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Give us a joke... go on it might be funny :)
- Thread starter BBC
- Start date
Tut Tut.. 
More limericks!!
I heard that old Reggie McGarr
Died peacefully, with his cigar,
Peacefully dreaming,
Not yelling and screaming
Like the folks in the back of his car!
------------------------------------------
On the breasts of a barmaid at Yale
Are tattooed all the prices of ale,
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind
Are the same, but they're written in Braille.
--------------------------------------------
There once was a man from Brighton
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight one"
She said, "Pardon my soul,
But you're in the wrong hole.
There's plenty of room in the right one."
-----------------------------------------------
There was a young man of Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
When they asked him, Why?
He said, with a sigh,
"It's because I always try to get as many words into the last line as I possibly can."
!
More limericks!!
I heard that old Reggie McGarr
Died peacefully, with his cigar,
Peacefully dreaming,
Not yelling and screaming
Like the folks in the back of his car!
------------------------------------------
On the breasts of a barmaid at Yale
Are tattooed all the prices of ale,
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind
Are the same, but they're written in Braille.
--------------------------------------------
There once was a man from Brighton
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight one"
She said, "Pardon my soul,
But you're in the wrong hole.
There's plenty of room in the right one."
-----------------------------------------------
There was a young man of Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
When they asked him, Why?
He said, with a sigh,
"It's because I always try to get as many words into the last line as I possibly can."
!At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouser bloke 6ft 5in
Tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when short, well dressed and
Obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers,
the gay fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Liverpudlian.
Leaning over, he cups his huge ear "Do you want a bl*w job?" he
whispers
At this, the massive Merseysider leaps up with fire in his eyes and
Smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool,
he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar.
Finally he leaves him, badly bruised, in the
car park and returns to his seat as if nothing had happened. Amazed, the
bartender quickly brings over another beer. "I've never seen you react
like that" he says "Just what did he say to you?"
"I'm not sure" the big scouser replies. "Something about a job."
Tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when short, well dressed and
Obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers,
the gay fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Liverpudlian.
Leaning over, he cups his huge ear "Do you want a bl*w job?" he
whispers
At this, the massive Merseysider leaps up with fire in his eyes and
Smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool,
he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar.
Finally he leaves him, badly bruised, in the
car park and returns to his seat as if nothing had happened. Amazed, the
bartender quickly brings over another beer. "I've never seen you react
like that" he says "Just what did he say to you?"
"I'm not sure" the big scouser replies. "Something about a job."
cookie_monster
Well-Known Forumite
im going to send it to the scouser....dirtybobby said:lol that's brilliant
x
cookie_monster
Well-Known Forumite
jimbob23 said:
like in lock stock?unfortunately the scouser me n bobby know is bald as a coot...bless.
x
cookie_monster
Well-Known Forumite
brill!dirtybobby said:
skill point en route bobmeister.
x
+1 Skill pointcookie_monster
Well-Known Forumite
why didnt my other quote show the scouser?jimbob23 said:
hmpf.
bloody technology.
x
ps. grrr, or this one!
Because when you quote a post that has a picture embedded it, it automatically converts the link to the picture into a "url" tag, as opposed to an "img" tag.cookie_monster said:
So, if you want the quoted picture to appear in your post, you have to change the tag to "img" in your post.
Geddit? Sorry if it's not very well explained.
Try it again and you should see what I mean.
FooFighter
Well-Known Forumite
23 people have been found glued to the ceiling and walls of a train in Dublin.
Police believe Irish Muslim extremists have set off the first No More Nails bomb.
Police believe Irish Muslim extremists have set off the first No More Nails bomb.
FooFighter
Well-Known Forumite
A Jamaican fireman came home from work one day and said to his wife,
"Ya now sumptin' womon, we have a wonderful new system at de fire station..
Bell 1 rings - we put on our jackets.
Bell 2 rings we slide down de pole.
Bell 3 rings -we jump on de engine and we's ready to go.
"From now on womon, when I say, 'Bell one' I want you to strip naked.
When I say, 'Bell two' you jump on de bed. When I say, 'Bell three'
we's gonna mek love all tru de night girl."
The next night, he came home and shouted, "Bell One" and the wife
stripped naked! "Bell Two" and she jumped on the bed!
"Bell Three" and they started to make love!
After a few minutes, the wife yelled out, "Bell Four"
"WOMON ... What de hell is Bell Four'?" he asked.
She replied, "ROLL OUT MORE HOSE, MON, YOU AIN'T NOWHERE NEAR DE FIRE"
"Ya now sumptin' womon, we have a wonderful new system at de fire station..
Bell 1 rings - we put on our jackets.
Bell 2 rings we slide down de pole.
Bell 3 rings -we jump on de engine and we's ready to go.
"From now on womon, when I say, 'Bell one' I want you to strip naked.
When I say, 'Bell two' you jump on de bed. When I say, 'Bell three'
we's gonna mek love all tru de night girl."
The next night, he came home and shouted, "Bell One" and the wife
stripped naked! "Bell Two" and she jumped on the bed!
"Bell Three" and they started to make love!
After a few minutes, the wife yelled out, "Bell Four"
"WOMON ... What de hell is Bell Four'?" he asked.
She replied, "ROLL OUT MORE HOSE, MON, YOU AIN'T NOWHERE NEAR DE FIRE"
