Celebrity Big Brother 2007

[BBC]

Cool. I'll answer first!

CHAV TEST

Do you buy your food from Iceland?
No i don't think i have ever set foot in there either but i can imagine it is aisle upon aisle of processed shiz made by bernard manning.

Have you ever worn Burberry check?
No way Jose.

Have you ever purchased a KFC family bucket?
Big family fortunes incorrect sound effect.

Are you into 'R & B'?
I prefer B and C

Have you ever worn jewellery from 'Elizabeth Duke' at Argos?
Yes but only at my new year's chave fancy dress party back in '04

Have you ever knowingly bought own brand cola?
For me, BBC, this is the epitome of blasphemy!

Do you dream of souping up your car and getting a spoiler?
I have done this, but in an extremely tasteful way and my car is a classic and not a vauxhall nova powered by a hairdryer.

Have you ever owned a pair of white Reebok Classic trainers?
Yes but this was years ago when they first came out and they were cool. I have owned most types of leisure footwear to be fair.

Have you ever offered to buy a cigarette from someone?
Haha Haha. Yes when i was 12 down the park with Andreas. We got bored of smoking bus tickets!

Have you ever brought a screw top bottle of wine to a dinner party?
I hate vin so no.

Do you know anyone that has been on 'Trisha'?
No and if i did there is no way i would even admit to it.

Have you ever worn a football shirt while not playing sport?
Erm yeah. Not sure if this qualifies a chav though to be honest.

Can you name any characters from Footballers' Wives?
No never watched it.

Do you know any straight men who wear earings?
I hope not.

I think you will all agree this certainly means i ain't a chav innit.

Bring on the mass cull!!!!!

 

[TENSHON]

you scored 5 which is a bit concerning. you avoid the cull but we'll have to put you under observation.

 

[jimbob23]

I'm not even going to answer any. Looks like I'll be first against the wall come the revolution.

Just to clarify, my rant wasn't only aimed at chavs, but rather at the wider, unconditional 'celebrity' loving/creating society out there.

My main concern is that culture is going to become so polluted and diluted by so much that isn't actually worthy of attention that within a few generations all talent, creativity, ingenuity, innovation etc is just going to be flushed out of the gene pool.

Maybe I'm turning into some sort of elitist, or maybe I've always been one, but I have always held the belief that true talent and hard work is far superior to and of more worth than useless attention seeking behaviour and shouting a lot.

 

[victoriab]

Firstly, what's wrong with KFC eh?

culture is going to become so polluted and diluted by so much that isn't actually worthy of attention that within a few generations all talent, creativity, ingenuity, innovation etc is just going to be flushed out of the gene pool.

This is what I was getting at also. My belief (I decided the other day), is that this explosion of 'that' culture is because of a decline in some kind of moral (or societal - dunno if that's a word) respect. 100 years ago there were standards in the sense that people cared what the neighbours thought, had to respect they're elders and so on. That's pretty much gone now and people have the moral freedom to do as they wish. In some ways I think this is the way it should be, we shouldn't be restricted in the way we live our lives (to a certain extent). However (this is going to sound bad), I think those standards are required to keep those in check who cannot understand the reasons for them, in other words, people who know no better. The kind of people I'm talking about are those that are of the attitude that they don't need to contribute, that they can leech of everyone else as much as possible, those that take the easy route! I think they must have no self respect. People who have the slightest bit of intellect can see that there are certain things that you owe to yourself, furthing yourself in some way be it spiritually or creatively or intellectually or whatever.

All that probably sounded a bit crap as I'm rubbish at expressing my thoughts coherently - the stuff I have in my head is world-changing - honest

 

[db]

wait - when did the big brother thread become a political debate??

mmm, interesting point. perhaps a mass cull is the way forward. i suppose they'd need to be some sort of test to see who qualifies for termination.

lol here we go:

CHAV TEST
Do you buy your food from Iceland?
no, the biggest asda in the UK - brap!

Have you ever worn Burberry check?
god no..

Have you ever purchased a KFC family bucket?
yes, but they're not a patch on the boneless bucket.. KFC are the shiznit..

Are you into 'R & B'?
it wouldn't be my first choice..

Have you ever worn jewellery from 'Elizabeth Duke' at Argos?
no.. i wanted to buy my mum one of those rings that says "MUM" though, when i was about 9.. thankfully, my plan never came to fruition..

Have you ever knowingly bought own brand cola?
i love panda cola..

Do you dream of souping up your car and getting a spoiler?
i wouldn't mind some nicer wheels, but i can't abide spoliers/skirts/body modifications..

Have you ever owned a pair of white Reebok Classic trainers?
no..

Have you ever offered to buy a cigarette from someone?
countless times, in my younger years..

