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Give us a joke... go on it might be funny :)

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by BBC, Oct 3, 2006.

  1. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

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  2. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    We live, (or die,) in hope. :heyhey:

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  3. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    I miss this pair and their irreverent humour:

     
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  4. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    A new take on an old story …. :buddy:

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  5. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    Duke of Edinburgh Driving School promotion: :buddy:

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  6. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    ♪ Hello silence my old friend ...♫

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  7. Studio Tan

    Studio Tan Well-Known Forumite

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    1st old man : “I’ve developed an unusual complaint, every time I sneeze I get an erection”

    2nd old man : “How strange. Are you taking anything for it ?”

    1st old man : “Yes, snuff”
     
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  8. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    In the incubator, the farmer can't hear you scream !!! :o

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  9. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

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  10. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    You do have to wonder if M & S have thought this one through …. :heyhey:

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  11. Thehooperman

    Thehooperman Well-Known Forumite

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    It could be worse it could say "not just any love sausage this is an 'S and M love sausage' " :)
     
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  12. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    When I first saw this I laughed, then the laugh dried away as I realised you have to be a bit of an old fart to get it … :heyhey::eek:

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  13. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

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    I think of it as a comedic asset technically speaking.
     
  14. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

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    [​IMG]
     
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  15. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    I know the feeling … :eek:

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  16. Boatbuilder

    Boatbuilder Well-Known Forumite

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    A Yorkshireman goes into a pub and says to the barman, "A pint of bitter, please."
    Barman: "Certainly Sir. Whitbread?"
    Man: "Ee, go on, I'll 'ave a couple of slices!"

    Really made me chuckle :D
     
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  17. Boatbuilder

    Boatbuilder Well-Known Forumite

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    I've just got first place in a national bullshitting competition.

    Well, I actually came 12th.

    To be honest, there wasn't even a competition.
     
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  18. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    Always 'respect your elders' as they often know far more than you might think … :heyhey:

    Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
    In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'

    She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realise you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

    The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?'

    She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

    The defence attorney nearly died.

    The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said:
    'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'
     
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  19. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    The pragmatist:

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  20. Boatbuilder

    Boatbuilder Well-Known Forumite

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    Got asked the time by a Yodel delivery driver earlier.
    I told him it was sometime between 8am and 6pm
     
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