Today I Heard.....

[Stafford publishers]

I need some fresh air.. I’m going out for a fag!

 

[Trumpet]

Middle aged lady to young mum in Sainsbugs Witney "Oh hasn't she grown, she's a sentient human being now"

 

[Gramaisc]

Middle aged lady to young mum in Sainsbugs Witney "Oh hasn't she grown, she's a sentient human being now"

I've been in there with Dave Gorman's father - it's a weird place - like a film-set for a surreal sit-com, set in a bizarre supermarket-like parallel universe.

 

[Trumpet]

Now that you mention it .

 

[tek-monkey]

Shouty Asian Cyclist yelling at halfords staff, then cars, then cycling against the traffic flow and informing a few other road users of his carefully considered opinion .

 

[Tilly]

Shouty Asian Cyclist yelling at halfords staff, then cars, then cycling against the traffic flow and informing a few other road users of his carefully considered opinion .

[url=https://postimages.org/] [/URL]

 

[tek-monkey]

I'll confess to having no idea of his ethnic origin, shall I just call him that prick on a bike from now on?

 

[Tilly]

I'll confess to having no idea of his ethnic origin, shall I just call him that prick on a bike from now on?

 

[Sir BoD]

I'll confess to having no idea of his ethnic origin, shall I just call him that prick on a bike from now on?

Well his surname seems to suggest Pakistani origin, but then again, I'm pasty white.

Yours sincerely,

Rabbie McGabe.

 

[Gramaisc]

...someone, who is a rare poster on this Forum, genuinely complain that it has been too wet lately to go swimming.

 

[Gramaisc]

Parent - What is one and six?

Child - Seven!

P - No.

C - Yes it is!

P - No, it's sixteen.

C- It's not, it's seven!

P - No, I'm talking about numbers, not adding - it's sixteen.

C - Silence.......


I was going to suggest it was actually seven and a half.

(Pence in new money, that is - but, we could have been there all day......)

 

[Thehooperman]

Just heard the first ice cream van of the year.

Wahey summer's here

 

[Tilly]

 

[Withnail]

 

[Gramaisc]

... my internal text predictor make a slight error.

What actually happened was -

Charity Shop Worker No 1 - "Has any new stuff come in today?"

Charity Shop Worker No 2 - "Not much, just a bag of shoes."

That isn't what I thought he was going to say...

 

[Withnail]

Why can't they just get on with it?

 

[littleme]

A certain someone ( @Glam ) , scream 'Shut up you silly bitch', right in my earhole.....

 

[Glam]

A certain someone ( @Glam ) , scream 'Shut up you silly bitch', right in my earhole.....

That was hilarious! 'specially when your friend thought I was screaming it at you!

 

[littleme]

That was hilarious! 'specially when your friend thought I was screaming it at you!

I think she thought I was screaming it at you - I nearly got the sack! Still, it was the highlight of my day! X

 

[Glam]

I think she thought I was screaming it at you - I nearly got the sack! Still, it was the highlight of my day! X

I hate them self service ones, but there's only certain staff whos till I'll go to. You, the lovely Tina etc