Today I Heard.....

staffordjas

staffordjas

Well-Known Forumite
"I'm stripping stark b0llock naked"
" take your boxers off , wash em & dry under the hand drier"
Whilst in the underground ladies Loos of a posh pub , over hearing a group of men in the gents next door.
 
Gramaisc

Gramaisc

Forum O. G.
staffordjas said:
staffordjas said:
"I'm stripping stark b0llock naked"
" take your boxers off , wash em & dry under the hand drier"
Whilst in the underground ladies Loos of a posh pub , over hearing a group of men in the gents next door.
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I'd already warned hubby " if I'm not back in 10 minutes come & check on me"

Not a fan of these isolated underground loos
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Mudgie said:
It was too busy a week for many pisses with having taken them round the pubs of Huddersfield, Manchester, Preston and Stockport during the preceding days.
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I wondered if there might have been a diversion on the way back and somebody had blown a fitting?
 
E

EasMid

Well-Known Forumite
“For services to hospitality” FFS
I could understand if it was for services to the carpet glue industry.
It int wot you know,
 
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Thehooperman

Thehooperman

Well-Known Forumite
EasMid said:
“For services to hospitality” FFS
I could understand if it was god services to the carpet glue industry.
It int wot you know,
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Well I think it's a well deserved Knighthood if only for keeping all of the low lifes out of the pubs I like to drink in.

Where would we be without the likes of Spoons, Hogwarts and the Coach?
 
basil

basil

don't mention the blinds
person answering phone on train,

'Oim gettin a cab from trent valley , I ain't sin mi farking doorter fur a week'.....

Lucky daughter.....
 
Theresa Green

Theresa Green

Well-Known Forumite
That, possibly maybe but not definitely

A male , possibly being inpersuited by plod, legged it up the multi storey car park at the station, then lept from said car park to a nearby tree. Unfortunately for the male, the tree was not really that near

Of course this is pub talk so much be taken with a slice of machete or a pinch of salts
 
Thehooperman

Thehooperman

Well-Known Forumite
Over breakfast I overheard two couples discussing horseracing and they seemed quite knowledgeable until I heard them talking about I am Maximus, yesterday's National winner.

It went something like this "Well if he wins more than one National his stud fees will increase and there'll be lots of little I am Maximus's running around". The others agreed and continued the conversation along similar lines.

They were most disappointed when I pointed out that he was a gelding as are most National Hunt horses. The response I received was "oh well I'm sure his foals will be lovely even if they're not pedigree" 😂😂😂😂😂
 
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