John Marwood
I ♥ cryptic crosswords
All the slits were lovely ,sadly not all have survived
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UKIP........
- Thread starter basil
- Start date
Trumpet
Well-Known Forumite
My doctor prescribed some of those for me once. I might as well have shoved them up my arse for all the good they did.
Withnail
Well-Known Forumite
Man ‘Too mad for UKIP’ Shock
By Our Political Staff
Hugh Kip
BRITAIN was reeling today at the discovery that a Member of the European Parliament was considered “too bonkers” to belong to the United Kingdom Independence Party.
The leader of the party, an ashen-faced Nigel Farrago, told reporters whom he had summoned into the snug bar of the Frog and Kraut for an emergency pint and a fag, ”I know it’s difficult to believe but Mr Godfrey Loon is too swivel-eyed even for us. His views are dated, sexist and borderline racist, which is of course why we took him on in the first place, but he has now overstepped the mark.”
Lunatic fridge
Mr Farrago continued… to drink his pint of Spitfire real ale and then said, “Mr Loon called a number of women at the UKIP conference by the offensive term ‘sluts’. They should of course be referred to as ‘little ladies’, ‘her indoors’, ‘she who must be obeyed’, ‘daft old trouts’, ‘the handbag brigade’ or ‘Same again, please, Doris, and one for the Major’. In this modern age, you can’t go around insulting women – because they’ve got no sense of humour, will get all uppity and make a fuss, especially if it’s that time of the month (ie the UKIP conference).”
Monster Raving
Independence Party
Mr Loon was unavailable for comment, as he has been barred from the pub, but is believed to be taking a sabbatical in the Republic of Bongo-bongo Land, before applying for the post of Duke of Edinburgh.
Meanwhile, Mr Michael Crick, the journalist who had been hit over the head by Mr Loon with the UKIP manifesto said he had suffered no serious injury, because the manifesto was “so incredibly thin”.
c/o Private Eye
By Our Political Staff
Hugh Kip
BRITAIN was reeling today at the discovery that a Member of the European Parliament was considered “too bonkers” to belong to the United Kingdom Independence Party.
The leader of the party, an ashen-faced Nigel Farrago, told reporters whom he had summoned into the snug bar of the Frog and Kraut for an emergency pint and a fag, ”I know it’s difficult to believe but Mr Godfrey Loon is too swivel-eyed even for us. His views are dated, sexist and borderline racist, which is of course why we took him on in the first place, but he has now overstepped the mark.”
Lunatic fridge
Mr Farrago continued… to drink his pint of Spitfire real ale and then said, “Mr Loon called a number of women at the UKIP conference by the offensive term ‘sluts’. They should of course be referred to as ‘little ladies’, ‘her indoors’, ‘she who must be obeyed’, ‘daft old trouts’, ‘the handbag brigade’ or ‘Same again, please, Doris, and one for the Major’. In this modern age, you can’t go around insulting women – because they’ve got no sense of humour, will get all uppity and make a fuss, especially if it’s that time of the month (ie the UKIP conference).”
Monster Raving
Independence Party
Mr Loon was unavailable for comment, as he has been barred from the pub, but is believed to be taking a sabbatical in the Republic of Bongo-bongo Land, before applying for the post of Duke of Edinburgh.
Meanwhile, Mr Michael Crick, the journalist who had been hit over the head by Mr Loon with the UKIP manifesto said he had suffered no serious injury, because the manifesto was “so incredibly thin”.
c/o Private Eye
You're right Withnail, people are mad who support UKIP
Mad that the coalition haven't cut the deficit and we are still borrowing over £100 billion a year to balance the books.
Mad that between them the Lib dems, Labour and the Tories have added over £1 TRILLION to the national debt
Mad that the government is allowing net immigration when we already have a housing shortage and our public services are creaking.
Mad that the government is importing foreign labour and then wondering why over 1 million under 25's can't find work
Mad that successive governments send our troops into costly wars at the same time cutting back on defence spending
Mad that politicians have handed over so much policy and law making powers to Brussels and Strasbourg
Mad that the coalition haven't cut the deficit and we are still borrowing over £100 billion a year to balance the books.
Mad that between them the Lib dems, Labour and the Tories have added over £1 TRILLION to the national debt
Mad that the government is allowing net immigration when we already have a housing shortage and our public services are creaking.
Mad that the government is importing foreign labour and then wondering why over 1 million under 25's can't find work
Mad that successive governments send our troops into costly wars at the same time cutting back on defence spending
Mad that politicians have handed over so much policy and law making powers to Brussels and Strasbourg
John Marwood
I ♥ cryptic crosswords
Gramaisc
Forum O. G.
Current figures suggest that the UK currently has close to one million empty homes. http://www.emptyhomes.com/statistics-2/empty-homes-statistice-201112/
John Marwood
I ♥ cryptic crosswords
Hands up anyone who understands the difference between the 'Deficit' and the 'Debt' ...
Gramaisc
Forum O. G.
proactive
Enjoying a drop of red.
You're right about all these things. But UKIP can't be the answer as their policies are merely headlines and contain no substantive solutions to any of these problems.
We know what they claim they WON'T do, but what WILL they do?
It's all irrelevant anyway as whoever does get into power will be wooed by the shiny limos and 'free' lunches and do sod all to help any of us.
Gramaisc
Forum O. G.
Not everybody - José Mujica, President of Uruguay, still uses his old Beetle. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/José_Mujica
..it may not be obvious from the photo opportunity above, but he also has a three-legged dog..
proactive
Enjoying a drop of red.
Can't see our Nige, Dave, Ed or Nick, going for that somehow, can you?
Maybe it's a stance that Jeremy Lefroy or that witless Labour candidate we have could employ...
Gramaisc
Forum O. G.
He has been shot six times and done fourteen years in a military prison - they might not be keen on the entry requirements..
proactive
Enjoying a drop of red.
Surely essential life experiences for any self-respecting UK politician.
Gramaisc
Forum O. G.
Ours tend to do the jail bit afterwards...
John Marwood
I ♥ cryptic crosswords
Deficit
Broadly the difference between what a Government spends and what it gains ( usually in tax ) in one year . Obviously a deficit implies a negative difference, ie the Government has spent more than it has 'earned' for that year
This figure is important as it will set the interest rate at which the Country/ Government will pay on its National Debt
National Debt
Broadly what the UK owes in total . This is a large amount. It is often measured in two different ways:
1 As a total amount
2 As a percentage of GDP ( Gross Domestic Product ) broadly, the value of goods and services produced in the country in a year
*Not to be confused with GNP ( Gross National Product ) which is based on ownership*
Who do we owe this large amount to?
The largest amount is owed to Pension 'companies' and Insurance 'companies
The second largest amount is owed to overseas 'investors' . These can be individuals, businesses and Governments or States. It is not simply one country owing to another
Back to you in the studio
John Marwood
I ♥ cryptic crosswords
Gramaisc
Forum O. G.
Can you re-type that in a German accent, please?
