What's with Staffordians?

[gon2seed]

Mrs Seed reported that she had extreme difficulty parking in the Esporta Car Park this afternoon, she was even pipped to a space by a car that then disgorged two super sized individuals who then wobbled off the next door Mc Donalds. Apparently there was chaos on the both car parks because the queue for The Golden Arches was spilling out onto the Eccleshall Road and Lloyds Island (Yes I know its Bristol Street now but old habits die hard!)

That Mrs Seed had difficulty parking surprises me not one jot, as she has never reversed into a parking space in her life (I kid you not!), but I am amazed that when, Mc Donalds stock around the world is apparently wilting quicker than post coital 80 year olds appendage, Staffordians still flock to the Temple of Oral Crud in elephantine hoards. I know Stafford has a dearth of tempting eateries, but please .............

 

[db]

is mcdonalds' stock really falling, or is that just anti-capitalist hippy hyperbole? i live in sheffield, and the mcdonaldses here are always bustling with activity.. i hadn't heard anything regarding their decline, other than the usual "don't eat mcdonalds it's made of humans" fair that gets largely ignored by the fast food enjoying majority!

you're point about people being dickheads, on the other hand, is definitely valid..

 

[TENSHON]

mr seed. do we share the same lady? mine goes to esporta and also refuses to reverse park.

 

[db]

i take you're unaware of the as yet unexplained genetic phenomenon which prevents females of the species from being able to reverse park?

 

[TENSHON]

CRP (can't reverse park) syndrome.

 

[TENSHON]

what i don't understand is why they chooses to shunt back and forth five times to get in forwards. this method restricts the manoeuvrability trying to get into a tight space because cars use front steering. by reversing the steering is controlled at the rear and offers more flexibility.
i think miss t will shortly present some scientific evidence on behalf of female drivers...

 

[db]

agree totally.. unfortunately, i'm so used to reverse parking that these days i struggle to park "forwards" (e.g. when going to asda, so i need my boot poking out)..

 

[MISS T]

Reading maps and understanding where you are relies on spatial ability. Spatial ability is one of a male's strongest abilities, it means being able to picture in the mind the shape of things, their dimensions, co-ordinations, proportions, movements and geography.
It developed from ancient times to allow men, the hunters, to calculate speed, movement and distance of prey, work out how fast they have to run to catch their targets. Spatial ability is located in both brain hemispheres for women but does not have a specific measurable location as it does in males. Only about 10% of women have spatial abilities that are as dynamic as those of the best men.

 

[gon2seed]

mr seed. do we share the same lady? mine goes to esporta and also refuses to reverse park.

Don't know, but I'll try anything once

 

[BBC]

I bet the mad rush at Ronald's place is due to the £18 worth of free macdonalds vouchers that were delivered through the town's homes last week. Such delights as buy one big mac get another free etc.
The vouchers have certainly created some excitement in my workplace. How socially responsible it is of maccy's to issue these vouchers after the christmas period is another issue. One thing that is for sure is that the lure of free macdonalds 'food' is enough to get the people of stafford salivating with eager delight and reaching for the keys of the focus.
I still remember the general knowledge vouchers they issued during my schooldays. They were treated with massive enthusiasm by the kids in our school with que's coming out of macdonalds door every lunchtime and kids clambering over encyclopedia's in wh smith's clinging to the hope of a free cheeseburger . Such was commitment of our school to this worthy cause that the story made the national papers!

:/

 

[db]

yeah, i've got one of those voucher booklets an' all.. they expire 11/02/07, and me and ms. dirtybobby spent a good portion of yesterday plotting our eating itinerary for the next 4 weeks so we can most efficiently use all the vouchers lol..

 

[Andreas Rex]

I'm quite pissed off about all this. For some reason neither myself nor Tommy T, who both live round the corner from BBC, have received this booklet. I'm not particularly bothered, as i try to restrict my maccy's consumption to a minimum, but i feel left out! Do they come with a local paper or something...cos i'm pretty sure i get the same ones BBC does. Either that, or someone deems me unworthy of receiving discounts?!

 

[BBC]

It came separate from the chronic so i'm not sure who delivered it.

 

[db]

I'm quite pissed off about all this. For some reason neither myself nor Tommy T, who both live round the corner from BBC, have received this booklet. I'm not particularly bothered, as i try to restrict my maccy's consumption to a minimum, but i feel left out! Do they come with a local paper or something...cos i'm pretty sure i get the same ones BBC does. Either that, or someone deems me unworthy of receiving discounts?!

surely tommy t wouldn't go near mcdonald's anyway, innit?

they weren't in newspapers, just shoved through your letterbox i think..

 

[Andreas Rex]

surely tommy t wouldn't go near mcdonald's anyway, innit?

No i don't think so, but to feel ostracised in your own home town...:meh:

 

[gon2seed]

is mcdonalds' stock really falling, or is that just anti-capitalist hippy hyperbole? i live in sheffield, and the mcdonaldses here are always bustling with activity.. i hadn't heard anything regarding their decline, other than the usual "don't eat mcdonalds it's made of humans" fair that gets largely ignored by the fast food enjoying majority!

