Children say the funniest things, tell us your kiddie quotes.

[Mrs M]

One of my children (aged 7) has decided that it is cruel to eat meat. He says it's not fair and should be banned. I said 'oh does that mean you're going to become a vegitarian,?' He looked at me and laughed, 'Don't be silly mummy, I can't become a vegitarian'. 'Why is that?' I asked ' because, I'm already a Taurus silly'. Doh, silly me.

The funniest though was my eldest son, who is now 9 but said this when he was about 6.

Whilst sitting in Asda cafe he asked, 'Mummy, whats abortion?' you can imagine my horror that such a young child should ask a question like this. Especially as it's my policy to answer my children truthfully. After some thought of how I would address this question as tactfully as possible I asked ' where did you hear about this.' to which he promptl replied, 'You'! 'when did I say it' I asked, 'Just,' he said 'you asked for abortion of chips'!!!!! Thank goodness I didn't answer his question straight away.

 

[cookie_monster]

priceless.

do you remember that ronnie corbett program that used to be on saturday early evenings ages ago. it was crap, but it is true, kids do say the funniest things.


x

 

[MISS T]

My 4 year old has a healthy interest atm for other countries, China in particular.

He also has a healthy imagination, I had an imaginary friend when young, Finbar has an imaginary life. He lived in China some twenty years ago and everything there is bigger and better. We went to 'Autumn Towers' last week, he didn't want to go on most rides as he'd done them all faster, higher, scarier in China. If he doesn't want to eat something it's because he's already tasted it in China and didn't like it.
He basically uses 'China' as a way of telling big fat porkies, and we just have to nod along and believe him.

And you get to China via train, airp-plane, boat, car, taxi, two header car.

When he grows up he's going to work with Grandad, be a paintballer, drive a formula 1 car, one week and the safety car the next week.

 

[Mrs M]

My 5 year old also has an imaginary friend too,an imaginary grandad. He also has an imaginary dog called Roford who has broken legs at the moment so he has to stay in with him and play xbox. If he doesn't like anything, he says he's had it at grandads and doesn't like it and so on, it's quite sad really because he only has one granddad who lives in the outer hebrides, he is desperate for a granddad to take him to places and do graddad stuff. We could do with adopting one.

 

[theflamingred]

I don't have kids - but I do have siblings a lot younger than myself. When I visit they are a constant source of amusement to me. I pick on them something rotten

One day I asked my sister to draw the curtains. She stood there for a while staring at them. When I enquired as to what she was doing she asked me for a pencil and paper.

Once at a family dinner my sister dutifully informed the table that people really do have tails. Daddy has one, she saw it when he was in the bath. I nearly choked on my food.

 

[age'd parent]

while kissing the kids goodnight, 3 year old Tammy says, "you crippled me daddy."

After a blank moment looking at her legs, I realized I hadn't shaved that day.

 

[Lisa]

I remember walking through a children's playground on my way to visit a friend of mine, who lived in the court that said playground backed onto. Two young kids, a boy and a girl who I reckon didnt look much older than 6, were having an argument over something. The boy called his friend a lesbian.
Her retort? 'I cant be a lesbian! Im a girl!!'

 

[theflamingred]

http://www.theromantic.com/humor/kidsviews.htm

I like the very last one at the bottom from Ricky, aged 10. Boy's gonna go a long way.

 

[Gramaisc]

Florence has one for here. I wonder if she's prepared to submit it?

 

[Florence]

Which one? There are so many... Ah yes...

We were playing the Yes No game one day and I was asking the questions. I asked the youngest boy "What are you not allowed to say?" with a snigger he replies "B*gger and sh*t."

I'm sure Gramaisc could remind me of a few more.

 

[Josie]

I have a few funnies lol!

Firstly my little brother at the age of three (being too clever for his own good) was listening to my mum and I talk and she said that someone was a b.i.t.c.h. She spelt it out. Two days later we were sitting down and I can't remember what I said to annoy him but he turned around and said to me 'your a b.i.c.h' (missed out the 'T') I was shocked! I told him off for saying that word and he said Im not saying it im saying the numbers! He didnt do it again but it was a bit of a shock!

He also tried to ask one of my mum's friends why they had boobies and he didnt at about the same age!

 

[Gramaisc]

cat_woman's middle one was reading out the ingredients on a bottle of sauce and came to a previously unknown substance - molasses.

'What's a mollas?', he asked - great fun.

 

[Admin]

I have a few funnies lol!

Hi Josie, welcome to The Forum

 

[Gramaisc]

I'm so sorry, Josie. I didn't spot your virginity. How remiss of me! Welcome. Beware of most of the others.

 

[basil]

Hi Josie, i take it you are not the cartoon Josie who was followed around by 'the pussycats'.....

 

[age'd parent]

hi josie and welcome, take no notice of these reprobates, I'm the only sane one and I have a discharge certificate from St Georges to prove it

 

[Gramaisc]

I'm the only sane one and I have a discharge

Not the best of chat-up lines....

 

[djstaffs]

The other day my 3year old daughter came out with a corker which nearly got me in to trouble...

On the Sunday she had overheard me and my wife talking about just the usual things, one of which was the fact that at work we had someone new starting, a new girl.

Next day at toddler group with my wife my little darling said said nice and loud "Why does daddy have a new girl?"

Thankfully my wife was there to explain....

 

[ToriRat]

Upon being asked how he enjoyed his first day at school aged just 4 and 2 months my son replied.
"It was very undignified." I know the feeling son....

Thomas and friends has expanded his vocabulary to breaking point he's the only 5 year old I know who uses avalanche, buffers, caboose, and coupling rods in general conversation...

 

[John Marwood]

i blame the parents