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Give us a joke... go on it might be funny :)

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by BBC, Oct 3, 2006.

  1. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    horses.jpg
     
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  2. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    I have to say, I think I've twanged something in my gut laughing at this …. :haw:

    Dwarfs.jpg
     
  3. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

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    "Name the seven dwarfs" is a common pub quiz question.

    We once managed six and put a made-up one to make up the seven.

    You can find a list of the many names that were considered, before the final 'official' seven was settled upon.

    It contains, amongst many others, Sniffy and Stuffy.

    So, our guess of Stiffy, wasn't really that far out.
     
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  4. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    Hale and Pace 'Social Distancing Bar Fight.' Uncannily prophetic …. :heyhey:

     
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  5. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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  6. Trumpet

    Trumpet Well-Known Forumite

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    Banned from Tesco's again?
     
  7. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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  8. whitelion

    whitelion Well-Known Forumite

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    About a month before my uncle died we greased his back with lard. He went downhill fast after that.
     
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  9. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    I like those kind of jokes ... they're a good test for my groan-o-meter … :teef:

    Example:

    I debated with a flat earther once. He got so mad he stormed off saying he would walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
    He came around eventually.
     
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  10. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    You might not like the guy, and I'll be the first to admit he's a bit of a party pooper … but at least he's considerate enough to wear a face mask in these troubled times … :P

    Jason.jpg
     
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  11. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    Love is eternal .... (ish)

    pillow.jpg
     
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  12. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

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  13. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    (If you're not a fan of either series, you probably won't get it.) :eek:

    "Dragons ?? ... HAH !!! ..... I've shit em."
    Bjorn.jpg
     
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  14. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

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    As Egypt begins to emerge from its lockdown period, the Government is trying various strategies to get the population moving again.

    One of these is to restart the sense of 'bustle' that is so much a part of life in Cairo and Alexandria.

    It has been one of the notable effects of the recent couple of months that the sounds of life in the cities has been so absent.

    In an effort to speed up the resumption of 'normality', the government has asked the cities' taxi drivers to return to work, sounding their horns with as much gusto as they have done in the decades of recent history.

    It is hoped that this will help to reduce the inevitable anxiety that some will feel about what will be another disruption to their lives.

    Operation "Toot 'n' Calm 'Em'" is set to run for an initial two weeks.
     
  15. Glam

    Glam Mad Cat Woman

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    DOH!!
    upload_2020-6-6_14-2-36.jpeg
     
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  16. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    groanometerbusted.jpg
     
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  17. Glam

    Glam Mad Cat Woman

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    A dying husband in a Hospital bed asks his wife, ''Our seventh child always looked different from the other six, did he have a different father?''
    His wife, crying uncomfortably replies, ''Yes''.
    He asks, ''Whos is it?''
    His wife replies, ''Yours!!'
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2020
  18. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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    Ouch !!!

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  19. Gramaisc

    Gramaisc Forum O. G.

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    Probably the 'best' Charades performance I ever saw was when a chap was given a film title to do.

    Six words, but he felt that only the second one was doable at all, other than the two "The"s, which we got quickly, leading to some overconfidence on all parts.

    After a brief attempt at it, which involved lying on the pub floor and arching his back until it just all hurt too much, he decided that a "sounds like" attempt was a better approach.

    This involved him pulling his right arm in an exaggerated sweep, then flicking the fingers of his left hand open* at arm's length, blinking slightly, and then reaching forwards to grab an imaginary item.

    Nobody had the slightest idea what was going on. Eventually, just to avoid any "accidents", we had to stop him and get the answer.

    One day, somebody will remake this film as "The Fridge on the River Kwai".


    * This was the light coming on when the fridge door was opened.
     
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  20. BobClay

    BobClay Well-Known Forumite

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