Maybe "wilting like an 80 year old's post-coital appendage" was going a bit far, but my sources, (OK radio five) did a few bits and pieces that were reflected in the papers, to the effect that, Mc Donalds worldwide was in a bit of a crisis; and for the first time was actually contracting in some areas rather than expanding. It had an image problem after BSE, unhealthy eating scares, Supersize Me etc. It fought back with new "healthy" alternatives and salad bags for kids, as well as the 100% beef claim for its burgers. And on the last point they are spot on! As long as you count anuses, eyelids, various bits of tendon, mechanically recovered meat, etc, I am sure they are 100% beef, or at least orginate from a bovine cud chewing source!

As you can tell I am not a fan of the Golden Arches, which obviously leaves me in a minority in Stafford if not the world. It's still a highly lucrative franchise to own, if you have the original wonga to buy in.

You are right dirtybobby, my reports of Mc Donalds demise are sadly, far too premature, they have suffered a blip, and will no doubt recover. I will have the pleasure of crowds of asboe'd up chavs crowding round their entrances, gobbing on the floor, expletives issueing from their greasy maws, their gravity defying jeans displaying their designer boxers, for many years to come.

Stafford and every town in the country will be cheerily lit by that glorious red and gold neon shop front, and their streets will be decorated by the gaudy detritus that they package their awful crap in. I will continue follow hot-hatches populated by examples of the nations finest youth, who having visited the drive-thru, scoffed the their cheese and offal in a flacid bun, and washed it down with a potentially toxic mixture that masquerades as milk shake, will hurl afore-mentioned packaging out of the window into the path of my car!

Yes I think you can safely say I am not a fan of Old Mc Donald, I wish he had just stayed on his farm raising all those animals for others to slaughter, and process, rather than have gone into retailing the macerated bodies of those lovely cuddly animals I used to sing about as a child. And of course my prediction of the demise of the Red & Golden Evil Empire was probably nothing more than wishful thinking, but as I always say why spoil a good rumour with the truth!

 

[db]

It had an image problem after BSE, unhealthy eating scares, Supersize Me etc. It fought back with new "healthy" alternatives and salad bags for kids

yeah, unfortunately all the fast food chains went through this stage, and it was a definite low point.. thankfully, they seem to have come through it ok, and they are all starting to release bigger and better burgers again! mcdonalds' Big Tasty and the new Winter Comfort menu for example..

I will have the pleasure of crowds of asboe'd up chavs crowding round their entrances, gobbing on the floor, expletives issueing from their greasy maws, their gravity defying jeans displaying their designer boxers, for many years to come.

you seem to be confusing "chav" culture with "youth" culture; a mistake a lot of people make, particularly of older generations..

you would never see a "chav" in low slung jeans.. far more likely a pair of "trackie bottoms," perhaps with the price/designer label still attached.. the "gravity defying" jeans you describe would usually be attributed to either emo/skater kids (if they are scruffy) or the hip-hop/urban fraternity (if they are over-priced designer labels)..

cheese and offal in a flacid bun, and washed it down with a potentially toxic mixture that masquerades as milk shake

did you know there is no apple in mcdonalds' apple pies? the chunks are potato, it is merely the thick apple jam/sauce that gives it its flavour.. similarly, potato starch is a large component of the milkshakes, used as a bulking/thickening agent..

neither of these things would make me think twice about eating them.. if i found out that the burgers were made from human flesh, i'd probably continue to eat them.. i've been eating them for 20 years, there's no point stopping now! i don't really care where they come from or what's in them - it looks and tastes great (a matter of personal opinion, obviously) once it's in front of me and that's all that matters

 

[Andreas Rex]

did you know there is no apple in mcdonalds' apple pies? the chunks are potato, it is merely the thick apple jam/sauce that gives it its flavour

I can fully appreciate that the milkshakes are pretty much spudshakes, but there's no way i'm gonna swallow the 'fact' that the chunks in apple pies aren't made from apples. I'm happy to accept the milkshakes bit, but you can tell the difference between the texture of apple and potato, and the pies do seem appleyishness.. (don't hurt me! )

 

[MISS T]

It came separate from the chronic so i'm not sure who delivered it.

I usually get a bumper voucher pack, those pesky students.
It's in the Stafford post, innit?

 

[db]

I can fully appreciate that the milkshakes are pretty much spudshakes, but there's no way i'm gonna swallow the 'fact' that the chunks in apple pies aren't made from apples. I'm happy to accept the milkshakes bit, but you can tell the difference between the texture of apple and potato, and the pies do seem appleyishness.. (don't hurt me! )

it would appear that i have fallen fowl of an urban legend.. even so, the point is i thought that was true and it didn't put me off.. mcdonalds obviously lace all their food with some kind of addictive agent (MSG ) because everyone would carry on eating it even if it was made of michelle mcmanus's excrement..