Give us a joke... go on it might be funny :)

V

victoriab

victoriaboyle.co.uk
Amusing alternative film names (old but good):

GLAD-HE-ATE-HER
Shaving Ryan’s Privates
Sex Trek
Buffy the Vampire Layer
A Clockwork Orgy
Clitopatra
The Sperminator
All Anal on the Western Front
Bra Wars: May the Foreskin Be With You
Bangin' Miss Daisy
Bravecock
Sperms of Endearment
Edward Penishands
Lust of the Mohicans
Beverly Hills Copulator
Romancing the Bone
Schindlers Fist
A Back Passage to India
Good Will Humping
When Harry Ate Sally
The Rodfather (I, II, III)
Pulp Friction
CliffBanger
Interview with a Vibrator
28 Gays Later
Butch Lesbian and the Lap Dance Kid
Crouching Penis Hidden Vagina
Diddle-Her on the Roof
Gang Bangs of New York
Inspect-Her Gadget
Lawrence of a Labia
Porn on the Fourth of July
Saturday Night Beaver
Sheepless in Seattle
There's Something In and Out of Mary
The Porn Identity
Willy Wanker and the Fudge Packing Factory
 
FooFighter

FooFighter

Well-Known Forumite
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most
of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day.

Mick, the bartender says, " You'll not be drinking anymore tonight
Paddy.

Paddy replies, "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then."

Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his
face. "Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts
himself off.

He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, "Shoite,
Shoite!"

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just
get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls
to the door and shimmies up the door frame. He sticks his head
outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better
and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.

"Bi'Jesus... I'm fockin' focked," he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door,
hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He
takes a look up the stairs and says "No fockin' way". He crawls up the
stairs to his bedroom door and says "I can make it to the bed."

He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says "Fock
it" and falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife Jess comes into the room carrying a cup of
coffee and says, "Get up Paddy.
Did you have a bit to drink last night?".

Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was fockin' pissed. But how'd you know?"

"Mick phoned, . . . You left your wheelchair at the pub."
 
T

taitou

Alan
noooooooo! beaten to it! :(

In that case, I'll have fall back on a couple of limericks then - :P

A horny young lady named Lil
screwed a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
in north Carolina
and bits of her tits in Brazil!

------------------

There was a young man from Majorca
whose bird was an absolute corker.
Her curvaceous figure
filled him with vigour
and thrills as he managed to pork 'er
 
db

db

#chaplife
taitou said:
A horny young lady named Lil
screwed a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
in north Carolina
and bits of her tits in Brazil!

------------------

There was a young man from Majorca
whose bird was an absolute corker.
Her curvaceous figure
filled him with vigour
and thrills as he managed to pork 'er
Click to expand...
:rofl: lol quality..
 
C

cookie_monster

Well-Known Forumite
You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are
actually either male or female.
Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male,
because they hold everything
in, but you can see right
through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are
female, because once turned
off, it takes a while to warm
them up again.
They are an effective
reproductive device if the
right buttons are pushed, but
can also wreak havoc if you
push the wrong
buttons.

TYRES: Tyres are male, because
they go bald easily and are
often over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male
object, because to get them to
go anywhere, you have to light
a fire under their arse

SPONGES: These are female,
because they are soft,
squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES:
Female, because they're
constantly being looked at and
frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male,
because they always use the
same old lines for picking up
people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are
female because, over time, all
the weight shifts to the
bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the
last 5000 years, they've
hardly changed at all, and are
occasionally handy to have
around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female.
Ha! You probably thought it
would be male, but consider
this: It easily gives a man
pleasure, he'd be lost without
it, and while he doesn't
always know which buttons to
push, he just keeps trying
 
Wookie

Wookie

Official Forum Linker
While at a party one evening in Brighton
I met up with a Miss Enid Blyton
She said, "You be Noddy,
And I'll show you my body"
But Big Ears kept turning the light on.

Or even:

There was a young man called Michael
Whose limericks just didn't rhyme.
They never had the right amount of syllables in them to ensure that they scanned properly
And they never had enough lines.
 
T

taitou

Alan
Hmmm, found a few more - :)

Blade Bummer

Big trouble in little vagina

Willie Wanker and the fudge packing factory

and finally...

MOULIN SPLOOGE! :D
 
Wookie

Wookie

Official Forum Linker
@taitou: WWatFPF is the last on the original list...
Have you had your eyes cleaned lately? :)
 
db

db

#chaplife
taitou said:
Hmmm, found a few more - :)
Click to expand...
White Men Can't Pump

Meat The Parents

Charlie's Anals

I Poke 'er Lips Now (you probably have to say that one out loud)

TransPorners*

Poolander*

* those last two would be speciality titles, i imagine :v:


i just came (lol) up with them while looking through my DVD collection.. what a fun game!
 
J

jimbob23

Official 1000th poster
Has everyone missed 'Jurassic Pork'? If not, then I apologise - couldn't be bothered to go back and check all the posts.
 
J

jimbob23

Official 1000th poster
Playing dirtybobby's game:

'Cumming to America', 'Porn of the Dead' (shudder), 'The Deer Humper' (oo-er), '28 Gays Later', 'School of Cock', 'From Dusk Till Porn'

'Sa good game innit?
 
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