Have you ever brought a screw top bottle of wine to a dinner party?
i've never brought any wine to any party..

Do you know anyone that has been on 'Trisha'?
i know 3 people who have been on trisha.. they weren't all on the same show, either!

Have you ever worn a football shirt while not playing sport?
i've never worn a football shirt..

Can you name any characters from Footballers' Wives?
no - as much as i like throwaway TV, even i am above that crap..

Do you know any straight men who wear earings?
used to.. thankfully, they seem to have grown out of it..

 

[MISS T]

Thought the largest Asda was in Manchester?

 

[db]

Thought the largest Asda was in Manchester?

maybe times have changed, then.. the one in sheffield, i'm reliably informed, is where jarvis cockface filmed the common people video.. it's pretty farking massive (2 floors) so when i was told it was the largest, i just believed it..

either way, it's massive and they sell everything.. i love it..

 

[TENSHON]

you're both wrong. the largest is in milton keynes.
http://www.mkweb.co.uk/shopping/DisplayArticle.asp?ID=32067

 

[MISS T]

you're both wrong. the largest is in milton keynes.
http://www.mkweb.co.uk/shopping/DisplayArticle.asp?ID=32067

(manchester's 2nd largest)

 

[gon2seed]

Hate that BB rubbish! Mrs Seed and one of the Seedlings are addicted, so I am forced into the kitchen.

But the mention of the Legend that is Cocker and Sheffiled made me smile ....... alot.

Mr Cocker lost his virginity in the Botanical Gardens in Sheffield, lovely spot. I found out this delightful fact while watching a brief documentary about him on late night TV a good few years ago. This fact had me scrabbling for my phone, and here is why ....

I was an undergraduate at Sheffield Uni 81 -84. I stayed in Halls of residence along with another Staffordian Dave. We were best muckers. Anyway to say we were both a bit naive would be like calling Oliver Reed a moderate social drinker.

Anyway it didn't take long for the bohemain atmosphere to work for young Dave, and during an indian summer he met the delightful Phillipa. Vicars daughter from down South. To cut a long story short, she may only have been a vicars daughter but she certainly knew the way to heaven! Dave was enticed into losing his cherry al fresco, beneath a statue of Queen Victoria, who was no doubt not amused! I don't know how most people first experience the joys of carnubial bliss, but this one certainly impressed me.

To get to the seductive spot Dave had had to assist Phillipa over a 7ft fence, no mean feat as she was built for comfort! The 7ft fence of course surrounded the Botanical Gardens in Sheffield!

And what was the name of the adventurous seductress who plucked the bespectacled, gangling, songsters cherry? Phillipa, one and the same!

"Dave you'll never guess what" I shouted down the phone. We worked out that he had been there first, which tickled him pink. How many other boys became men in the hands of the formidable Phillipa we shall never know, but though Dave has gone on to be a succesful fellow in his own right, he still drags this tale out from time to time and basks in the reflected glory.

My attempts at amour were singularly unsuccesful, having gone to Sheffiled emboldened and excited by tales of sex and debauchery, armed with a shitty stick to ward off the attention of hordes of undergraduate nymphomaniacs, I found I was as popular with the ladies as Jade Goodey would be at a MENSA convention. In fact the only proposition I got in intro week was from a hairy arsed geordie, who groped my crotch while I was crossing the dance floor. I informed him that I didn't think I was what he was looking for, and had to spend the rest of the year bumping in to him as he lived on the same corridor.

Unsurprisingly, when I attracted the attention of an old aquaintance, at a mates party back in Ford, only weeks into my first year, I responded with enthusiasm. Mrs Seed and I have been together ever since, (I think it was that taffeta dress), 25 years together and three sturdy seedlings! Funny how things turn out ain't it?

You know ... on second thoughts it wasn't the dress, it didn't really suit me! ... it was probably the stockings........ Mrs Seeds of course.

 

[TENSHON]

discussing the chav test with miss t has highlighted some grave concerns. i'm living with a chav folks. i quized her on the following and the answers were startling...

CHAV TEST
Do you buy your food from Iceland?
she doesn't but she has done. meat, bad meat, chicken drumsticks she said.
Have you ever worn Burberry check?
she says no but is in possession of a £1 umbrella in a burberry pattern.
Have you ever purchased a KFC family bucket?
not a bucket and she doesn't agree with the stuff but she has been known to visit the colonel
Are you into 'R & B'?
nope to this one
Have you ever worn jewellery from 'Elizabeth Duke' at Argos?
'it's the only place in town you could get gold-plated jewellery at a good price' she says.
Have you ever knowingly bought own brand cola?
yep.
Do you dream of souping up your car and getting a spoiler?
she doesn't dream about it, she just reminisces about her vauxhall nova days.
Have you ever owned a pair of white Reebok Classic trainers?
very proudly.
Have you ever offered to buy a cigarette from someone?
probably but she's more likely to sponge for free.
Have you ever brought a screw top bottle of wine to a dinner party?
no but she'd happily drink someone else's.
Do you know anyone that has been on 'Trisha'?
her best mate was on vanessa.
Have you ever worn a football shirt while not playing sport?
'god no,' she says, 'i'm not a chav' mmm...
Can you name any characters from Footballers' Wives?
chardonnay
Do you know any straight men who wear earings?
plenty

