Tech rant

theflamingred

Well-Known Forumite
I've been inspired - I just found the rant thread in the general chat, but thought that it might be good for people's stress levels to have a tech specific rant.

Not hugely techy but here's a couple of things people say that make me wonder why I didn't become dinner lady:

- Yeah, don't worry, I don't need training on the website system thingy. I build websites all the time, just save the Word doc as a webpage. Nifty that isn't it.

- I was working on a complicated vector composite one day and there's a meeting going on in the office between the boss and some catering staff. Catering staff then proceed to go on about how it must be really nice to sit about all day getting paid to do colouring in.

- <Client> We're going to have podcasts.
<Me> What about?
<Client> Haven't thought about that yet - but the competition is offering them so we need them. People download them here.
<Me> What about subscription?
<Client> Eh?
<Me> No rss or atom feed, no subscription, it's not a podcast.
<Client> Oh really? What is a podcast anyway?
 

db

#chaplife
theflamingred said:
but the competition is offering them so we need them.
i hear that, girlfriend! :nyd:

that's a real pet hate of mine as well.. my boss is always trying to get us to come up with "viral marketing" ideas because "everyone's doing them"..

theflamingred said:
<Client> Oh really? What is a podcast anyway?
:rofl:

i hate vendors who only offer support via foreign call centres.. i'm trying to get an RMA for a quantum auto-loader at the moment and it's an absolute nightmare :angry:
 

theflamingred

Well-Known Forumite
dirtybobby said:
i'm trying to get an RMA for a quantum auto-loader at the moment and it's an absolute nightmare :angry:
Oh dear - what happened?

Just remembered...

One summer I felt an especially valued employee (not current employer) when they finally gave my office two mobile air conditioning units. It was a stiffling summer.

The following week they removed said air con units and put them in the server room. Yeah, it's ok if I die of heat stroke as long as the servers don't over heat.
 

jimbob23

Official 1000th poster
People at our hospital keep suggesting putting podcasts on our website to me.

Who in the name of shitting crikey wants to hear a hospital podcast?
 

theflamingred

Well-Known Forumite
jimbob23 said:
Who in the name of shitting crikey wants to hear a hospital podcast?
They just want to be seen to be using the tech - no thought seems to go in to good content.

I find it most annoying when I subscribe to something that sounds interesting and it turns out to be regular hour long slots that aren't scripted and consist mostly of the word, "Erm..."

I know someone who was doing a series for a financial firm on pensions. Pensions! :zzz:
 

victoriab

victoriaboyle.co.uk
I know Websense has been mentioned before at certain times, but I have about 2 and a half minutes before my quota of time for 'general' web useage runs out. SO, does anyone know of any possible way of getting round websense i.e. for web msn etc? I'm going absolutely bonkers. I've got 60 minutes a day in blocks of 5 minutes to use for general web usage which basically means I can occasionally check this place and hotmail. If anyone can help I'll buy you as many pints as you want, and maybe a small pet.
 

Wookie

Official Forum Linker
noir2985 said:
I know Websense has been mentioned before at certain times, but I have about 2 and a half minutes before my quota of time for 'general' web useage runs out. SO, does anyone know of any possible way of getting round websense i.e. for web msn etc? I'm going absolutely bonkers. I've got 60 minutes a day in blocks of 5 minutes to use for general web usage which basically means I can occasionally check this place and hotmail. If anyone can help I'll buy you as many pints as you want, and maybe a small pet.
Easy. Get yourself an Internet-capable mobile phone.
Stuff the pints, buy me the bottle.

:P

Seriously though, what possibilities are available? Can you plug a flash drive in? Do they restrict the software you can use to a preset list? Can you install software on the machine? How are your time limits enforced, and what happens at the end of them?
*Details*, please :)
 

victoriab

victoriaboyle.co.uk
Wookie said:
Easy. Get yourself an Internet-capable mobile phone.
That would make it much harder to pretend I'm working!


Wookie said:
Seriously though, what possibilities are available? Can you plug a flash drive in?
I think so.... I have USB ports. So do I just put the program on the drive and run it from there, it's that easy?
Wookie said:
Do they restrict the software you can use to a preset list? Can you install software on the machine?
I don't think so, I'm logged on as someone else so I don't think I'd want to do that.
Wookie said:
How are your time limits enforced, and what happens at the end of them?
It kicks me off the page I'm looking at if it's a restricted one. Damn and blast!!
 

Wookie

Official Forum Linker
noir2985 said:
Wookie said:
Easy. Get yourself an Internet-capable mobile phone.
That would make it much harder to pretend I'm working!
Not if you can get the PC to see it via Bluetooth and use it as a modem... :P
Yay! Criminally slow web access! :)
 

djwellis

Well-Known Forumite
Two words for a tech rant forum..

AOL, Norton...

Oh, possibly with "tech support" thrown in too.
Too many of my clients have these ghastly things...
 

theflamingred

Well-Known Forumite
djwellis said:
Two words for a tech rant forum..

AOL, Norton...
Bravo! :clap:

Norton's a bummer but have had more grief from McAfee.

I have another now. It's not a tech rant strictly, more of a PEBKAC rant:

Send out email to all users of system advising them not to upgrade to IE 7 as CMS does not currently work in IE 7, but an upgrade in early autumn will enable compatibility.

Following week, receive lots of irate phone calls saying the CMS is broken. I ask, in an exhasperated manner, "Have you just upgraded to IE 7?"

User says, "Yeah, what's that got to do with anything?"

Me - :emo:
 

Wookie

Official Forum Linker
theflamingred said:
djwellis said:
Two words for a tech rant forum..

AOL, Norton...
Bravo! :clap:

Norton's a bummer but have had more grief from McAfee.

I have another now. It's not a tech rant strictly, more of a PEBKAC rant:

Send out email to all users of system advising them not to upgrade to IE 7 as CMS does not currently work in IE 7, but an upgrade in early autumn will enable compatibility.

Following week, receive lots of irate phone calls saying the CMS is broken. I ask, in an exhasperated manner, "Have you just upgraded to IE 7?"

User says, "Yeah, what's that got to do with anything?"

Me - :emo:
http://www.theregister.co.uk/odds/bofh/
 

theflamingred

Well-Known Forumite
tek-monkey said:
http://www.weakendproductions.co.uk/movs/jebsjobs.html
Ha - genius. I have seen that before, quite some time ago, but it never fails to amuse :)

Skill point there my dear fellow - for putting a smile on my otherwise grumpy and stressed face.
 

tek-monkey

wanna see my snake?
Glad to cheer you up :)

There's a few more tech support cartoons here, number 4 (top right) is NOT work safe!

http://www.illwillpress.com/vault.html

And one on youtube: http://youtube.com/watch?v=diWiXvvR8HA

Can you tell I'm te only one in the office today? ;)
 
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