dirtybobby said:
is mcdonalds' stock really falling, or is that just anti-capitalist hippy hyperbole? i live in sheffield, and the mcdonaldses here are always bustling with activity.. i hadn't heard anything regarding their decline, other than the usual "don't eat mcdonalds it's made of humans" fair that gets largely ignored by the fast food enjoying majority!
Maybe "wilting like an 80 year old's post-coital appendage" was going a bit far, but my sources, (OK radio five) did a few bits and pieces that were reflected in the papers, to the effect that, Mc Donalds worldwide was in a bit of a crisis; and for the first time was actually contracting in some areas rather than expanding. It had an image problem after BSE, unhealthy eating scares, Supersize Me etc. It fought back with new "
healthy" alternatives and salad bags for kids, as well as the 100% beef claim for its burgers. And on the last point they are spot on! As long as you count anuses, eyelids, various bits of tendon, mechanically recovered meat, etc, I am sure they are 100% beef, or at least orginate from a bovine cud chewing source!
As you can tell I am not a fan of the Golden Arches, which obviously leaves me in a minority in Stafford if not the world. It's still a highly lucrative franchise to own, if you have the original wonga to buy in.
You are right dirtybobby, my reports of Mc Donalds demise are sadly, far too premature, they have suffered a blip, and will no doubt recover. I will have the pleasure of crowds of asboe'd up chavs crowding round their entrances, gobbing on the floor, expletives issueing from their greasy maws, their gravity defying jeans displaying their designer boxers, for many years to come.
Stafford and every town in the country will be cheerily lit by that glorious red and gold neon shop front, and their streets will be decorated by the gaudy detritus that they package their awful crap in. I will continue follow hot-hatches populated by examples of the nations finest youth, who having visited the drive-thru, scoffed the their cheese and offal in a flacid bun, and washed it down with a potentially toxic mixture that masquerades as milk shake, will hurl afore-mentioned packaging out of the window into the path of my car!
Yes I think you can safely say I am not a fan of Old Mc Donald, I wish he had just stayed on his farm raising all those animals for others to slaughter, and process, rather than have gone into retailing the macerated bodies of those lovely cuddly animals I used to sing about as a child. And of course my prediction of the demise of the Red & Golden Evil Empire was probably nothing more than wishful thinking, but as I always say
why spoil a good rumour with the truth!