she's got a chav rating of 13/15 which i find rather surprising as she's a total snob at times and loves nothing more than to belittle lower society. bearing in mind it's her b'day in a few weeks i think i'll treat her to some jade goody perfume and a 'MISS T 4 TENSHON' windscreen sticker.

p.s. whilst posting this topic she was watching darts!

 

[Admin]

I was going to suggest a "Most Entertaining Forummer of the Month" type award, but there's no point because gon2seed would just win it all the time!

Another excellent tale, old chap

 

[rich upsetter]

I was going to suggest a "Most Entertaining Forummer of the Month" type award, but there's no point because gon2seed would just win it all the time!

Another excellent tale, old chap

i concur!

 

[cookie_monster]

I was an undergraduate at Sheffield Uni 81 -84. I stayed in Halls of residence along with another Staffordian Dave. We were best muckers. Anyway to say we were both a bit naive would be like calling Oliver Reed a moderate social drinker.

right seed, lets get this straight.

you used to fancy my mum when she was your teacher.
you went off her when she was up the stick with me.
you then buggered off to sheffield uni with high hopes of debauchery and an unhealthy booze habit.
you lived in an undisclosed halls of residence (broomhill way im guessing)
then you came back to stafford.

are you sure im not a secret love child of you n me mum?

i went to uni at sheffield (97-01) with high hopes of debauchery and an unhealthy booze habit.
(entirely fulfilled i have to say)
i used to live in tapton halls at crookes.
both years i lived there, there were people from stafford in my halls.

there are distinct similarities....although i came back to stafford and then returned to my home from home sheffield.




x

 

[MISS T]

I'd like to hear the stories Phillipa has to tell of her uni days . . .

 

[gon2seed]

Earnshaw, Cookie Monster, lived in Halls for three years and saw the advent of the fairer sex at the fine old establishment. This did not have any effect on my luck with the ladies however, which is a relief to the good Mrs Seed I am sure, as we were going steady by then.

I would love to claim parentage Cookie, (chance would have been a fine thing) but I am sad to report my lusting was unrequited.

Went to Pastiche Saturday night for Mrs Seeds 43rd B'day with another couple of Balfour former pupils, and guess who came into the conversation yet again! Totally unprompted by me I swear!

It is getting quite spooky!

 

[db]

are you sure im not a secret love child of you n me mum?

this would be brilliant lol.. it would make great fodder for the forum soap opera tenshon/sofa proposed in an earlier thread!

I'd like to hear the stories Phillipa has to tell of her uni days . . .

ditto.. especially seeing as gon2seed described her "built for comfort" lol.. i'm imagining sharon/tracy from viz

 

[cookie_monster]

It is getting quite spooky!

youre not wrong there! lol

i wasnt far off on the broomhill thing either...mind you, all the unis halls are in pretty much the same square mile or so, so i spose it wasnt rocket science.

actually, after the jarvis story, i wont ever be able to take my folks to the botanical gardens again. they liked them when they came to visit one summer- although i think the cafe rouge on eccy road that served breakfast outside was actually the greater calling.

anyhoo, ill let you off, being as i definitely have my dads facial features.

hope you enjoyed your meal at pastiche. do they still do the 3 courses for a tenner thing during the week? that was always a good place for a girly piss up and food evening.


x

 

[db]

hope you enjoyed your meal at pastiche. do they still do the 3 courses for a tenner thing during the week? that was always a good place for a girly piss up and food evening.

pretty much every (stafford based) girl i know thinks pastiche is the bee's knees, whereas every bloke (myself included) thinks it's absolute dog shit..

i'm not entirely sure what point i'm making but i'm glad i made it..

 

[cookie_monster]

pretty much every (stafford based) girl i know thinks pastiche is the bee's knees

when i was last living in stafford it was the best option out of a bad bunch.

it was a proper restaurant but was cheap enough to go and have a boozy meal.

the food was sometimes a bit hit and miss, but on the whole, it was pretty ok.

i think the difference is that boys arent that fussed about the food part and are quite happy to just go with the booze, whereas girls prefer to drink, gossip and have chocolate cake for afters for that fullly rounded girls night out.

well, i know thats my preference.


x