Will Someone Have Sex With Me?

O

Obi Wan Kenobi

Active Member
Forumites, I ask of you all so that one might make an old Jedi happy.

Unfortunately, I have not experienced the pleasures of the flesh since the Clone Wars. Even then I was forced to relieve my tension into a Bantha's Booty, and I assure you forumites, Bantha Booty is not of the most fragrant variety.

Of course if Quai Gon were here I would not have to make such a public declaration of desires, but alas he is not...

Please reply here, or PM me if you feel it to be a little undignified to respond under the watchful gaze of the other forumites.

Many Thanks,

Obi

PS: My Light Sabre, is pretty big. If you know what I mean.
 
My Name is URL

My Name is URL

Well-Known Forumite
Obi Wan Kenobi said:
I have not experienced the pleasures of the flesh since the Clone Wars.
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Jeez, every post you make relates back to the clone wars.... have you not been in any others...... i'm starting to think maybe you aren't a real Jedi :D
 
tek-monkey

tek-monkey

wanna see my snake?
Obi Wan Kenobi said:
PS: My Light Sabre, is pretty big. If you know what I mean.
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I may be able to hook you up with someone on tattoine that loves that shiz. Oh, she's a reet dirty little jawa, be sure to use a force field though. Failing that, there is always 'rear' Admiral Akbar?
 
MyCult

MyCult

SEO to the FACE
Not too sure how you'd feel about this.. But you could always sleep with the enemy...

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O

Obi Wan Kenobi

Active Member
My dearest forumites, it is fortunate for myself that as a Jedi and a creature of peace that I do not feel the needle of your jibes, or perhaps in my old age I have developed a sense of humour. Solitude does strange things to man, even a Jedi.

However, I must relay to you the importance of The Clone Wars. These wars were deeply significant for a variety of reasons that, if I were to tell you, would shock you beyond the description of mere words. The Clone Wars were a time of great destruction, but in the same instance times of great creation.

We talk of good and evil in the galaxy, and it is true that these two diametrically opposing forces do exist, they do not exist in the way that your mind or my own understand them. When evil rules the land, it is a type of good, for it rules, it orders, after the chaos. And good, in its strange dichotomy with evil, even when ruling, can be a form of evil, for it seeks to contain, to control and to dictate what is right.

It may seem paradoxical to you, my fellow beings of the flesh, but behind the curtains of temporal existence, good and evil are one. In the existence of things as we see them, these two entities merely play out the cosmic battle between the process of creation, freedom, chaos, destruction and the momentary equilibrium that briefly arises before the process begins once more.

This maybe hard to understand, it may seem almost unbelievable or even abhorrent. But, I assure you my fellow forumites of the galaxy of Stafford it is in fact wonderous, it is eternity. The Clone Wars were the true peaks of exchange of blows between the two forces. If Quai Gon were here now he would find words far more powerful and majestic than my own but alas...

Finally though, if you could possibly pass on my details to the hot stuff in the helmet and tell her I'd gladly show her mine, if you know what I mean, there is life in this old dog yet after all...
 
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