which can affect virtually any organ in the body, include: jaw pain; frequent of painful urination and/or repeated urinary tract infections; respiratory infection, cough, asthma, and pneumonia; ear pain, hearing loss, ringing, sensitivity to noise; sore throat, swollen glands; headaches, facial paralysis, seizures, meningitis, stiff neck; burning, tingling or prickling sensations; loss of coordination; stomach pain, diarrhoea, nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramps, loss of appetite; irregular heartbeat, palpitations, enlarged heart, fainting, inflammation of muscle membrane, shortness of breath, and chest pain.
A round “bulls eye†rash on the skin, which may be very small or up to twelve inches across.
Rashes or skin bruising that may mimic common skin problems, including hives, eczema, sunburn, poison ivy, and fleabites. The rash will look like a bruise if you have dark skin.
Flu-like symptoms days or weeks after a bite: aches and pains in the muscles and joints, low-grade fever, and fatigue.
Other systemic symptoms, which can affect virtually any organ in the body, include: jaw pain; frequent of painful urination and/or repeated urinary tract infections; respiratory infection, cough, asthma, and pneumonia; ear pain, hearing loss, ringing, sensitivity to noise; sore throat, swollen glands; headaches, facial paralysis, seizures, meningitis, stiff neck; burning, tingling or prickling sensations; loss of coordination; stomach pain, diarrhoea, nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramps, loss of appetite; irregular heartbeat, palpitations, enlarged heart, fainting, inflammation of muscle membrane, shortness of breath, and chest pain.