Targeted Advertising.

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
I've had an email from eBay offering me "Everything you need to have fun in the Sun".

The specific items offered are :-

Eight (indoor) clocks.
Three (mains powered) DAB radios
A light fitting
A light bulb
A masonic edition of the King James version of the Bible.

They appear to not have a lot of faith in the oncoming weather.
 

Thehooperman

Well-Known Forumite
I've had an email from eBay offering me "Everything you need to have fun in the Sun".

The specific items offered are :-

Eight (indoor) clocks.
Three (mains powered) DAB radios
A light fitting
A light bulb
A masonic edition of the King James version of the Bible.

They appear to not have a lot of faith in the oncoming weather.


Perhaps they meant the Sun on Lichfield road.

Oh no another thread derailed with pub talk :)
 

BobClay

Well-Known Forumite
Got this email today which made me laugh !! 'plan for the future ?' ... 'funeral director ?' The only plan they've got in mind is a wooden box and a six foot slot in the f****** ground.
No sale here people !! I've donated my shell to medical research in the hope bits of me will be kept in glass flasks to be ogled by female medical students. (That's assuming there are any bits left the way things are going .... :heyhey::teef: )

Funeral.jpg
 

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
Fortnum & Mason think that I should buy all my Valentine's Day gifts from them.


Presumably, somebody, somewhere, has got some money from them for supplying this 'lead' - good.
 

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
I can apply for a job at a care home in Edinburgh.

And I've had an advert on Facebook, entirely in Japanese. I was about to attempt a bit of translation to see what it was, but the pictures make it fairly likely that it's a slimming product, which is not high on my 'Wanted' list.
 

timmo

Well-Known Forumite
I can apply for a job at a care home in Edinburgh.

And I've had an advert on Facebook, entirely in Japanese. I was about to attempt a bit of translation to see what it was, but the pictures make it fairly likely that it's a slimming product, which is not high on my 'Wanted' list.
The sheer amount of tat and dodgy stuff flogged through Facebook is quite concerning.
 

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
Twice today, I have been exhorted to become 'an enthusiastic maths teacher' at a school in Stoke*, which is, apparently, "Rated as good by Osted", which seems to be a town in Denmark, unless the reason they weren't 'excellent' was some spelling issues?


Obviously, I would not think of inflicting such a dreadful experience on anybody, even something as lowly as a Stokie.
 

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
It is, as we all know, getting much harder to spot what is a spoof and what is merely the output of people totally divorced from reality.

I have just had an invitation to apply to join Staffordshire County Council's newly formed Traffic and Network Management Team.

There are several things that make me wonder - have they just noticed the need to have a go at some of the chaos around us? Etc...

They say they want individuals who are "enthusiastic, diligent and (believe it or not) proactive".

Somehow, I suspect people who fit that bill would soon be disappointed by their life choice...
 

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
Facebook wants me to get in contact with Leicestershire's largest stockist of frozen mice.


I'll make a note, in case of future eventualities.
 

BobClay

Well-Known Forumite
OK OK. I know I'm not the greatest culinary expert. (Although I can make a mean bowl of milk and Weetabix.) But that's no reason for Amazon to send me this email this morning. (To the best of my knowledge I've never bought one of these from Amazon, so must be the Cookie Monsters.)

Amazon are having a go at me I think .... :eek::P:facepalm:

TinOpeners.jpg
 

BobClay

Well-Known Forumite
Sky have just sent me a choice of 'VIP Rewards.'

I can:
Get outside this summer with Peppa Pig ..... :urgh:
Travel back to the 60's, 70's and 80's with the Osmonds ... :barf: (The only way you'd get me into the same room as the ******* Osmonds is if you supply me with a Thompson submachine gun loaded with depleted uranium bullets which are Mercury tipped.)

A football match ..... :emo:

Watch the LEGO Batman movie for free. :o:eek:

I wonder what you get if you're not a VIP, 10 years hard labour I should think.

😨😨😨😨😨😰😰😰😰😰
 
Top