Forum O. G.
I arrived at an old codger's house once, a bloke who was concerned about having too much in savings, but not prepared to spend anything, just in case...telling them to go on holiday every month. 'But we don't know where we fancy'. Just get on an effing plane.
As I entered, another friend of his, a retired vicar, was leaving, and looking very despondent.
"What was up with Roger?", I asked. "He wanted me to go on pilgrimage with him, but I managed to get out of it by not having a passport", he said, quite pleased with himself for having such a good excuse immediately to hand.
I asked him where the pilgrimage was going to and he told me.
I had to get his old school atlas out to show him where the exotic-sounding Lindisfarne actually is...
He thought it was in Italy.